July 13, 2023 • 30 mins
Massively Increase Your Net Operating Income™ with The TCO Method™
Andy discusses current internet business clichés - the value of your network - or the lack thereof - and how you "become the five people you spend the most time with" and what the costs and challenges of that really are, why it's necessary and how it can help steer your success and the money you make and keep by bringing the people in your network onto your team...if they are the right fit.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Music]
(00:24):
Welcome to the TCO Method, the only show focused on helping you massively increase your
net operating income. I am Andy McQuade and thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
of the podcast. The last couple episodes we talked about budgets, planning, insanity,
all right, not insanity, but it can feel like it sometimes. What I want to talk about today is
(00:47):
a shift back to something that we talked about a couple weeks ago that can impact your NOI if you use it,
right? We did a couple episodes on who's on your team, how much is your time worth, all
that other fun stuff. This one I want to talk about just because it can increase your NOI,
(01:08):
because of the people you're going to put on your team. But there's a component missing from a
lot of people's planning and execution on this piece of the puzzle that we need to discuss.
So there's the saying in real estate that you see every day where your network is your net worth.
(01:31):
Yes and no. Your network can be your net worth if your network doesn't suck.
Quite frankly, well what do you mean? My network doesn't suck, I know
6000 people. Okay, do you really know 6000 people or do 6000 people really know you for one?
(01:54):
Because it's not the quantity, it's the quality. And there's another thing I see
paraded, literally paraded with no actual understanding of the meaning online all the time. And
that's you're going to become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
(02:16):
Okay, I believe that. Sure. But it's not necessarily talking about work by itself specifically,
not your business network. It's talking about your personal life. So there's two things I want
to talk about today. This whole your network is your net worth and how people don't actually understand
(02:41):
what that means, but they paraded religiously. And the whole you're going to become the five people
you spend the most time with. Because people seem to have a really hard time with understanding exactly
what kind of sacrifice that takes to make happen. There's people who will swear that your network is
your net worth. But they're really bad at actually doing what it takes to use their network to influence
(03:10):
their net worth. There's two things that happen. There's the human tendency because we're basically
machines. We're programmed, right? What we take into our brains and what we absorb through people
we hang out with and what we allow to influence our minds impacts how we think and then it impacts
(03:33):
how we perform. There's people with massive networks that say they have hundreds and hundreds of
friends that say they have thousands of people in their network, but really it's just an email
list or a phone number list. And when they need something that they think someone on that list
(03:55):
can help with, they'll call them, but they don't actually do anything for anyone to pay that forward,
pay that back. So it's not really your network is your net worth for a lot of these people, a lot of
these people look at their network as a resource to take, right? I call them takers. There's takers and
(04:23):
makers. I call them takers because all they do is take and there's different times in your life
when you're going to be a taker because of things that are going on and that's okay. This is not
a psychology show. What I'm going to say is the network is your net worth people need to actually
(04:45):
understand how that network works, how it functions, why they're there. Like if you're the person who shows up
once every three or four get together and you trade phone numbers but you never follow up,
(05:08):
never make any phone calls, you don't send an email saying, "Hey, it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah."
Where's the incentive for that person to remember you? Like you need that hook after the event because
there's probably dozens or hundreds of people at these events and you're shaking hands and kissing
babies and meeting a lot of faces and you're not going to remember all of them, but you will remember
(05:33):
the ones who take the extra step to reach out. Thanks for the time. I appreciate it at blah, blah, blah.
Now, not trying to tell you how to live your life, but the reality of networking in general,
whether you're part of a networking group or you just go to events or regular meetups or whatever
is everybody in that room, everybody has a reason to be there. Nobody goes to any type of anything
(06:04):
involving networking, work functions. You name it without a whiffam. A whiffam is a what's in it for me.
Like they can show up and say, "Oh, I'm just here to add value, but you're not." Because if you were
(06:25):
just there to add value and you weren't going to get anything from it, free has no value. So you can't
add value if there's no skin in the game for you. You're going because you want to expand your network.
You're going because, or they're going because they want to find people that they can do business with
or that they can work with or that they like personally that they can hang out with.
(06:49):
We'll get to that later on the five people you spend the most time with are going to be who you
become and how successful you are. Your network is going to be exactly like a job in corporate
America or day-to-day life in your neighborhood. There's going to be a couple percent are going
(07:11):
to be really high performers that got to going on and are genuinely there because they see value for
themselves and they like to build a two-way relationship where they can give some value to somebody.
