December 4, 2023 • 29 mins
This holiday season, it is time to embrace a spirit of gratitude and radical generosity -- without strings, without standards, and without expectations. https://endhomelessness.org/homelessness-in-america/homelessness-statistics/state-of-homelessness-report/pennsylvania/ https://247wallst.com/state/how-pennsylvanias-homelessness-problem-compares-to-the-nation/ https://partners.wsj.com/salvation-army/building-a-better-future/facing-a-new-year-on-the-poverty-line/#:~:text=The%20holiday%20season%20is%20one,day%2Dto%2Dday%20amenities. https://www.saffrontrust.org/blog/seasonalpoverty
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Episode Transcript
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Cassy (00:07):
Hi and welcome to the South Central PA.
Mom Fireflies, and Whoopee Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events andeverything in between right here in South
Central PA.
So sit back, grab a coffee a.
While, and settle in for the show.
(00:27):
Hi, everyone.
Welcome back to another episode of Firefliesand Whoopee pie.
It's Cassie here and it is just me this weekand today I wanted to talk about something
that's kind of been weighing on me a littlebit.
So we all know it's the holiday season, andfor some of us that might be Christmas or
(00:48):
Hanukah or Kwanzaa, whatever it is that you'recelebrating this time of year, we all tend to
focus on the idea of gifts, what we're goingto be getting, and holiday traditions and fun
activities and experiences.
And these are all great things.
(01:11):
I know I definitely fall into the trap ofwanting to do everything for my kids.
I want to get them all the best gifts.
I want to see how happy they are when they're
unwrapping their presents under the tree andthe special things that I can be doing for
them, and seeing Christmas tree lightings andgoing to see holiday lights and so on.
(01:36):
But I don't know how often I stop and take thetime to think about what is really important
this time of year, and really it should be allyear, but especially this time of year.
And that's gratitude.
Being thankful for the things that we have in
(01:57):
our life and recognizing how many people don'thave those things in their life, don't the
ability to go on all of these great holidaytrips or to give their kids presents something
(02:19):
so small right.
That we just really I don't think we really
consider until it's staring us in the face.
And I personally had this happen today where
it was staring me right straight in the face.
We went to church today like we do every week,
like many families and like many places, ourparish has an angel.
(02:46):
You know, I've seen these all over the place.
I think my kids school has one.
YMCA that we remember in Florida had one, ifyou're not familiar.
An angel tree is basically an opportunity forpeople around the holidays to help a family
get Christmas gifts.
(03:07):
So usually there will be tags on the tree and
it will have a wish list for a family.
And you take the tags and you buy those gifts
for that person.
And it's anonymous.
No one knows about it.
You don't know who the recipient is, and they
won't know who gave them the gifts.
(03:29):
So we've gotten tags off of angel trees
before, and typically it's toys and stuff,kids wanting dolls or race cars or whatever it
may be.
Sometimes there's clothes or shoes, but
nothing really too outlandish.
(03:51):
And so we go over there and my kids want to be
the ones to pick out the tag on the tree.
And so I make sure to tell them, let me see it
first.
And there weren't a lot of tags on the tree
left, which is great.
It's a great problem to have.
But I noticed that a lot of the tags on thetree were for necessities.
(04:17):
They were not for gifts.
They weren't for presents.
There were people who needed things likeshaving cream and underwear for their kids,
people who needed diapers.
And it just struck me so hard, because, one,
(04:39):
there's a lot of talk about privilege in theworld today, and I am definitely aware that I
have a lot of privilege, just generallyspeaking.
But this is one of those moments where itreally struck me that.
(05:00):
I.
Can afford to give my children the necessities that they need.
We have a roof over our heads.
We have food in our pantry.
We don't get everything that we want.
They don't get everything that they want.
There's a lot of things that we have to dowithout, but I cannot imagine being in the
position of struggling to buy things likediapers or food or clothing the necessities
(05:28):
that so many of us take for granted and thathas just been sitting with me for so long.
And it's not that I'm not aware that there arepeople who have these issues.
I think that most of us know, we know from adistance.
And I think that's part of the problem is thatwe are all well, I shouldn't say we all, but
(05:54):
those of us who don't have issues with povertyor homelessness or food insecurity, it's not
something that we see on a regular basis whenwe are living in our communities.
The people that are around us tend to bepeople of our same social class, a lot of
(06:14):
times of our same race.
