Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to
another episode of my life is a
joke at Anya Ho's feed.
What's up, baby jokers, what itis, what it ain't, nigga miss
you like.
Get into the loop, babe, getinto it.
I hate this bitch up, for thosethat are listening cannot see
my fine, beautiful ass.
(00:27):
You know the vibes.
You know it's giving manytwists.
Ponytail high pony got a coupleof strands down.
You know it's giving classywomen.
I got olive green, one littlegothic.
This three did my makeup real,fucking good, real fucking good.
Got a lash on you know Causethe other day I was looking in
the mirror and I just wasn'tliking that girl I was seeing.
(00:49):
I said I don't know, and then Iseen the picture, cause, you
know, I got my vision board inmy bathroom and I got a picture
on there where my makeup wasdone like real, real good, and I
said I know that girl, I knowthat girl, let's get back to it,
let's get back to it.
So I did my makeup today andI'm feeling like that girl, that
bitch, you know period can nailher fuck with me.
You know the vibes.
You know the fucking vibes.
(01:10):
Anyway, y'all, I hope everyoneis doing well cause you know I
missed you.
You know I come back everyFriday and I be miss you all.
So I be gone for a little bitlonger than that.
But you know, my year is this.
I be.
I be going through some things.
I feel like it's going to be alittle rough.
I be going through some things.
I feel like it's going to be alittle rough in 2024.
You know what I'm saying?
What's my little rapper name?
(01:33):
Fee with the Beats?
I don't fucking know.
Look, that's producer tag.
Look, okay, I have some storiesto tell.
I have some stories to tell.
I know y'all love my storytimes.
I know y'all love when I telly'all a cute little key, key.
So we're going to get into it.
So, y'all, I am turning 26 thisyear and it's something about
(01:55):
that.
That's just like that's kind ofcrazy.
Like I'm really I'm very muchso feeling like I wouldn't say
like 16, but I do like.
You know how people be like I'mjust a girl, like, yeah, I'm
just a girl, but I'm not like agirl.
You know it's just giving youngteen.
You know what I'm saying.
It's giving like 21, like 22.
(02:16):
I don't feel like I'm 25, aboutto be 26.
But you know what, though I am.
I'm like I feel like I'm theonly person that like accepts
like age and like, you know,getting older, like yeah, it's
crazy, but I wouldn't like if Istarted growing like a whole
bunch of gray hairs.
I'm not going to be theregrowing a dial, I'm not.
(02:37):
I'm going to just embrace thegrays and the whites because I
mean what the fuck that's me?
You know what I mean.
I'm just, I'm just embracingthat.
I don't be like it when peoplebe you know, diamonds and stuff,
like you know they be like I'mtoo young for them.
I'm like girl who gives a fuck,who gives a fuck.
Age and time is not fuckingreal.
It's not real.
It's not real.
(02:57):
Your body just started doingthat, just started growing gray
and white hairs for whateverreason.
You know what I'm saying.
That'll mean I will fuck thefuck.
But you know whatever, twoinches on, I can't wait to get
some gray hairs.
I got a couple of strands butyou know, I would love to be
like a full gray, like a silver.
I think they'd be so cute.
Maybe a little same people likeI don't know, I fuck with the
(03:18):
gray hair.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not finna be done Shit,it's just gonna be what it's
gonna be Gray hair with a littlesilk purse.
Come on, guys, get into it,okay.
So yeah, I'm really turninginto like an old woman.
And so yesterday, you know, I'mat home and it's like a whole
(03:39):
bunch of kids like outside mydoor.
Like you know, I stay inapartments and so we get out.
It's a little city shit.
It's a little city shit.
So I'm all the way at the topand like it's like the kids are
just like hanging out on likethe steps and shit.
And I'm not talking about likeno, look kids, I mean like they
in high school like but it'slike 10 of their ass and it's
(04:02):
loudest fucking.
I'm just like what the fuck isgoing on.
And so I was on the phone withmy sister and she was like you
gonna call the police?
Fuck, no, I'm not, no police,ass bitch.
I don't want to call the policeon their ass, I just want them
to go to fuck home.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not gonna call the policeon them because they don't look
like the ones that comply.
You know what I'm saying.
A motherfucker might fuckaround and die, you know.
You know they at that age whereyou know, they think they know
(04:23):
every fucking thing, can'tnobody tell them shit?