Then you're going to have the 10 to 15 percent of the above average performers who are hot and cold,
(07:37):
but making moves in the right direction. Then you're going to have another maybe 10 or 15 percent
of, eh, and then the bottom 50 percent are there because they're takers.
They don't want to do the work. They want somebody to carry them across the finish line. They don't
want to learn. They want to know somebody who does something so that they can copy them
(08:00):
or get in with them and have them drag them across the finish line.
No one is going to drag you across the finish line. No one good.
The top performers are there because they realize the work it takes to get there
and they also know how to identify somebody who's a taker. And they're just not going to drag you
(08:25):
across the finish line. I'm sorry. And that's true in your personal life also. So we're going to
rewind back and stop talking about personal stuff and keep this on a networking group for another
couple of minutes. If you're going, there's a ton of these masterminds which by the way a mastermind
is like four to six people, all peers, all helping each other succeed, sometimes run,
(08:49):
by somebody who needs that but is good at organizing. So that's a mastermind. If you're in a room
with three hundred and fifty or four hundred people or even two dozen people and there's somebody
running it, that's a seminar. Or a master class maybe. But that's the same thing as a seminar with
a different name. So let's get that out of the way right away. There's no such thing as a mastermind
(09:17):
where there's somebody running the show and telling people what to do who's not also participating
actively in it and paying the same amount of money into it as everybody else. Those are seminars and
coaching and individual people making money. The end. The networking people who go every single time
(09:38):
and help run those shows. There's a whole bunch of people out there telling people to go out and
start a group, start to get together, start a meetup. It does take work, it does take effort. You are
sort of giving back because you're creating opportunities for people to get together in network.
And the whiffam is that you're building your brand, your authority to do that. Sometimes it works out,
(10:03):
sometimes it doesn't. There's a lot of groups out there doing especially in real estate. God knows
half the real estate groups out there are gurus doing a local meetup so that they can sell
coaching, which while there is a need for in some cases and there is value to the $30,000 a year
(10:23):
coaching, $40,000 a year coaching programs. The reality of it is that most of the people,
and I'm not kidding when I say most, it's like 93% of the people who go through those programs
never get to the point where they're successful in the things they're taking to program for.
(10:45):
You need to be good when you're doing networking at being present,
not just looking out for yourself, right? Don't just look out for number one,
which you need me making genuine connections with people that are doing something that you want to do.
(11:10):
Being in networking groups for as long as I have, I see people come and go. It's like January comes,
they made their New Year's resolutions, they're going to get out and do all these cool things and
do all this stuff, kind of like dieting. And then they realize it's actually hard work to make your
networking pay off. It's even harder when all you are is a take and they don't get value out of it.
(11:38):
Well, here's the trick to networking, everybody. You get out of it, what you put into it.
So if you give and you network genuinely and you're trying to build your brand,
you're trying to find potential prospects, but you're also helping other people,
(12:02):
there's a whiff them for you. And then there's a give for other people either by sharing education,
sharing experience, sharing stories, introducing people that you know to other people you think
would be useful in their network, helping to run the show if you're into volunteering and helping
to run an organization. Those are all things that can help you with that, but you can't be the one
(12:29):
person show and just be a taker. Right, there's got to be two ways. Well, if I start my own group,
then I'm not a taker. Well, you kind of are because it's your group, right? I guess one thing to start
in non-profit with a board of directors and a bunch of officers and have them run the organization
and everybody volunteers their time versus this is the Tommy show and everybody's going to show up
(12:50):
and hang out with Tommy because Tommy's awesome and he's got all this stuff going on and it's great.
I want to hang out with the five people that are going to make me more successful.
No one's going to make you more successful. You have to do that. You get out what you put in.
Transitioning over to the sacrifice I alluded to in your five people you spend the most time with
(13:19):
being who you become. There's truth to it, but it's not what you think.
The most successful people out there constantly, consistently, cross all of them will tell you
that the hardest thing about being successful is that you have to leave people behind.
(13:45):
There are people in your life that you can love that you can care about
that you can want to spend time with genuinely.
But when you take an objective look at it again from 10,000 feet, be neutral. Take a part in look at it.
(14:06):
You need to do it objectively meaning no emotional color. No reminiscing on time's past.
When you look at the people you're hanging out with in your personal life, not just in your
networking events, but who you are spending your time with. What their attitudes are, what their beliefs
are, what their work ethic is, how they treat their families, how they treat their friends,
(14:30):
how they treat themselves. You have to look at it without any, "Oh, that's just Bob and Bob's just
like that." Or, "Ah, Suzie, Suzie's okay, she's just a little confused sometimes and it's fine."
