In part 2 of our “Identity outside of fostering” series, we cover traps to avoid and how our self-perception shapes how we communicate.
Today, we’re getting into some deeper things concerning identity, and we want to shed some light on the traps or dangers of how we see ourselves to help all of us make better decisions in our lives and especially in our marriages.
We’re approaching this from the perspective of a stay at home parent. However, if you’re not a stay at home parent and still struggling with this, take the content and apply it to you.
Traps that trip us up:
Comparing yourself to your spouse
Comparing yourself to your former life before marriage or kids
If one spouse pressures the other to be more, do more, achieve more
Caring a lot about your spouse’s opinion to the point you allow it to shape your self-perception
Culture/societal expectations that are real or perceived that leave you feeling insignificant or unworthy
Controlling people or a controlling spouse whom you lack healthy boundaries with leaving you feeling:
How your spouse’s opinion/care/support affect a spouse’s identity in good ways
Identity and communication
In an argument, people sometimes communicate from a place of defending who they see themselves as or who we want someone else to see us as
Another thing people do is they subtly or not so subtly share things that are meant to make us look good to someone else
How we see ourselves is so powerful and so much of our thinking, decisions and emotions hinges on self-perception.
Finding freedom in self-forgetfulness
The pursuit of selflessness and less selfishness
Shedding of ego and pride allows a married couple to be serving, generous and sacrificial to each other
Contentment and health can be found in neither holding an identity of good or bad, significant or insignificant, but in not focusing on self so much period and focusing on others
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