So we don't really get confronted with the
reality of what the rest of the world has toexperience.
And it was a sobering moment, and it was areminder that we really need to be focusing,
(06:34):
me and my family, and doing more of what wecan to help other people in our community.
And we try to do what we can.
We volunteer with various organizations.
A lot of them that we have volunteered withare various disability organizations and what
(06:56):
have you.
But it was still this thought that somewhere
out there there is a mother, and instead ofasking for toys for her children for
Christmas, she's worried about providing themwith things like diapers and underwear.
(07:19):
That there's someone out there who needssomething like a sweater or shaving.
Again, you know, I've noticed these things.
I've seen these things.
We lived in Nebraska before we moved toPennsylvania.
And one of the things that I learned from agood friend of mine was to humanize the people
(07:41):
that you see who are living in poverty orespecially the people who are homeless.
And I say learned this because when I wasgrowing up and when I was a teenager, and even
as a young adult, there's always this notionof culturally that homeless people deserve it,
(08:01):
that they're irresponsible and they're lazy.
And they're only homeless because they're on
drugs and they can't bother to get off thedrugs to get themselves together and get a job
in a house.
Obviously, as an adult, I am more than aware
that that is very false.
(08:23):
But you grow up with this mindset, this
attitude that we have in society, that this iswhat homeless people are like, and it's
obviously not true.
One of my favorite things.
I say favorite in a bad way, but that you'llhear people repeat a lot.
And that, I'm sad to say I did when I wasyounger, is that people who are homeless, when
(08:50):
they're asking for money, it's this anecdoteof, oh, yeah.
I won't give them money.
I'll offer them food, but they never take it
anyway.
And it's one, how many of these people are
actually offering the homeless person you seedown the street food?
How many people actually mean that?And two, what a horrible way to treat someone.
(09:14):
It is a sad statement in what our society islike that when someone in need asks us for
something, our first thought is, well, they'reprobably just going to use it for drugs and to
treat them as if they're not even a person.
(09:34):
When we see homeless people on the street, we
avoid them.
We try not to look them in the eye because,
oh, no, they might ask us for money.
And I remember one of the things that helped
was, again, I had this friend who I don't evenknow how we got on these topics, but we did,
and it was talking about homeless people.
And I think one of the things that she had
(09:57):
mentioned that she does is, hey, sometimes Idon't have money, but even if I don't, I will
still stop if they ask and introduce myself.
And she pointed out, how many times do you
think anyone asks that person what their nameis?
How many times does anyone care?Most people, they don't see them as another
(10:17):
human being, even though they are.
They are a person with a story and a family,
and they just get robbed of their humanity bythe world every single day.
And so there was this man who know, when I wasliving in Nebraska who was homeless.
(10:44):
His name was Floyd.
I made sure to introduce myself after that got
pointed out to me, 1015.
However many years ago, I started trying to
remember that, because it's, again, one ofthose things.
Can you imagine living in such a way that noone will even look you in the eyes?
(11:05):
And if they do, they treat you like you shouldjust be grateful for whatever handouts,
whatever pennies they can throw at you.
And when they do, they're not going to bother
to treat you like a human being who's worthknowing.
So after that, this conversation that was justkind of I was somewhere in my twenty s and it
(11:28):
was like, wow, it was eye opening and itshouldn't have been.
But again, that's the world that we live in.
So I'd see homeless people and I would try to
make sure to introduce myself if I had theopportunity to ask them their name and have a
conversation with them beyond just, oh, here'sa dollar, and be on my way.
(11:53):
And I remember there was right around the timethat we moved to Nebraska, it was a very harsh
winter there and there was a polar vortex thattook place, so it was going to be negative 30.
And I remember just being so scared for Floyd.
This man that I'd gotten to know, he was so
(12:13):
friendly and I made sure there wasn't a wholelot I could do.
Because maybe there is.
I have no idea.
That's the sad thing is there's a lot of timesthis feeling of powerlessness.
I got him a hat and I got him a blanket andsome gloves and a jacket and made sure to give
(12:34):
them to him and just told him, please staysafe.
And that feeling of powerlessness is the samething that I felt today.
I felt it again today when I was looking atthat angel tree and it was requests for things
like shaving cream and underwear in diapers.
(12:54):
It is painful to think of our fellow human
beings in that situation.
And I think that's why so many of us look away
or why we will do things like dehumanize ourfellow human beings.