You, the human being listening to this right now, are a machine.
(14:53):
Humans can be programmed. Yes, we're individuals, yes, we all have our own experiences,
those experiences shape our decision-making process and blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm not going
to get into the psychology of it, but needless to say, you are just like a computer. You are garbage
in, garbage out. Surround yourself with garbage and you will be garbage. Your product that you
(15:17):
produce will be garbage. Surround yourself with people who excel in our high performers.
You will do that as well. Now, the problem comes in with when people can't
separate the garbage from the success. You can't drag people across the finish line.
(15:38):
Just because you like somebody doesn't mean you're beholden because of your past relationship
to also make them successful. You need to worry about the things that drive you, that give you
fulfillment that make you whole. And I'm not saying not to help people who are less fortunate,
(16:03):
I'm not saying not to spend time occasionally with people who need your counsel and need your
ear that you grew up with that want to hear from you, that respect your opinion.
But you cannot change someone who doesn't want to make the effort to change themselves.
(16:24):
You cannot pull people with you into success. People have to work for it and earn it on their own.
And if you're listening to this and you believe that that's the only way capitalism exists
and the only way things work, nepotism and rich people dragging who they want up the chain with them,
(16:49):
yeah that happens sometimes. But for the vast majority of entrepreneurs and small business owners
that is not the case, they scrimped and saved and sacrificed and made their decisions based on
how they're going to operate and do things down the road because they had some drive, some passion,
some fire that determined how their life was going to play out. And they had the grit to stick with
(17:18):
it when times got tough. The average small business owner holds within four years of opening their
business by year seven, it's like 70% and by 10 years it's like 90%. Again, there's some in your
(17:39):
business versus on your business, there's not being able to identify and build a good team,
there's vetting issues, there's planning issues, there's all sorts of stuff because typically
your entrepreneur, your small business owner is doing what they do because they're good at a technical
(17:59):
skill or they enjoy something. It does not always make them a good business owner or a good CEO,
CFO, COO type of person, they need people on their team who can help them with that. So your networking
being your net worth ties in directly because in your networking you should be finding people
(18:22):
that you want to have on your team that can do the things that you're not good at that can help you
with things that you need help with because you don't want to be that 90% of businesses that
fold in 10 years. That's not a goal, I think anybody strives for while they're laying in bed at two
in the morning wondering what their future holds. But when you surround yourself with the five people
(18:52):
that you want to be like, you need to make sure they're actually who you want to be like.
What does their family look like? What are their friendships look like? What kind of foundation are
those built on? Are they built on hardying and getting high and blowing money left and right? Are
(19:17):
those the people you want to hang out with that you think are successful? Or are those the people
you probably want to avoid because they're unpredictable? When you're choosing who you're going to have
on your team, the five people you spend the most time with are part of that conversation.
(19:39):
Your network is your net worth only if you actually know how to use it correctly. You get out what
you put in. The five people you spend the most time with are the most important because if you don't
respect certain life choices and certain decisions, why would you want to surround yourself with
(20:00):
somebody who's going to influence you to do that? Garbage out. You surround yourself with things
and people that you enjoy that will make you better, not that will drag you down. And that means
that you have to leave people behind and that's the worst part about figuring out a path and walking
(20:28):
that path to take care of your family, take care of your mental well-being is that you're going to leave
people behind. And you can't avoid it. It's going to happen. You can love people in your family
and not want to emulate them. You have to be discerning and you have to judge or yourself.
(20:55):
It doesn't mean you have to hurt people's feelings, call them names, point fingers,
but you have to be able to discern who's going to add value to your life. You want to hang out with
people who are blowing coke up their nose every Friday to relax from their work week.
(21:17):
Or do you want to work with people and spend your time with people who are a little bit more
discerning and that maybe do yoga or exercise or whatever to cope? You have to be judgy.
It's your life, it's your success, it's your future, it's your family's success and future.