I don't want to call the policeon them, I just want their ass
to go to fuck home.
And so, you know, I'm up in thehouse.
You know, I'm up in the housewith my good sister, honey you
know.
And in the babes the dog has togo outside, she has to pee bad,
she has to pee real bad.
And so I'm like, damn honey,like you know, we can't go out
right now.
You're gonna scare the fuck outthem kids.
You know what I'm saying, likeyou know.
(04:44):
But she, like she's doing allthat kind of shit.
And I'm like, okay, honey, girl, we finna go, we finna go.
You know what I ain't finna,make you hold no piss, but
you're gonna have to put yourlittle collar on, because
sometimes, when you see people,you forget that you got to get
out of here and pee, you forgetthe whole mission, you forget
what we came out here to do,because you know, at the end of
(05:06):
the day I'm a fucking mother andyou know you have to redirect,
you know.
So I put a little collar on andit's not a shot collar bitch,
it's a vibration collar.
That's what it is.
It's not a shot collar.
You can, you can come over hereand you can feel it and it's
just gonna vibrate your head.
It's just to redirect and gether attention Because, like I
said, she be acting new when weget outside and she see people
(05:29):
and so I go out, I step out andI'm like you know you got to
step out like the dogs, I don'tknow these things.
So I, you know I step outsideand you know, honey, see they
ass she real big, real big andbad and ugly.
I'm not like honey, what thefuck is you doing?
Baby, these fucking kids got alike wretches when the lights
(05:52):
came on in this bitch, I does nofucking capping in my rapid.
I'm fucking telling you, thesebitches got the like getting the
fuck out the way.
I, baby, when I see God level,I holler because I said you
bitches had no, y'all had noreasons to be over here.
Don't nobody, don't none ofy'all even stay over here.
You know what I'm saying.
(06:14):
It's just like you know, whenyou stay somewhere for a little
while, you can peep and know whoyour neighbor is a little bit.
You know who your neighbor is,and so it is.
It's like a couple of littlekids that stay over here, but
not enough for all of their assto just be parlaying, like you
know, key Ken, and hanging outon the motherfucking stairs.
Baby, this ain't New York.
You don't hang out on the brownstar duck, this ain't a brown
(06:36):
stone.
These is the apartment's.
Baby.
You got stuff.
You know, sam, we got theparking lot for that we got a
little part.
You know, take our ass to thepark.
We got, like I feel likesomewhere around this,
motherfucker, it's a littlegazebo for your ass to sit up
under.
Like go figure it the fuck out,but don't be standing in no
volume and no sale, making awhole lot of fucking noise.
(06:57):
Y'all disturbing my peace.
And so everybody's scared like,oh my god, it's a dog.
You know, and that being thething about niggas that be
pissing me off a little bitEverybody wanted pit bull, until
they see a pit bull.
Now everybody running andscrambling and shit Clutching,
the clutching.
They pearls bitch.
You got that too, lee, in yourbag.
Get the fuck out of here.
I already know y'all bitchesgot the blinky.
So what you scared for I saiddamn, y'all scared like that.
(07:20):
I said good morning.
They just stirred in my head.
I holly, it was so fuckingfunny.
I said honey, and we shouldhave just came out here early
with that.
It's got the fuck out there.
They seem tough.
I should insert a little pictureof my honey girl.
She's, I'm gonna, I'm gonnainsert a picture.
This is my good babes, this ismy babe, she's a cutie.
You know saying she is biggestFuck.
I think I think I got I got ona skill.
(07:40):
Though what the fuck?
You saying I got on a skillwith her and Just because I want
to know how much she weighedand I think my motherfucker,
like 85 pounds, like honey, issolid.
She's pretty much.
You know sense, this bill, thefuck is like a nigga on all
fours and around this bitch.
You know saying like came, nobitch, walk up on me with my dog
, can't nobody come up on me,nothing, that shit.
(08:02):
You know saying cuz I thinkI'll get down to a shit, real
hard, real ugly.
You know saying she got thatbig boy.
You know I'm saying you wouldhave thought there was a little
boy, grown-ass man, dog.
You know I'm saying like butthat's a lady, that's my honey.
Then he was like that's my baby, I love her down, don't fuck
with me, but I'm a one because Idon't want her.
All that fucking noise outsidemy door.