It's easier to think of a homeless person asbeing just this lazy, drug addicted, worthless
(13:23):
piece of **** who doesn't deserve oursympathy.
Because if we do give them our sympathy, if wedo let ourselves feel that it's hard and it's
painful.
So that's one thing that I think during the
holidays is the best time that people startremembering that.
(13:46):
And it's a good and a bad thing.
It is definitely true that volunteering
skyrockets during the holiday season, but therest of the year, it's nowhere near as much.
(14:09):
It's great that there's so many people who arelike, I'm going to go serve food at a homeless
shelter during the holiday season, but thenwhat about, say, a random day in June?
Or what about for Valentine's Day?Or whatever it might be.
(14:31):
We should be doing this all year round, but wedon't.
Well, I shouldn't say we all do, some peopledo, but during the holiday season, there's
just something I think that gets to people.
Maybe because during the holidays people tend
(14:52):
to be with their families.
That is, when they're able to buy presents for
their kids.
It's expected that you're going to give your
children all these gifts.
And when you're doing that, you're thinking
about, oh, I see this angel tree.
What about the people who have less than me?
(15:15):
And we think we need to give back, which is agreat thought, but it's definitely something
that we should be doing all year round and itis a good time to give back.
For example, the Wall Street Journal talksabout how the holiday season is one of the
(15:42):
times of year that low income families seekthe most assistance.
One person with the Salvation Army told theWall Street Journal that they get a lot of
requests at the holidays for things likelaundry detergent and bus and ferry passes
because for whatever reason, I guess that iswhat people need the most with homelessness
(16:10):
during the winter.
Obviously, it is a much more dangerous time of
year because of the weather.
Thankfully, in Pennsylvania, we don't fare
quite as bad as the rest of the country.
We're actually ranked number 38, which is a
good ranking to have.
But there's still, according to
(16:33):
Endhomelessness.org, there are over 13,000people in the entire state of Pennsylvania
that are homeless on any given night.
And they have statistics county by county.
So for example, in York, it's over 300 peopleon any random night.
In Harrisburg.
It's over 400.
(16:54):
Lancaster, it's over 400.
In Reading and Berks County.
It's over 500.
That's hundreds, if not thousands of people,
our neighbors who have nowhere to live.
And some of them are families.
It's not the majority, but they are there.
(17:20):
It's it's especially in this day and age, in
this economy, there are so many people who canfind themselves just one missed paycheck, one
job loss away from stability.
(17:40):
They may have a place to live, and then
whatever happens, they lose their job and allof a sudden they're out on the streets and
their children have no place to go.
And so even people who are not necessarily
(18:01):
homeless, the holiday season is a difficulttime of year because culturally, like I
mentioned at the beginning, it is all aboutgift giving.
And imagine how that must feel when you are aperson who is just struggling to put food on
(18:24):
the table.
And all around you, everywhere around you are
these images and urges that you have to buyyour children everything that they want under
the sun in order to make them happy for theholidays.
It is, it's heartbreaking.
Especially there is this huge debate right now
(18:47):
about Santa, because people have started topoint out in recent years over the holiday
season that having Santa give your childrenthings like the newest Xbox or a Nintendo
Switch or whatever high priced item that istrendy at the moment.
(19:13):
Yeah, they go to school and they're like, ohyeah, Santa got me the new Xbox.
And then the kid sitting next to them is like,well, Santa brought me socks.
Am I not as good of a child?And there's so many people that you'll see in
comments on those stories and they're so angryover it.
Like, let kids be happy and why do we have toblah, blah, blah about everything?
(19:34):
Why is everything such a why is everyone sooffended about things?
And I think the problem is that it's a goodpoint and people don't like having that mirror
turned inward towards them because it's true.
Kids are going to go to school and whether
(19:55):
they are privileged enough to have the thingsthey want under the Christmas tree or they are
not, they are going to go to school and theyare going to talk.
They're going to talk to other kids andthey're going to compare what they get to what
other children get.
Especially considering with Santa, that so
(20:17):
many people that buy into this idea of Santa.
What's the whole legend is that you're naughty
or you're nice, right?So it's tied into this notion of am I a good
person or am I a bad person?So if you're a good person, you get good
gifts, and if you're a bad person, then youget bad gifts.
(20:37):
So you go to school and so and so sitting nextto you gets all of these fancy gifts and all I
got was some stuff from the Dollar store.
Am I not as good of a kid as her?