(21:42):
And you should treat it like that. Actions, decisions, they all have consequences. Inaction has
consequences. Choosing not to go to that networking meeting because you're having a bad day,
if there's no fire that needs to be put out immediately, go to the networking meeting, you'll
probably feel better for it afterwards. But only if you're not there to be a taker. Makers and
(22:08):
takers, you have to focus on being a maker and it's going to take sacrifice. You're not going
to reach your goals without having to make decisions to walk away from things you enjoy
that you like spending time on. I love video games, love them. I have to work a lot. I don't have time
(22:32):
for them. So now I live vicariously through my 10 year old. I watch him play sometimes. I will walk
through the living room and he'll be playing the new Zelda game. And I think it's the coolest thing
ever because it's like Minecraft meets Zelda and I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. So I'll sit
there and I'll watch for like 10 minutes while I'm getting a drink from the sink, eating my lunch,
whatever. Don't take these things lightly. There are people in your life and your family
(22:58):
that you care about that you're just going to have to leave behind. And they're going to look at you,
some of them are going to celebrate your success. But the people who aren't are going to
cost you and you need to make sure that you are to a point where you can separate yourself from that
because those are the people who are going to hold you back. The same ones who are going to tear
(23:21):
down your success and not celebrate with you the ones who are going to be jealous and envious are
the ones who want you to drag them across the finish line. They're going to be the ones who
expect stuff from you because now you're successful and you have money. They're going to be the ones
who are telling you you can't do that. You're crazy. Don't do that. Just work your W2 until you retire.
(23:46):
It's the same thing in how you choose who you hire to run your operations. You get 50% of scrubs
and then some middle of the road people that are okay that are decent to get the job done.
And then you've got high performers that lighten on fire all the time and want more.
And when you look at from 10,000 feet objectively how those people live their lives and choose to
(24:13):
spend their time inside of work and outside of work. You start to see patterns of people who
are successful and are not. So this show is about massively increasing your net operating income
but also how to help you increase the money you keep. And as a business owner, as a business leader,
(24:35):
as an operator, as a functional, functional leader of any type of team, you need to be focused on
making sure that the decisions you make, the company you keep reflects who you want to be seen as
and where you want to go. In any event, you, if you want to build a successful team and attract
(25:02):
successful business partners, you need to start making decisions on where you're going to be
and not worry about dragging people across the finish line. You cannot create success in someone
else. You can only walk the path that you see for yourself in front of you for the best of your
(25:23):
ability. And if people choose to do the work to follow you, then so be it. If they get left behind
then that's on them, not on you and you have to let that go. It is a lonely road.
Now that I've depressed everybody on this wonderful Thursday, I'm kind of wrap up the show,
(25:46):
but I want to make sure that everybody knows they should be out doing networking events,
doing personal development of some kind. Reading books doesn't have to be a business
book. If you want to build your vocabulary and become better at language and communication,
(26:08):
you know what the billionaires of the world tell you to do? Read fiction. It doesn't matter what
kind. Just read, read fiction, read fantasy, sci-fi, read, howm-clancy novels. Like it doesn't have to be
something heavy all the time, but you get more out of reading a fiction book.
(26:31):
From a vocabulary and communication standpoint, then you do from reading all these books on
this shelf behind me. Let's be real. They're all business books. All of the stuff behind me is
strategy and operations and understanding yourself and leadership stuff and development and
yeah, there's a lot of crap back there, but get better at what you're trying to do. Keep growing,
(26:55):
keep moving forward. Don't let people that you spend your time with drag you down.
Look at where they are and determine if that's where you want to be. Look at how they live their
lives. There's plenty of rich people out there who make a ton of money that are absolute shitbirds.
They are scum of the earth and I would not want to emulate them in any way no matter how much money
(27:19):
they had. You need to be discerning. You need to be judgy. This is your life, your success, your
career, your business, your families, well-being, your generational wealth
and your kids are going to exist in the example that you set.
Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad and it takes them 20 years to figure out,
(27:46):
hey, this is not actually okay. Everybody has a path to walk and everybody has decisions to make
and you just need to do it. And if people get left behind you can't feel bad about that. That's not
on you. You need to take care of yourself and your family above all else and not apologize.
(28:10):
You also can't allow those people who drag you down to continue to do that. You need to find a
way to separate yourself from the losers. Podcast@tco-method.com. Give me whatever feedback you got.
Please, if you're watching on YouTube, subscribe, bring that bell. If you're listening on one of the
(28:34):
every single platform that this podcast is published on, please subscribe, leave a comment,
leave a review. Five stars would be great. Four stars is okay. Three stars. I'd rather have you
send me an email and tell me I'm stupid. But if you want to leave me three stars, do that too. I want
you to be honest. I'm just not going to be happy about it if I get one, two or three stars. I set
(28:56):
a lot of things in this particular podcast. It's probably going to make a lot of people angry. So
that's life, man. It is what it is. Thank you for listening. I want you to have a great weekend.
Go do real estate. Go to a networking event. Make some friends, shake some hands, kiss some babies,
give value back. Don't be a taker. Be a maker. Your network is your net worth only if you know how to use it.
(29:19):
And the five people use around yourself, you become, but only if you're willing to do the work.