Take your little ass, is thefuck home.
(08:22):
And then I'm like it's a wins.
It's fucking Wednesday At 1 to 1in the afternoon, ain't you
little hole supposed to be atschool?
When I was in high school,motherfuckers wouldn't get out
to 225, but I know it's laternow because they be.
Keep y'all ass in there,because y'all know how to go
home and sit the fuck Down.
Y'all get outside and want toturn the fuck up, so they gots
(08:43):
to keep y'all in that schoolhouse a little longer.
I Couldn't believe all.
They asked my where the fuck it?
What?
What's going on?
It's a half a day.
What the hell y'all got goingon and why y'all just sitting
there?
You know what I'm saying.
It's a little rest aroundsomewhere.
I heard go go somewhere, go sitdown, just in the fucking way,
making all that damn nut.
(09:04):
Yeah, old woman.
So anyway, that wasn't in thestory time, that's just me
telling how I'm getting becomingold.
So I am in my grown woman era,my grown woman bag, and last
Sunday your girl went to churchfor the very first time.
Now I'm gonna go ahead and saythis now for context, and so you
(09:27):
guys know who I am.
I don't know if I ever saidthis on the podcast, but my mom
do.
She grew up Jehovah witness solike all her life they were like
practicing Jehovah witness.
So my grandma, my auntie, likeher whole side of him, like they
went to the Kingdom Hall,worship Jehovah.
Da, da, da, da da.
You know I don't really agreewith it.
(09:48):
You know I said, but you know,to each is learn.
You know I'm not gonna saywho's right, who's wrong.
You know who's who's really,who's ain't.
That, ain't my job.
But, um, so I've never been tochurch.
The closest thing I've come tochurch is going to the Kingdom
Hall.
And the Kingdom Hall wherepeople you know, where the
Jehovah Witnesses you know,worship, it is nothing.
It's Nothing like church.
(10:11):
Okay, it's like and we're gonnaget into it and then like the
only other time, because we, meand Deanna used to have a good
friend hey, friend I'm, oh, wejust have a friend and I don't
know her dad was like a deaconor pastor or something and they
would like go to other churchesand like talking stuff.
So like we had went over theirhouse one day and then they was
all like, oh, we got to go tothese visiting church and it was
(10:33):
only like an hour and a half toand it was like a real small
church, but it wasn't like itwasn't all of it.
You know, we just kind of satthere and listened, you know,
that was it, that was it.
But other than that, I havenever been to church.
I don't know what.
Go on, no, that I don't know,none of that.
The only the only closest timeI've come to church is TV,
that's it.
(10:53):
So I had a friend, you know, alittle high school friend, reach
out to me, was I like, hey,babe, I've been thinking about
you and I just wanted to know ifyou would like to go to church
with me on Saturday.
And I said, okay, fine, period,y'all go, cuz I, as a baby
walking Christian, been wantingto go for a little bit.
But I didn't know where churchto go to and I didn't want to go
by myself.
So I said, yeah, girl, I'll gowith you.
(11:13):
So you know, I guess my clotheson, I rush and hurry up, get to
get in the Uber because I'm alittle late.
I'm a little late, I don't seepeople, you know, and I didn't
like that.
I didn't want to be on coupleof times because you know I try
to be very prompt.
You know I'm very on time.
I hate to be late to anythingand so I get there.
You know I couldn't find achurch.
(11:33):
I'm taking some time to say,hey girl, like um, where were
you at?
Where you at Cuz?
I had told her the day beforecuz.
She had told me it was twodifferent services.
It was one at 10 am and therewas one at 11 30.
Now y'all, I've been working alot of nights, so not gonna lie
around 10 o'clock, 10 am, I'musually asleep.
So I said you know, I'll go tothe letter service.
I said I'll be there at 1130.
(11:55):
She said, ok, cool, I get there.
And she's like, oh, it was amiscommunication.
My bad, it was my fault, butthe 1130 service is actually on
Sunday.
I said, ok, cool.
She was like so do you want tocome back on Sunday?
Do you want to come backtomorrow?
I said, yeah, I'll come backtomorrow.
I have nothing else to do.
Ok, fast forward.
You know, because we ended uphanging out for the we hang out.
(12:17):
We ended up hanging outcatching up on the rest of that
Saturday.
Fast forward, it's Sunday.