That's something that is just sad.
(21:01):
And it's even sadder to know that there are
people who don't care, who don't care abouthow those other children will feel.
You it is more important than ever with theway the world is right now and this economy
(21:32):
that we exercise gratitude for the things thatwe have and radical generosity.
The holiday season pays a lot of lip servicetowards gratitude.
But let's be honest.
How many of us actually practice it?
How many of us actually sit, especially withour children, and are truly grateful for the
(21:56):
things that we have, for the advantages, forthe privilege that we have?
I mentioned that I am very aware that I have alot of privilege.
I am a white woman.
I do not live in poverty.
(22:17):
Those two things in and of themselves.
And I could even add into, I am straight.
I am a straight white woman who does not livein poverty.
We mentioned homelessness and LGBTQ teenagersand adults are more likely to experience
homelessness than the general population.
(22:38):
So I've got these things going for me.
And how often, though, do I sit back and say,man, I am lucky to be in the position that I
am in today.
How often do all of us do that?
I know that I get tied up in needing to get mykids the best presents.
(23:02):
Oh, man, my car is all busted.
Is it actually busted?
No, but I will sit there and complain aboutthat to myself because the rear facing camera
is not working and parts of the seats are kindof peeling off.
It's an old car.
It's almost ten years old.
So it's easy for me to complain about itbecause it's an old kind of busted up car.
(23:28):
But you know what?It runs and it fits all my children, and I can
afford to fill it up with gas.
How often do we sit back and realize how lucky
we are and how good we have it versus howoften are we complaining or wanting more?
How often do we sit and say, I am in a goodplace in my life?
(23:55):
That's something that, again, we pay lipservice to at the holidays.
But I think that culturally, it's notsomething that is done very often, especially
not at the holidays.
The holidays, we talk about Thanksgiving and
that's great.
What comes right after Thanksgiving?
Black Friday and then Cyber Monday.
(24:17):
So immediately after, we are supposed to talk
about how we're thankful.
We're supposed to turn around and spend money
and buy bye bye the holiday season, it'ssupposed to be about joy and thankfulness and
giving.
But what is the cultural narrative?
The cultural narrative is all of theexperiences we have to give our families and
(24:40):
all the things that we're going to buy forthem.
We don't focus enough on gratitude andgenerosity the way that we should, and it's we
(25:04):
cannot individually I know, again, thisfeeling of powerlessness that I mentioned, we
can't individually change the entire world.
We can't change the way everyone treats
Christmas.
We can't change the way everyone looks at
Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or the holidays.
We can't make people be more grateful.
We can't make the culture stop being sofocused on all of the things that we can buy,
(25:30):
but we can individually do what we can to makea difference.
And even though I feel like it's not enoughpretty much ever, those tags in the angel
tree, I grabbed a bunch of them, and I'm inthis position where, great, I can do this,
(25:52):
which again, is a sign of my privilege.
But there's also this feeling of guilt that
I'm not doing more.
And that's where we just all have to
individually do the most we can.
And if we all do it together, that's how the
culture changes.
That is how we build a culture of gratitude
and generosity.
(26:14):
Stop demanding that people jump through hoops
to meet whatever arbitrary standards we havefor receiving our there's no litmus test for
kindness.
You're either going to be kind and generous or
you're not.
Let's say you do go to a homeless person and
(26:36):
you give them $20 and yeah, they go getthemselves some drugs from Lord knows where.
So what?That's their decision.
Your generosity is not canceled out because ofsomeone else's bad decision.
And when we give someone a gift, we don't getto decide how they use it.
(26:59):
If we gift someone something, we don't get toput strings around it saying, well, this is
only for X, Y, and Z. I think most of the timewe understand that when it's something like,
well, I'm going to give someone at Christmas aVisa gift card.
But you don't turn around and demand that yoursister in law uses that $50 Visa gift card on,
(27:24):
well, you have to use it responsibly.
Don't go buy yourself some new boots or get
yourself a manicure.
No, you need to use it only on food.
We don't put those standards and restrictionson someone who is well off, but we will put
them on someone who's living in poverty.
So I think that that's something that my
(27:47):
family is going to focus on more often.
This holiday season is radical generosity
without judgment, without concern of, well,they're not worthy or they're not going to use
it well and really take the time to begrateful for the things that we have instead
(28:13):
of always demanding more.
And I hope that this holiday season, you will
consider doing the same and then continuedoing it after the new year and through the
rest of 2024.