If they're dragging you with them, it's not going to go well and it's not going to last.
And if you're dragging somebody with you, you need to cut the cord.
See you next time.
(29:49):
[Music]
[Music]
(00:24):
Welcome to the TCO Method, the only show focused on helping you massively increase your
net operating income. I am Andy McQuade and thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
of the podcast. The last couple episodes we talked about budgets, planning, insanity,
all right, not insanity, but it can feel like it sometimes. What I want to talk about today is
(00:47):
a shift back to something that we talked about a couple weeks ago that can impact your NOI if you use it,
right? We did a couple episodes on who's on your team, how much is your time worth, all
that other fun stuff. This one I want to talk about just because it can increase your NOI,
(01:08):
because of the people you're going to put on your team. But there's a component missing from a
lot of people's planning and execution on this piece of the puzzle that we need to discuss.
So there's the saying in real estate that you see every day where your network is your net worth.
(01:31):
Yes and no. Your network can be your net worth if your network doesn't suck.
Quite frankly, well what do you mean? My network doesn't suck, I know
6000 people. Okay, do you really know 6000 people or do 6000 people really know you for one?
(01:54):
Because it's not the quantity, it's the quality. And there's another thing I see
paraded, literally paraded with no actual understanding of the meaning online all the time. And
that's you're going to become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
(02:16):
Okay, I believe that. Sure. But it's not necessarily talking about work by itself specifically,
not your business network. It's talking about your personal life. So there's two things I want
to talk about today. This whole your network is your net worth and how people don't actually understand
(02:41):
what that means, but they paraded religiously. And the whole you're going to become the five people
you spend the most time with. Because people seem to have a really hard time with understanding exactly
what kind of sacrifice that takes to make happen. There's people who will swear that your network is
your net worth. But they're really bad at actually doing what it takes to use their network to influence
(03:10):
their net worth. There's two things that happen. There's the human tendency because we're basically
machines. We're programmed, right? What we take into our brains and what we absorb through people
we hang out with and what we allow to influence our minds impacts how we think and then it impacts
(03:33):
how we perform. There's people with massive networks that say they have hundreds and hundreds of
friends that say they have thousands of people in their network, but really it's just an email
list or a phone number list. And when they need something that they think someone on that list
(03:55):
can help with, they'll call them, but they don't actually do anything for anyone to pay that forward,
pay that back. So it's not really your network is your net worth for a lot of these people, a lot of
these people look at their network as a resource to take, right? I call them takers. There's takers and
(04:23):
makers. I call them takers because all they do is take and there's different times in your life
when you're going to be a taker because of things that are going on and that's okay. This is not
a psychology show. What I'm going to say is the network is your net worth people need to actually
(04:45):
understand how that network works, how it functions, why they're there. Like if you're the person who shows up
once every three or four get together and you trade phone numbers but you never follow up,
(05:08):
never make any phone calls, you don't send an email saying, "Hey, it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah."
Where's the incentive for that person to remember you? Like you need that hook after the event because
there's probably dozens or hundreds of people at these events and you're shaking hands and kissing
babies and meeting a lot of faces and you're not going to remember all of them, but you will remember
(05:33):
the ones who take the extra step to reach out. Thanks for the time. I appreciate it at blah, blah, blah.
Now, not trying to tell you how to live your life, but the reality of networking in general,
whether you're part of a networking group or you just go to events or regular meetups or whatever
is everybody in that room, everybody has a reason to be there. Nobody goes to any type of anything
(06:04):
involving networking, work functions. You name it without a whiffam. A whiffam is a what's in it for me.
Like they can show up and say, "Oh, I'm just here to add value, but you're not." Because if you were
(06:25):
just there to add value and you weren't going to get anything from it, free has no value. So you can't
add value if there's no skin in the game for you. You're going because you want to expand your network.
You're going because, or they're going because they want to find people that they can do business with
or that they can work with or that they like personally that they can hang out with.
(06:49):
We'll get to that later on the five people you spend the most time with are going to be who you
become and how successful you are. Your network is going to be exactly like a job in corporate
America or day-to-day life in your neighborhood. There's going to be a couple percent are going
(07:11):
to be really high performers that got to going on and are genuinely there because they see value for
themselves and they like to build a two-way relationship where they can give some value to somebody.
Then you're going to have the 10 to 15 percent of the above average performers who are hot and cold,
(07:37):
but making moves in the right direction. Then you're going to have another maybe 10 or 15 percent
of, eh, and then the bottom 50 percent are there because they're takers.