She comes, picks me up.
She comes, picks me up.
We go to the church and youknow, when I went there the day
before, like she, she was like,do you want to, just, you know,
stay around and meet some people?
I said that's fine.
So I met, like the pastor, youknow, met some other people in
(12:38):
the congregation, you know, metsome of her friends, that's in
the church.
And then when I was there Ifound out that one of my like my
old high school, like coaches,like go to this church.
And it was so interestingbecause I was like I always used
to want to go to church becauseI knew she went, but I didn't
ever want to ask because I was ascary hoe.
So I was like you know, and I,you know it was very welcoming
(13:02):
to come in there, you know, andknow more than just one person
in the church, and the peoplewere really, really nice.
So, fast forward, it's Sunday.
So I'm like she's like my friend.
She's like they have like alittle cafe where they sell
snacks and donuts and stuff andcarvey before they'd have their
church service.
So she's doing that and youknow I didn't like is it called
(13:24):
a sanctuary?
Like I didn't like really wantto enter like the sanctuary,
like buy myself, like I wantedto wait for her.
So I waited for her until theygot done selling our snacks,
packing it up.
So by the time we actuallyenter it, they've already like
started like singing a song andlike talking and so like the
seats are all kind of likefilled up so it's like two seats
(13:46):
, like when you first walk in,like on the end, so we just sit
there on the end.
So we're sitting there and allof a sudden everybody just
starts.
Everybody's already standing up.
I mean, everybody's alreadystanding up.
Now, church supposed to startat 1130.
When we got there, we got thereearly, but church started at
(14:13):
1130.
Y'all, it was club Jesus forlike 30, 45 minutes, no bullshit
.
They praising the Lord, theyjumping up and down, they
singing this song, and the songand whatever song they singing
is one of them.
Good, them, good blackChristian.
(14:34):
You know, you know feel goodsongs.
Like it's moving everybody inthe room.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm like, damn, they singing thehell out this song.
I really wish that I could singit with them because you know
it's kind of lit in this mug.
I want to sing the song, but Idon't know the words.
And so then I looked up, theyhad a TV up there.
They had a TV up there with thelyrics.
I said, okay, then I'm gonnaread the lyrics.
(14:56):
So next time I'm gonna catchyou, I'm gonna, you know, I'm
gonna jump in.
So I'm gonna get you know, I'mgonna jump in.
Right, I'm gonna jump in thesong.
Like, okay, here it comes, youknow, cause it had quiet down.
Like you know, it wasn't awords at that part.
So I'm like, when they werestarted back up, I'm gonna jump
in.
They started singing and thelyrics on the screen wasn't
(15:17):
matching what they had just saidand I said, damn, I can't sing
a song.
So, like you know and I'm notafraid to say what the fuck are
you saying I'm not afraid to say, like I'm not one of those
black people with like a lot ofread them, like I'm just not
that girl.
Like you know, I very much sogive you know, drunk baby.
(15:37):
Or you know, a little whitewoman sometimes when I be
dancing, you know, no offense tothe white women, but you know,
sometimes y'all be having themoves and it's no, it's no Tino
shape, because I don't be havingthe moves you know.
So everybody in there I don'tknow how to you know groove to
the motherfucking song because Idon't dance.
You know what I'm saying.
I don't dance and like I don'tknow if I mean, you know it's
(15:57):
giving swag, surfing that bitch,I ain't gonna hold you, it's
it's, it's the vibe, like theyturn the fuck up in that bitch,
and I'm like, damn, you knowwhat I'm saying.
So I'm just shaking my head ofshit, you know, motherfucking,
like somebody's in a, like I'mfinna, jump in the game of
double digits.
Like you know, I'm waiting formy turn, I'm waiting to get in
(16:19):
that motherfucker.
So I'm like all right.
So I'm like you know I'm lookingand I'm also looking at
everybody in here, like tryingto see, like you know, how
everybody's like reacting, likehow everybody's like you know,
you know like I'm I'm peoplewatching, I'm observing everyone
, how everybody else is takingit all in and, like I said, they
lit for like 30, 45 minutes andso, like the song was extra
(16:43):
long, the song was extra long,and so then the pastor gets up
there and he starts talking andso, excuse me, the pastor gets
up there and he starts talkingand he says you know, he already
been up here talking for alittle bit, but it's kind of
like it wasn't like like he wasdelivering the word, he was just
(17:04):
all like just saying how God,how good God is.