And together, we can hopefully make a kinder,
better world.
(28:42):
That's our episode for this week.
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The Fireflies and Whoopee Pie podcast.
The only podcast by South Central PA moms.
Or South Central PA moms.
Until next time.
Hi and welcome to the South Central PA.
Mom Fireflies, and Whoopee Pie podcast, where
we discuss motherhood, local events andeverything in between right here in South
Central PA.
So sit back, grab a coffee a.
While, and settle in for the show.
(00:27):
Hi, everyone.
Welcome back to another episode of Firefliesand Whoopee pie.
It's Cassie here and it is just me this weekand today I wanted to talk about something
that's kind of been weighing on me a littlebit.
So we all know it's the holiday season, andfor some of us that might be Christmas or
(00:48):
Hanukah or Kwanzaa, whatever it is that you'recelebrating this time of year, we all tend to
focus on the idea of gifts, what we're goingto be getting, and holiday traditions and fun
activities and experiences.
And these are all great things.
(01:11):
I know I definitely fall into the trap ofwanting to do everything for my kids.
I want to get them all the best gifts.
I want to see how happy they are when they're
unwrapping their presents under the tree andthe special things that I can be doing for
them, and seeing Christmas tree lightings andgoing to see holiday lights and so on.
(01:36):
But I don't know how often I stop and take thetime to think about what is really important
this time of year, and really it should be allyear, but especially this time of year.
And that's gratitude.
Being thankful for the things that we have in
(01:57):
our life and recognizing how many people don'thave those things in their life, don't the
ability to go on all of these great holidaytrips or to give their kids presents something
(02:19):
so small right.
That we just really I don't think we really
consider until it's staring us in the face.
And I personally had this happen today where
it was staring me right straight in the face.
We went to church today like we do every week,
like many families and like many places, ourparish has an angel.
(02:46):
You know, I've seen these all over the place.
I think my kids school has one.
YMCA that we remember in Florida had one, ifyou're not familiar.
An angel tree is basically an opportunity forpeople around the holidays to help a family
get Christmas gifts.
(03:07):
So usually there will be tags on the tree and
it will have a wish list for a family.
And you take the tags and you buy those gifts
for that person.
And it's anonymous.
No one knows about it.
You don't know who the recipient is, and they
won't know who gave them the gifts.
(03:29):
So we've gotten tags off of angel trees
before, and typically it's toys and stuff,kids wanting dolls or race cars or whatever it
may be.
Sometimes there's clothes or shoes, but
nothing really too outlandish.
(03:51):
And so we go over there and my kids want to be
the ones to pick out the tag on the tree.
And so I make sure to tell them, let me see it
first.
And there weren't a lot of tags on the tree
left, which is great.
It's a great problem to have.
But I noticed that a lot of the tags on thetree were for necessities.
(04:17):
They were not for gifts.
They weren't for presents.
There were people who needed things likeshaving cream and underwear for their kids,
people who needed diapers.
And it just struck me so hard, because, one,
(04:39):
there's a lot of talk about privilege in theworld today, and I am definitely aware that I
have a lot of privilege, just generallyspeaking.
But this is one of those moments where itreally struck me that.
(05:00):
I.
Can afford to give my children the necessities that they need.
We have a roof over our heads.
We have food in our pantry.
We don't get everything that we want.
They don't get everything that they want.
There's a lot of things that we have to dowithout, but I cannot imagine being in the
position of struggling to buy things likediapers or food or clothing the necessities
(05:28):
that so many of us take for granted and thathas just been sitting with me for so long.
And it's not that I'm not aware that there arepeople who have these issues.
I think that most of us know, we know from adistance.
And I think that's part of the problem is thatwe are all well, I shouldn't say we all, but
(05:54):
those of us who don't have issues with povertyor homelessness or food insecurity, it's not
something that we see on a regular basis whenwe are living in our communities.
The people that are around us tend to bepeople of our same social class, a lot of
(06:14):
times of our same race.
So we don't really get confronted with the
reality of what the rest of the world has toexperience.
And it was a sobering moment, and it was areminder that we really need to be focusing,
(06:34):
me and my family, and doing more of what wecan to help other people in our community.
And we try to do what we can.
We volunteer with various organizations.
A lot of them that we have volunteered withare various disability organizations and what
(06:56):
have you.
