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December 29, 2023 110 mins

We've been talking about this movie since we started the podcast and now we finally did it!

Unfortunately, this film's John Constantine is from LA. Mercifully, that means Keanu doesn't have to do a British accent. Not that he can't do it. I mean, forsooth, we all remember Bram Stoker's Dracula, do we not? Instead, this time we leave it to Rachel Weisz to do an accent which basically just equates to "Americans talk low and mumble, right?". Hey, did she teach Benedict Cumberbatch? That's definitely a Greenwich Village accent, right?

But just like The Prophecy, nothing that happens in this movie really matters until Gabriel and Satan show up! Tilda Swinton's Gabriel is The Angel of Gender and Stormare's Satan is really just having the time of his life for the whole five minutes he's in the movie. This is how you become THE DEVIL.

Oh and for some reason Shia LeBeouf is here. Why? Unclear. Ask again later.

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