That's what they was talkingabout.
God is good, this, this andthat you know saying this and
that you know I miss with it,you know.
And so he, he has themicrophone.
He talking about oh, god is sogood, I'm gonna pass the mic on
in 60 seconds.
I want you to tell me how goodGod is.
I want you to tell me how goodGod is.
So he passes the mic to thisother man.
(17:28):
The man gets the mic and hesays no, no, no bullshit, no
bullshit.
He says and I ain't trying toand if you would say, I watch
this, this is not to offend you,this is just my POV from this
experience Okay, he gets the micand he says excuse me, excuse
me, it's not funny.
(17:48):
It's not funny.
Y'all, be for real, be fuckingfor real.
He gets the mic and he says Godis so good job, because and I
don't want to get the detailswrong, but it has been a couple
of days, but I kind of rememberit going something like this
Okay, three, two, one go.
He's like God is so good job.
You know, my pastor not mypastor but my sister was in a
real bad accident and she was ina coma for a couple of months
(18:12):
and the doctors was saying shedidn't have no brain activity.
They wasn't saying that she wasbrain dead, but she just didn't
have no activity.
And I just been really stressedout about it.
And you know, just the otherday, just yesterday, I got a
phone call and my sister saidbrother, I'm still here.
Y'all.
When I heard that, and not tosay God is in good, not to say
(18:36):
that God is in real and that hecannot do miracles, because for
sure it was a miracle, godblessed that family, like I love
that.
You know his sister was able towake up, call her brother and
say, baby, I'm still here.
I liked that, I messed withthat.
But from my POV, from my pointof view, it gave no and no
(18:56):
offense.
It gave infomercial, you know,like how you go to sleep and you
know when you was a kid youwake up and be on the church
channel and they be like this iswhat God has done for me this,
this, and it almost didn't seemreal.
And not to say them people islying, because I don't think
they lying, but it just was likeI never seen nothing like that
(19:18):
in my life.
You know what I'm saying Forsomebody to get them, because it
was just, it was the wholething was just.
I'm not one, I don't want touse the word weird, it just was
different.
You know, for the pastor to beup there, you know, praise God,
talking about God, he's sayingthe next 60 seconds, I want you
to tell me how God, how good Godis, go and then you know he get
the mic and he telling them andeverybody in the you know.
(19:38):
And once he tells the story,when the system, you know, woke
up the church, when the churchwent a shit, they, you know I'm
saying they going crazy.
And I'm like you know what I'msaying, cuz I'm just like what's
going on?
Like you know, like you knowwhat's going on.
But what's going on in thismotherfucking light, you know
that's lit, you know, shout outto all.
(19:59):
I'm glad she doing, all right,but like it's, it's crazy, it's
crazy.
I'm like this is real, likewhat's going on, like that man,
that man Does miracles.
You hear me he be doingmiracles.
I'm just like, oh okay.
And so then, like People werereally starting to feel that,
(20:24):
like they were really feelingthem like, and so my friend said
that it is called bucking.
I had no idea that that's whatis called.
You.
When people catch the HolyGhost and the Holy Spirit and
they be jumping up and down andyou know, shaking, they had like
a vicious dog with rabies, likebecause that's how I look,
y'all, you, those that do that,it don't look good.
(20:47):
And so, like I said, I'msitting on the end, like my
friend is sitting on the leftside, I'm sitting on the right,
so I'm technically in it on theinside, but I'm basically on the
end.
But she, she had got up and shestood behind me because you
know she likes to stand whileshe in church, because you,
she's in show, I'm reluctant tosit.
So she's standing up behind me,but I didn't know where she was
(21:09):
at this point.
And so I see this guy, this, youknow this little yellow man
with locks, he get up and I seethat you know he, he really
feeling you know the Holy Spirit, you know he's, he's jumping up
and down, he's shaking his headand shit.
I said okay, okay, and so likehe was doing it in his seat and
keep in mind, this is a very,very small church and these,
(21:31):
this, this church doesn't havepews like these aren't pews,
these are chairs.
They have chairs lined up inhere.
And so he steps, he like hecomes from out of the aisle and
he starts doing it like really,really, really hard and so like
and he's not the only one doingit, it's like him and like five
(21:52):
other people that's doing thatin the church.