They don't want to do the work. They want somebody to carry them across the finish line. They don't
want to learn. They want to know somebody who does something so that they can copy them
(08:00):
or get in with them and have them drag them across the finish line.
No one is going to drag you across the finish line. No one good.
The top performers are there because they realize the work it takes to get there
and they also know how to identify somebody who's a taker. And they're just not going to drag you
(08:25):
across the finish line. I'm sorry. And that's true in your personal life also. So we're going to
rewind back and stop talking about personal stuff and keep this on a networking group for another
couple of minutes. If you're going, there's a ton of these masterminds which by the way a mastermind
is like four to six people, all peers, all helping each other succeed, sometimes run,
(08:49):
by somebody who needs that but is good at organizing. So that's a mastermind. If you're in a room
with three hundred and fifty or four hundred people or even two dozen people and there's somebody
running it, that's a seminar. Or a master class maybe. But that's the same thing as a seminar with
a different name. So let's get that out of the way right away. There's no such thing as a mastermind
(09:17):
where there's somebody running the show and telling people what to do who's not also participating
actively in it and paying the same amount of money into it as everybody else. Those are seminars and
coaching and individual people making money. The end. The networking people who go every single time
(09:38):
and help run those shows. There's a whole bunch of people out there telling people to go out and
start a group, start to get together, start a meetup. It does take work, it does take effort. You are
sort of giving back because you're creating opportunities for people to get together in network.
And the whiffam is that you're building your brand, your authority to do that. Sometimes it works out,
(10:03):
sometimes it doesn't. There's a lot of groups out there doing especially in real estate. God knows
half the real estate groups out there are gurus doing a local meetup so that they can sell
coaching, which while there is a need for in some cases and there is value to the $30,000 a year
(10:23):
coaching, $40,000 a year coaching programs. The reality of it is that most of the people,
and I'm not kidding when I say most, it's like 93% of the people who go through those programs
never get to the point where they're successful in the things they're taking to program for.
(10:45):
You need to be good when you're doing networking at being present,
not just looking out for yourself, right? Don't just look out for number one,
which you need me making genuine connections with people that are doing something that you want to do.
(11:10):
Being in networking groups for as long as I have, I see people come and go. It's like January comes,
they made their New Year's resolutions, they're going to get out and do all these cool things and
do all this stuff, kind of like dieting. And then they realize it's actually hard work to make your
networking pay off. It's even harder when all you are is a take and they don't get value out of it.
(11:38):
Well, here's the trick to networking, everybody. You get out of it, what you put into it.
So if you give and you network genuinely and you're trying to build your brand,
you're trying to find potential prospects, but you're also helping other people,
(12:02):
there's a whiff them for you. And then there's a give for other people either by sharing education,
sharing experience, sharing stories, introducing people that you know to other people you think
would be useful in their network, helping to run the show if you're into volunteering and helping
to run an organization. Those are all things that can help you with that, but you can't be the one
(12:29):
person show and just be a taker. Right, there's got to be two ways. Well, if I start my own group,
then I'm not a taker. Well, you kind of are because it's your group, right? I guess one thing to start
in non-profit with a board of directors and a bunch of officers and have them run the organization
and everybody volunteers their time versus this is the Tommy show and everybody's going to show up
(12:50):
and hang out with Tommy because Tommy's awesome and he's got all this stuff going on and it's great.
I want to hang out with the five people that are going to make me more successful.
No one's going to make you more successful. You have to do that. You get out what you put in.
Transitioning over to the sacrifice I alluded to in your five people you spend the most time with
(13:19):
being who you become. There's truth to it, but it's not what you think.
The most successful people out there constantly, consistently, cross all of them will tell you
that the hardest thing about being successful is that you have to leave people behind.
(13:45):
There are people in your life that you can love that you can care about
that you can want to spend time with genuinely.
But when you take an objective look at it again from 10,000 feet, be neutral. Take a part in look at it.
(14:06):
You need to do it objectively meaning no emotional color. No reminiscing on time's past.
When you look at the people you're hanging out with in your personal life, not just in your
networking events, but who you are spending your time with. What their attitudes are, what their beliefs
are, what their work ethic is, how they treat their families, how they treat their friends,
(14:30):
how they treat themselves. You have to look at it without any, "Oh, that's just Bob and Bob's just
like that." Or, "Ah, Suzie, Suzie's okay, she's just a little confused sometimes and it's fine."
You, the human being listening to this right now, are a machine.