But it was still this thought that somewhere
out there there is a mother, and instead ofasking for toys for her children for
Christmas, she's worried about providing themwith things like diapers and underwear.
(07:19):
That there's someone out there who needssomething like a sweater or shaving.
Again, you know, I've noticed these things.
I've seen these things.
We lived in Nebraska before we moved toPennsylvania.
And one of the things that I learned from agood friend of mine was to humanize the people
(07:41):
that you see who are living in poverty orespecially the people who are homeless.
And I say learned this because when I wasgrowing up and when I was a teenager, and even
as a young adult, there's always this notionof culturally that homeless people deserve it,
(08:01):
that they're irresponsible and they're lazy.
And they're only homeless because they're on
drugs and they can't bother to get off thedrugs to get themselves together and get a job
in a house.
Obviously, as an adult, I am more than aware
that that is very false.
(08:23):
But you grow up with this mindset, this
attitude that we have in society, that this iswhat homeless people are like, and it's
obviously not true.
One of my favorite things.
I say favorite in a bad way, but that you'llhear people repeat a lot.
And that, I'm sad to say I did when I wasyounger, is that people who are homeless, when
(08:50):
they're asking for money, it's this anecdoteof, oh, yeah.
I won't give them money.
I'll offer them food, but they never take it
anyway.
And it's one, how many of these people are
actually offering the homeless person you seedown the street food?
How many people actually mean that?And two, what a horrible way to treat someone.
(09:14):
It is a sad statement in what our society islike that when someone in need asks us for
something, our first thought is, well, they'reprobably just going to use it for drugs and to
treat them as if they're not even a person.
(09:34):
When we see homeless people on the street, we
avoid them.
We try not to look them in the eye because,
oh, no, they might ask us for money.
And I remember one of the things that helped
was, again, I had this friend who I don't evenknow how we got on these topics, but we did,
and it was talking about homeless people.
And I think one of the things that she had
(09:57):
mentioned that she does is, hey, sometimes Idon't have money, but even if I don't, I will
still stop if they ask and introduce myself.
And she pointed out, how many times do you
think anyone asks that person what their nameis?
How many times does anyone care?Most people, they don't see them as another
(10:17):
human being, even though they are.
They are a person with a story and a family,
and they just get robbed of their humanity bythe world every single day.
And so there was this man who know, when I wasliving in Nebraska who was homeless.
(10:44):
His name was Floyd.
I made sure to introduce myself after that got
pointed out to me, 1015.
However many years ago, I started trying to
remember that, because it's, again, one ofthose things.
Can you imagine living in such a way that noone will even look you in the eyes?
(11:05):
And if they do, they treat you like you shouldjust be grateful for whatever handouts,
whatever pennies they can throw at you.
And when they do, they're not going to bother
to treat you like a human being who's worthknowing.
So after that, this conversation that was justkind of I was somewhere in my twenty s and it
(11:28):
was like, wow, it was eye opening and itshouldn't have been.
But again, that's the world that we live in.
So I'd see homeless people and I would try to
make sure to introduce myself if I had theopportunity to ask them their name and have a
conversation with them beyond just, oh, here'sa dollar, and be on my way.
(11:53):
And I remember there was right around the timethat we moved to Nebraska, it was a very harsh
winter there and there was a polar vortex thattook place, so it was going to be negative 30.
And I remember just being so scared for Floyd.
This man that I'd gotten to know, he was so
(12:13):
friendly and I made sure there wasn't a wholelot I could do.
Because maybe there is.
I have no idea.
That's the sad thing is there's a lot of timesthis feeling of powerlessness.
I got him a hat and I got him a blanket andsome gloves and a jacket and made sure to give
(12:34):
them to him and just told him, please staysafe.
And that feeling of powerlessness is the samething that I felt today.
I felt it again today when I was looking atthat angel tree and it was requests for things
like shaving cream and underwear in diapers.
(12:54):
It is painful to think of our fellow human
beings in that situation.
And I think that's why so many of us look away
or why we will do things like dehumanize ourfellow human beings.
It's easier to think of a homeless person asbeing just this lazy, drug addicted, worthless
(13:23):
piece of **** who doesn't deserve oursympathy.
Because if we do give them our sympathy, if wedo let ourselves feel that it's hard and it's
painful.
So that's one thing that I think during the
holidays is the best time that people startremembering that.
(13:46):
And it's a good and a bad thing.