And it's like when you see itkind of look like mini tornadoes
going on, and I'm like I'mtrying to keep, you know, my
eyes.
Now I don't want to study thesepeople down, but I'm trying to
see, like, what's going on withthem and so, like the little
light skinned man, a littleyellow man, he starts going
Crazy, like he start going extra, extra hard, jumping up and
(22:15):
down, shaking his head, shakinghis arms real, real hard.
And apparently I didn't knowthis that when people do stuff
like that, like it'd be othermembers in the church or they
peoples that like kind of holdthem or like try to guide them
to like, you know, not to hurtthemselves or other people.
He was going so Motherfuckinghard that he fell into the
(22:39):
chairs and almost fell into mymotherfucking lap.
I Was scared than themotherfucker for the rest of the
service because every time thatlittle yellow motherfucker got
up I didn't know what was gonnahappen.
I Said what the fuck?
(23:00):
I said where am I?
Where my friend got me at,where is we at?
What's going on?
What's going on?
Why is he jumping around likethat?
Why is he falling into church?
He ain't just falling to oneturn, he fell into like a group
of church.
They all got pushed around.
Like I said, he almost fell inmy lap, my lap, y'all, my
(23:21):
motherfucking lap.
So I'm scared like amotherfucker because I'm just
like what's wrong with him, likewhat is?
What is he doing?
Is he okay?
Like it's often the call to himlast, like cuz.
Like I said, I've never seenanybody even catch that mug like
that and Then like to see itfood like, and they going hard
(23:42):
like that.
That's some scary shit theydon't need.
They need to tell you that.
They need to tell you thatbefore you walk up in there.
I did not know that they getsdown like that.
I had no idea.
So Okay, so you know, like youknow he, you know they get him
together like two, two people,you know, grab him up and you
know he's still going hard.
(24:03):
You know he's still going hard.
I'm like like I'm trying to andI'm just sitting in my seat
like trying to figure out, likeDo I need to move?
Or like you know what's goingon and I'm not like I ain't
trying to get hit.
But you know, I mean I guess ifit's in the name of Jesus it's
cool, but I still don't want toget hit.
You know what I mean, cuz I'mjust like hold on, hold on we,
(24:27):
that it has stressed me outbecause I didn't know that they
get.
He was turned up like he wasreally from Augusta and I'm and
you know, I'm glad that he wasable to feel it the way that he
felt it.
But you know I want you to feelit and not Falling to people.
I don't want you to feel it.
You know you hurt yourself andothers.
I just need everybody to beconscious of what's going on,
(24:51):
who around them and what'saround them cuz shit.
And so, like I said, they alsohad like a guest speaker, guest
preacher, come up.
So you know the regular pastor.
You know he didn't do his.
You know what he usually doesand so you know the guest got.
The guest got up there and hegave us the word and you know
(25:13):
that was my favorite part of it.
You know I'm like I told myfriend.
I said once I learned the wordsto the song, like that might be
cool.
I don't like all that bucking,I don't like all of that.
So now next time I know whereto sit, you know, close to a
wall where ain't a whole lot ofspace for you to be doing all
that.
You know, not on the end,probably on the inside, like far
(25:33):
on the inside, close to thewall, like I said, like where
you can't be doing all thatmoving.
Um, and yeah, I said, and thenlike one thing that I didn't
know the whole time when I wasin church is what to do with my
hands, because there's a lot ofthings that you can do with your
hands.
Like they be waving or they belike go ahead, go ahead, like
(25:56):
you know waving, or they they'llsway that mug.
You know that's where the mothback and forth.
Like they waving goodbye orthey'll.
He said when he said open yourhands up and receive God's
goodness.
You know that's not exactlywhat he said, but it's something
along those lines, you know.
So I'm just like okay, so howdo I hope?
How do I open my hands up?
(26:16):
How do I receive God's love?
You know what I'm saying.
Is it like this, where it'slike you know they facing each
other?
Or is it like this Like Ididn't know what to do with my
hands, the whole service?
So I'm like watching everybodytrying to see what they're doing
with their hands.
Because I'm like you know whatI'm saying, cause I don't want
to look like I'm not engaged,cause I am.
I mean, I don't really care,but I kind of just I want to
(26:38):
look like I belong.