(14:53):
Humans can be programmed. Yes, we're individuals, yes, we all have our own experiences,
those experiences shape our decision-making process and blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm not going
to get into the psychology of it, but needless to say, you are just like a computer. You are garbage
in, garbage out. Surround yourself with garbage and you will be garbage. Your product that you
(15:17):
produce will be garbage. Surround yourself with people who excel in our high performers.
You will do that as well. Now, the problem comes in with when people can't
separate the garbage from the success. You can't drag people across the finish line.
(15:38):
Just because you like somebody doesn't mean you're beholden because of your past relationship
to also make them successful. You need to worry about the things that drive you, that give you
fulfillment that make you whole. And I'm not saying not to help people who are less fortunate,
(16:03):
I'm not saying not to spend time occasionally with people who need your counsel and need your
ear that you grew up with that want to hear from you, that respect your opinion.
But you cannot change someone who doesn't want to make the effort to change themselves.
(16:24):
You cannot pull people with you into success. People have to work for it and earn it on their own.
And if you're listening to this and you believe that that's the only way capitalism exists
and the only way things work, nepotism and rich people dragging who they want up the chain with them,
(16:49):
yeah that happens sometimes. But for the vast majority of entrepreneurs and small business owners
that is not the case, they scrimped and saved and sacrificed and made their decisions based on
how they're going to operate and do things down the road because they had some drive, some passion,
some fire that determined how their life was going to play out. And they had the grit to stick with
(17:18):
it when times got tough. The average small business owner holds within four years of opening their
business by year seven, it's like 70% and by 10 years it's like 90%. Again, there's some in your
(17:39):
business versus on your business, there's not being able to identify and build a good team,
there's vetting issues, there's planning issues, there's all sorts of stuff because typically
your entrepreneur, your small business owner is doing what they do because they're good at a technical
(17:59):
skill or they enjoy something. It does not always make them a good business owner or a good CEO,
CFO, COO type of person, they need people on their team who can help them with that. So your networking
being your net worth ties in directly because in your networking you should be finding people
(18:22):
that you want to have on your team that can do the things that you're not good at that can help you
with things that you need help with because you don't want to be that 90% of businesses that
fold in 10 years. That's not a goal, I think anybody strives for while they're laying in bed at two
in the morning wondering what their future holds. But when you surround yourself with the five people
(18:52):
that you want to be like, you need to make sure they're actually who you want to be like.
What does their family look like? What are their friendships look like? What kind of foundation are
those built on? Are they built on hardying and getting high and blowing money left and right? Are
(19:17):
those the people you want to hang out with that you think are successful? Or are those the people
you probably want to avoid because they're unpredictable? When you're choosing who you're going to have
on your team, the five people you spend the most time with are part of that conversation.
(19:39):
Your network is your net worth only if you actually know how to use it correctly. You get out what
you put in. The five people you spend the most time with are the most important because if you don't
respect certain life choices and certain decisions, why would you want to surround yourself with
(20:00):
somebody who's going to influence you to do that? Garbage out. You surround yourself with things
and people that you enjoy that will make you better, not that will drag you down. And that means
that you have to leave people behind and that's the worst part about figuring out a path and walking
(20:28):
that path to take care of your family, take care of your mental well-being is that you're going to leave
people behind. And you can't avoid it. It's going to happen. You can love people in your family
and not want to emulate them. You have to be discerning and you have to judge or yourself.
(20:55):
It doesn't mean you have to hurt people's feelings, call them names, point fingers,
but you have to be able to discern who's going to add value to your life. You want to hang out with
people who are blowing coke up their nose every Friday to relax from their work week.
(21:17):
Or do you want to work with people and spend your time with people who are a little bit more
discerning and that maybe do yoga or exercise or whatever to cope? You have to be judgy.
It's your life, it's your success, it's your future, it's your family's success and future.
(21:42):
And you should treat it like that. Actions, decisions, they all have consequences. Inaction has
consequences. Choosing not to go to that networking meeting because you're having a bad day,
if there's no fire that needs to be put out immediately, go to the networking meeting, you'll
probably feel better for it afterwards. But only if you're not there to be a taker. Makers and
(22:08):
takers, you have to focus on being a maker and it's going to take sacrifice. You're not going
to reach your goals without having to make decisions to walk away from things you enjoy
that you like spending time on. I love video games, love them. I have to work a lot. I don't have time
(22:32):
for them. So now I live vicariously through my 10 year old. I watch him play sometimes. I will walk
through the living room and he'll be playing the new Zelda game. And I think it's the coolest thing
ever because it's like Minecraft meets Zelda and I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. So I'll sit
there and I'll watch for like 10 minutes while I'm getting a drink from the sink, eating my lunch,
whatever. Don't take these things lightly. There are people in your life and your family
(22:58):
that you care about that you're just going to have to leave behind. And they're going to look at you,
some of them are going to celebrate your success. But the people who aren't are going to
cost you and you need to make sure that you are to a point where you can separate yourself from that
because those are the people who are going to hold you back. The same ones who are going to tear
(23:21):
down your success and not celebrate with you the ones who are going to be jealous and envious are
the ones who want you to drag them across the finish line. They're going to be the ones who
expect stuff from you because now you're successful and you have money. They're going to be the ones
who are telling you you can't do that. You're crazy. Don't do that. Just work your W2 until you retire.
