SPY 33: You Might Be Neurodivergent

I could have been the poster child for neurodivergence if it was researched as equally in girls as it was in boys back in the 90s.

Alas, it was missed, I was masked, and I wouldn’t fully discover the nooks and crannies of my brain’s MO until 30 years old.

The statistics on neurodivergence diagnosis TODAY (1 in 36 people) versus 10, 20 years ago (1 in 150 people) is staggering.

And those numbers are probably even MORE extreme for diagnoses in girls and adult women.

Are there more neurodivergent people now than there were 20 years ago?

No, probably not.

Research has simply developed and expanded to include far more diagnostic criteria in both men AND FINALLY…

women, too.

Picture this.

Little Ellicia at the grocery store with her mother.

Mother runs into a neighbor friend and starts chatting.

Ellicia goes from somewhat activated to full send terror in her nervous system (stranger fuckin danger, bro).

She hides behind her mom, goes silent (non verbal as the docs say), avoids eye contact with tall human, and feels wildly uncertain and unsafe.

Mother, not fully grasping the experience Ellicia is having says, “ELLICIA!! SAY HI. DON’T BE RUDE!!!”

Turns to neighbor friend and APOLOGIZES for disrespect from her child.

That is case study 1.

Now. Picture THIS.

Little Ellicia. In elementary school. Ultimate FREEZE nervous system response. (For entire scholastic, career).

Not absorbing information, not chillin out maxin, relaxin all cool.

NO!!!

Terrified.

First day of kindergarten.

She doesn’t know how to “make friends” or “socialize” (she knows how to escape into her mind palace and mind her own fucking peaceful business).

Recess.

The most terrifying part of the day.

It’s not structured.

It’s not teacher led.

You just….do whatever you want surrounded by SEVERAL humans.

Little Ellicia spends her recess walking the perimeter of the playground alone. Putting one foot in front of the other. Passing the time in sheer terror.

This my friends, is neurodivergence in a little girl.

Since girls have such a different social conditioning than boys, these atypical traits just show up and SCREAM at you.

They are subtle. They are internalized. And then, because girls are taught to conform, be quiet and obedient, we also become masters at masking.

Masking is essentially observing carefully what is expected of us and then “role playing” what we are “supposed to say and do.”

Down to, when we smile, how we respond, what we do with our body language, what we wear, the tone of our voice.

Not only do we need the language and help supporting our unique, diverse brain/body systems, WE ALSO need to decondition and unlearn all the ways we have been taught to PERFORM and REPRESS our truest selves.

On today’s podcast episode I talk about how likely it is that more people are neurodivergent than we realize.

I share how my self diagnosis of neurodivergence came about AND how self diagnosis IS a valid method if you trust your research abilities, sources, and can simply use discernment in your lived experience compared with the available data that’s out there.

It’s been liberating and has also ignited a deep grieving process. No cap.

Ok. I love you. Give it a listen. Tell me YOUR thoughts and if you suspect you might be neurodiverse as well.

I can send you some resources on where to start.

Go to elliciaturnercoaching.com to book a consult.