You know what I'm saying, causeI'm feeling like I don't belong
and I'm feeling outside-ish,I'm feeling a little excluded,
cause I don't, cause y'all knowwhat's going on in here and I
don't.
So I'm trying to, like you know, look like I know what the hell
is going on and I'm moving myhands and sh I didn't know what
to do.
I didn't know what to do withmy hands.
(27:00):
So I'm just like, okay, okay, Ididn't know.
I was like and I'm like I askedmy friend when we got in the
car, when we left, I said whatdo you do with your hands?
Like I don't.
I'm trying to and I'm trying todo every little bit of
everything to see what feelsright to me, but it just was
like it, just it just wasn't me.
(27:20):
You know what I mean.
And then, like you know, it's alot of and black churches.
I, you know I'm going to sayblack churches, cause I ain't
never been in a white church, soI can't even say that but it
just seemed like it's a lot ofup and down.
Y'all stand up, y'all stand up,y'all sit down, y'all sit down.
Let me tell you something Iain't feeling to be, you know,
doing jumping jacks in thatchurch.
Y'all excuse me, I'm not.
(27:41):
I'm not going to do it the nexttime I go.
I'm sitting in the corner andI'm sitting.
I'm not feeling to be doing allthat up and down.
That's how you get high.
I don't have no fan.
And then a whole bunch ofpeople had fans in there.
See, I didn't know, I didn'tknow, I didn't prepare no fan.
It is hot in here.
Everybody jumping up and down,doing, you know doing a whole
(28:02):
lot of stuff.
You know making a room hidingshit, you know, and I'm gonna
have no fan.
So I'm not like, I'm not feelingto be up and down, up and down,
up and down.
You know I love God and I loveJesus.
You know they're my road dogsfor sure.
They know how I feel about themand they know I know how they
feel about me.
But I'm not feeling to get upin there and not act like me.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not feeling.
That wasn't.
You know.
I'm not feeling to act like youknow, not myself.
(28:23):
So next time I go I'm going tojust sit there and if I want to
stand up, I'm going to stand up.
But if you tell me to stand upand I don't feel like standing
up, I'm not going to do it.
Not going to do it.
I'm not going to be doing theup and down in this month.
I'm not going to be doing upand down in here.
(28:44):
Yeah, then, like um, the people,the.
And then it was another.
It was another lady, she,because she was really feeling
what the pastor was saying, toget speaker, to get speaker, was
saying, and she got up andstarted bucking and she was a
bigger woman.
I say y'all better grab them,y'all better grab them, y'all
(29:07):
better grab them, because Iain't going down like that, we
ain't, I'm not going out likethat, we're not doing that.
And so you know, um, it startedat 1130.
I didn't leave that church tilllike 240.
It was a very long service andthen, even after service, like I
still had to wait, becauseafter the end of the service
(29:28):
they sales next again and I waswaiting for my friend, so we
didn't lead to like 240 ish orsomething.
You know, like I said, and soshe was all like you know, how
do you feel?
Like you know, you don't haveto lie to me, you can tell me
exactly how you feel, dog, howyou feel about it.
And I said, well, I didn't likeAll that jumping around, I
didn't like all of it up anddown, but I like the word, what
(29:48):
he actually had to say about Godand Jesus and how you should,
you know, live your life.
I messed with it, I felt withit.
That's what I'm actually herefor.
I'm really not here foreverything else.
I don't want everything.
That's why, if I go, I'm notgonna people, I'm not gonna
participate in all that otherstuff.
I'm here for the word.
I don't want to know how thatmakes me feel.
I want to apply that to my life.
(30:08):
I'm not feeling me doing allthis stuff.
I'm not doing it.
And she was okay.
I feel it because she was like,and she was telling me like
when she first started going tochurch.
It was an adjustment for hertoo and I didn't understand when
she had said that yesterday.
But I understand now becauseit's one thing to worship God
and Jesus privately in your ownhome and how you do it, but then
(30:29):
when you go to church,everybody Praises and worship
God outwardly.
So you like, and not just alittle peep, didn't have no cool
to the corn, but that's whatit'd be feeling like, just a
little bit.
No, where's your cool to thecorn?
But whole time is you, you know, you the one, you know they
come here and they do this everySunday.
(30:49):
You know this.
What they do, this is not whatyou do.
So, yeah, what the church, youknow I enjoyed it, despite what
one may think.