(23:46):
It's the same thing in how you choose who you hire to run your operations. You get 50% of scrubs
and then some middle of the road people that are okay that are decent to get the job done.
And then you've got high performers that lighten on fire all the time and want more.
And when you look at from 10,000 feet objectively how those people live their lives and choose to
(24:13):
spend their time inside of work and outside of work. You start to see patterns of people who
are successful and are not. So this show is about massively increasing your net operating income
but also how to help you increase the money you keep. And as a business owner, as a business leader,
(24:35):
as an operator, as a functional, functional leader of any type of team, you need to be focused on
making sure that the decisions you make, the company you keep reflects who you want to be seen as
and where you want to go. In any event, you, if you want to build a successful team and attract
(25:02):
successful business partners, you need to start making decisions on where you're going to be
and not worry about dragging people across the finish line. You cannot create success in someone
else. You can only walk the path that you see for yourself in front of you for the best of your
(25:23):
ability. And if people choose to do the work to follow you, then so be it. If they get left behind
then that's on them, not on you and you have to let that go. It is a lonely road.
Now that I've depressed everybody on this wonderful Thursday, I'm kind of wrap up the show,
(25:46):
but I want to make sure that everybody knows they should be out doing networking events,
doing personal development of some kind. Reading books doesn't have to be a business
book. If you want to build your vocabulary and become better at language and communication,
(26:08):
you know what the billionaires of the world tell you to do? Read fiction. It doesn't matter what
kind. Just read, read fiction, read fantasy, sci-fi, read, howm-clancy novels. Like it doesn't have to be
something heavy all the time, but you get more out of reading a fiction book.
(26:31):
From a vocabulary and communication standpoint, then you do from reading all these books on
this shelf behind me. Let's be real. They're all business books. All of the stuff behind me is
strategy and operations and understanding yourself and leadership stuff and development and
yeah, there's a lot of crap back there, but get better at what you're trying to do. Keep growing,
(26:55):
keep moving forward. Don't let people that you spend your time with drag you down.
Look at where they are and determine if that's where you want to be. Look at how they live their
lives. There's plenty of rich people out there who make a ton of money that are absolute shitbirds.
They are scum of the earth and I would not want to emulate them in any way no matter how much money
(27:19):
they had. You need to be discerning. You need to be judgy. This is your life, your success, your
career, your business, your families, well-being, your generational wealth
and your kids are going to exist in the example that you set.
Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad and it takes them 20 years to figure out,
(27:46):
hey, this is not actually okay. Everybody has a path to walk and everybody has decisions to make
and you just need to do it. And if people get left behind you can't feel bad about that. That's not
on you. You need to take care of yourself and your family above all else and not apologize.
(28:10):
You also can't allow those people who drag you down to continue to do that. You need to find a
way to separate yourself from the losers. Podcast@tco-method.com. Give me whatever feedback you got.
Please, if you're watching on YouTube, subscribe, bring that bell. If you're listening on one of the
(28:34):
every single platform that this podcast is published on, please subscribe, leave a comment,
leave a review. Five stars would be great. Four stars is okay. Three stars. I'd rather have you
send me an email and tell me I'm stupid. But if you want to leave me three stars, do that too. I want
you to be honest. I'm just not going to be happy about it if I get one, two or three stars. I set
(28:56):
a lot of things in this particular podcast. It's probably going to make a lot of people angry. So
that's life, man. It is what it is. Thank you for listening. I want you to have a great weekend.
Go do real estate. Go to a networking event. Make some friends, shake some hands, kiss some babies,
give value back. Don't be a taker. Be a maker. Your network is your net worth only if you know how to use it.
(29:19):
And the five people use around yourself, you become, but only if you're willing to do the work.
If they're dragging you with them, it's not going to go well and it's not going to last.
And if you're dragging somebody with you, you need to cut the cord.
See you next time.
(29:49):
[Music]
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.