It is definitely true that volunteering
skyrockets during the holiday season, but therest of the year, it's nowhere near as much.
(14:09):
It's great that there's so many people who arelike, I'm going to go serve food at a homeless
shelter during the holiday season, but thenwhat about, say, a random day in June?
Or what about for Valentine's Day?Or whatever it might be.
(14:31):
We should be doing this all year round, but wedon't.
Well, I shouldn't say we all do, some peopledo, but during the holiday season, there's
just something I think that gets to people.
Maybe because during the holidays people tend
(14:52):
to be with their families.
That is, when they're able to buy presents for
their kids.
It's expected that you're going to give your
children all these gifts.
And when you're doing that, you're thinking
about, oh, I see this angel tree.
What about the people who have less than me?
(15:15):
And we think we need to give back, which is agreat thought, but it's definitely something
that we should be doing all year round and itis a good time to give back.
For example, the Wall Street Journal talksabout how the holiday season is one of the
(15:42):
times of year that low income families seekthe most assistance.
One person with the Salvation Army told theWall Street Journal that they get a lot of
requests at the holidays for things likelaundry detergent and bus and ferry passes
because for whatever reason, I guess that iswhat people need the most with homelessness
(16:10):
during the winter.
Obviously, it is a much more dangerous time of
year because of the weather.
Thankfully, in Pennsylvania, we don't fare
quite as bad as the rest of the country.
We're actually ranked number 38, which is a
good ranking to have.
But there's still, according to
(16:33):
Endhomelessness.org, there are over 13,000people in the entire state of Pennsylvania
that are homeless on any given night.
And they have statistics county by county.
So for example, in York, it's over 300 peopleon any random night.
In Harrisburg.
It's over 400.
(16:54):
Lancaster, it's over 400.
In Reading and Berks County.
It's over 500.
That's hundreds, if not thousands of people,
our neighbors who have nowhere to live.
And some of them are families.
It's not the majority, but they are there.
(17:20):
It's it's especially in this day and age, in
this economy, there are so many people who canfind themselves just one missed paycheck, one
job loss away from stability.
(17:40):
They may have a place to live, and then
whatever happens, they lose their job and allof a sudden they're out on the streets and
their children have no place to go.
And so even people who are not necessarily
(18:01):
homeless, the holiday season is a difficulttime of year because culturally, like I
mentioned at the beginning, it is all aboutgift giving.
And imagine how that must feel when you are aperson who is just struggling to put food on
(18:24):
the table.
And all around you, everywhere around you are
these images and urges that you have to buyyour children everything that they want under
the sun in order to make them happy for theholidays.
It is, it's heartbreaking.
Especially there is this huge debate right now
(18:47):
about Santa, because people have started topoint out in recent years over the holiday
season that having Santa give your childrenthings like the newest Xbox or a Nintendo
Switch or whatever high priced item that istrendy at the moment.
(19:13):
Yeah, they go to school and they're like, ohyeah, Santa got me the new Xbox.
And then the kid sitting next to them is like,well, Santa brought me socks.
Am I not as good of a child?And there's so many people that you'll see in
comments on those stories and they're so angryover it.
Like, let kids be happy and why do we have toblah, blah, blah about everything?
(19:34):
Why is everything such a why is everyone sooffended about things?
And I think the problem is that it's a goodpoint and people don't like having that mirror
turned inward towards them because it's true.
Kids are going to go to school and whether
(19:55):
they are privileged enough to have the thingsthey want under the Christmas tree or they are
not, they are going to go to school and theyare going to talk.
They're going to talk to other kids andthey're going to compare what they get to what
other children get.
Especially considering with Santa, that so
(20:17):
many people that buy into this idea of Santa.
What's the whole legend is that you're naughty
or you're nice, right?So it's tied into this notion of am I a good
person or am I a bad person?So if you're a good person, you get good
gifts, and if you're a bad person, then youget bad gifts.
(20:37):
So you go to school and so and so sitting nextto you gets all of these fancy gifts and all I
got was some stuff from the Dollar store.
Am I not as good of a kid as her?
That's something that is just sad.
(21:01):
And it's even sadder to know that there are
people who don't care, who don't care abouthow those other children will feel.
You it is more important than ever with theway the world is right now and this economy
(21:32):
that we exercise gratitude for the things thatwe have and radical generosity.
The holiday season pays a lot of lip servicetowards gratitude.
But let's be honest.
How many of us actually practice it?