I enjoyed the word that and I'mgonna be very clear on that.
I enjoyed the word.
I would go back.
Like I said, the people arevery nice.
They were very welcome in Umand I want to go back to hear
the regular pastor that you knowwhose church it is talk.
(31:12):
I wanted her him talk, you know, because, like I said, I went
in there was a guest speaker.
So yeah, that was my experience.
Like you know, I am a Christiangirlie, you know I try to live
my life right and people weretelling me, like you, it sound
like you was a good old Baptistchurch.
And you know, my friend wastelling me look, I'm not
finished, I'm not finna, breakdown each one of these names.
(31:33):
I don't know all of them, Idon't know it is Baptist Dennis
mow or this, a moment in someother ones.
A whole bunch of group ofChristians basically.
And she was a saying this isn'tjust like a Baptist church,
it's like different types ofChristians in this one church.
That's why everybody don't bedoing all it.
And I said, okay, that makessense, and In my, my car, but
(31:56):
it's like, yeah, that justsounds like a regular Baptist
church.
They do that a lot of Baptistchurches.
And I said I don't know, Ididn't know they did all of that
.
But yeah, that was myexperience.
You know she was, she was a keykey.
She was very different.
They also had like a sixo'clock service somewhere else,
I said, no, I ain't gonna beable to make that one, because I
got to take this one in.
(32:16):
I Gotta take this one in, okay,yo, my computer is dying so I'm
gonna have to see this one up,hey, okay.
So For my wise words segment,the song of the week is spin
that back by 42 Doug.
Let me tell you something.
I think I said it last week,but I don't remember ETSG and 42
(32:37):
Doug has been getting methrough in the gym.
You know, I have not been inthe gym all these week, my your
business.
I Been going through some times.
But anyway, it's somethingabout spin that back by 42 Doug.
It make me.
It make me want to go get allthe money in the world, all the
money, and go to the Jewishstore, go to the Jewel and be
(32:58):
ice, though Fuck out Like itmakes me want to take a little
van, put all my people's in itand we're going to go get us
some change.
You know I'm saying Cubans andshit.
And the thing is I don't evenknow why it make me feel like
that, because I only I don't tome if I had a whole bunch of
money and I was finna go buysome jewelry.
Now this could be.
This also could change withtime, but I'm not a Cuban girl.
(33:19):
It gives tennis.
I'm a tennis girl, you know.
I'm saying a little good tennisbracelet, you know, tennis
necklace.
That's what it gives, that's.
It ain't never gave big chunkylike name Cuban, like Like maybe
what I?
You know, I don't want to saythat I won't get it, but I kind
of feel like I won't get thatbecause you know that's not for
me, that's not me.
But yeah, that's all make mewant to go in the jewelry and
(33:41):
drop a bag in the Jewish store.
That's how I feel.
So y'all need to go listen to it.
Spin that back by 42.
Doug is a great little Bob andI love you.
I love 42.
I'm starting to like him.
He sounds different.
Yeah, daddy, let me stopplaying with y'all.
But all right, y'all.
I want to thank y'all forlistening.
If you are on listeningplatforms, please make sure that
(34:03):
you rate the podcast and leavea review if you're watching,
like, comment and subscribe.
Click the notification bell soyou know when we upload around
here y'all, and y'all tell me inthe comments If y'all had a
similar church experience.
What's our favorite part ofchurch?
Something.
Drop some church emojis orsomething I don't know.
Put something down there.
(34:24):
Let's talk about it.
And make sure y'all share me inyour group chats.
It has to be three or more.
What I say to a more than a nogroup chat.
Don't be gatekeeping me now.
We got some new subscribers.
Shout out to the newsubscribers I hope that y'all
stick and stay around.
Love y'all.
Y'all my new baby jokers, y'allmy new babies.
And I love you.
(34:45):
Go and watch from episode one.
Catch up and see where the manis.
You know I feel like thispodcast shows a lot of Evolving
in my life.
You know I've changed thiswoman.
You know I'm not as recklesslike I used to be.
You know I still talk a littlecrazy, but I don't be.
You know I've changed in thepast two years.
I'm growing and I'm growing up,guys.
(35:06):
But anyway, I Want to thanky'all for listening, I want to
thank y'all for watching and I'mjust trying to change the world
, one joke at a time.