How many of us actually sit, especially withour children, and are truly grateful for the
(21:56):
things that we have, for the advantages, forthe privilege that we have?
I mentioned that I am very aware that I have alot of privilege.
I am a white woman.
I do not live in poverty.
(22:17):
Those two things in and of themselves.
And I could even add into, I am straight.
I am a straight white woman who does not livein poverty.
We mentioned homelessness and LGBTQ teenagersand adults are more likely to experience
homelessness than the general population.
(22:38):
So I've got these things going for me.
And how often, though, do I sit back and say,man, I am lucky to be in the position that I
am in today.
How often do all of us do that?
I know that I get tied up in needing to get mykids the best presents.
(23:02):
Oh, man, my car is all busted.
Is it actually busted?
No, but I will sit there and complain aboutthat to myself because the rear facing camera
is not working and parts of the seats are kindof peeling off.
It's an old car.
It's almost ten years old.
So it's easy for me to complain about itbecause it's an old kind of busted up car.
(23:28):
But you know what?It runs and it fits all my children, and I can
afford to fill it up with gas.
How often do we sit back and realize how lucky
we are and how good we have it versus howoften are we complaining or wanting more?
How often do we sit and say, I am in a goodplace in my life?
(23:55):
That's something that, again, we pay lipservice to at the holidays.
But I think that culturally, it's notsomething that is done very often, especially
not at the holidays.
The holidays, we talk about Thanksgiving and
that's great.
What comes right after Thanksgiving?
Black Friday and then Cyber Monday.
(24:17):
So immediately after, we are supposed to talk
about how we're thankful.
We're supposed to turn around and spend money
and buy bye bye the holiday season, it'ssupposed to be about joy and thankfulness and
giving.
But what is the cultural narrative?
The cultural narrative is all of theexperiences we have to give our families and
(24:40):
all the things that we're going to buy forthem.
We don't focus enough on gratitude andgenerosity the way that we should, and it's we
(25:04):
cannot individually I know, again, thisfeeling of powerlessness that I mentioned, we
can't individually change the entire world.
We can't change the way everyone treats
Christmas.
We can't change the way everyone looks at
Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or the holidays.
We can't make people be more grateful.
We can't make the culture stop being sofocused on all of the things that we can buy,
(25:30):
but we can individually do what we can to makea difference.
And even though I feel like it's not enoughpretty much ever, those tags in the angel
tree, I grabbed a bunch of them, and I'm inthis position where, great, I can do this,
(25:52):
which again, is a sign of my privilege.
But there's also this feeling of guilt that
I'm not doing more.
And that's where we just all have to
individually do the most we can.
And if we all do it together, that's how the
culture changes.
That is how we build a culture of gratitude
and generosity.
(26:14):
Stop demanding that people jump through hoops
to meet whatever arbitrary standards we havefor receiving our there's no litmus test for
kindness.
You're either going to be kind and generous or
you're not.
Let's say you do go to a homeless person and
(26:36):
you give them $20 and yeah, they go getthemselves some drugs from Lord knows where.
So what?That's their decision.
Your generosity is not canceled out because ofsomeone else's bad decision.
And when we give someone a gift, we don't getto decide how they use it.
(26:59):
If we gift someone something, we don't get toput strings around it saying, well, this is
only for X, Y, and Z. I think most of the timewe understand that when it's something like,
well, I'm going to give someone at Christmas aVisa gift card.
But you don't turn around and demand that yoursister in law uses that $50 Visa gift card on,
(27:24):
well, you have to use it responsibly.
Don't go buy yourself some new boots or get
yourself a manicure.
No, you need to use it only on food.
We don't put those standards and restrictionson someone who is well off, but we will put
them on someone who's living in poverty.
So I think that that's something that my
(27:47):
family is going to focus on more often.
This holiday season is radical generosity
without judgment, without concern of, well,they're not worthy or they're not going to use
it well and really take the time to begrateful for the things that we have instead
(28:13):
of always demanding more.
And I hope that this holiday season, you will
consider doing the same and then continuedoing it after the new year and through the
rest of 2024.
And together, we can hopefully make a kinder,
better world.
(28:42):
That's our episode for this week.
New episodes will drop every Monday.
Make sure to subscribe so you never miss out.
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find us.
Thanks for stopping by.
The Fireflies and Whoopee Pie podcast.
The only podcast by South Central PA moms.
Or South Central PA moms.
Until next time.
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