Sexuality After Trauma

Today, I had the incredible opportunity to speak with the remarkable Marlee Liss. Marlee is a somatic educator, award-winning speaker, author, restorative justice advocate and lesbian Jewish feminist. Marlee made history in the justice system when her sexual assault case became the 1st in North America to conclude with restorative justice through the courts. Since then, she has coached hundreds of women and non-binary folk in healing shame and transforming trauma. I had the privilege of talking with Marlee about her story, what somatic education is and the positive impact that somatic healing can have for survivors of sexual assault and healing shame. Get ready for a thought-provoking and empowering conversation!

Show Notes

Intro:

[00:00:15] Michelle introduces Marlee Liss, restorative justice advocate, award winning speaker and somatic sex educator

[00:00:39] Marlee explains restorative justice and its focus on repair and healing 

[00:01:19] Michelle discusses Marlee's groundbreaking case and its impact on her sense of self. 

[00:02:00] Marlee's experience with sexual trauma and questioning her sexuality 

[00:02:23] Michelle introduces somatic education and its connection to healing 

[00:03:15] Marlee shares the importance feeling connected with one's body for self-care 

[00:04:05] The significance of understanding our bodies' needs for healthy relationships

Start of Interview

[00:04:25] Michelle acknowledges Marlee's achievements and discusses restorative justice 

[00:05:00] Marlee explains restorative justice as an approach prioritizing repair and healing 

[00:06:06] Michelle asks about the somatic lens in relation to restorative justice 

[00:07:00] Marlee explores the body's wisdom and the shift from judgment to recognizing function 

[00:07:53] Marlee shares her journey as a dancer  

[00:08:49] Exploring somatics as a means of processing trauma and healing 

[00:10:25] Michelle discusses the challenges survivors face in intimate relationships 

[00:11:39] Marlee reflects on her own experience with trauma, sexuality, and self-reflection 

[00:12:14] The importance of building a loving relationship with oneself 

[00:13:06] Marlee emphasizes the need to process trauma in a safe environment

 [00:14:05] Marlee's exploration of her relationship to sexuality and boundaries

 [00:15:04] Michelle highlights the societal conditioning and scripts around sexuality 

[00:16:18] Marlee emphasizes the importance of relational healing and communication 

[00:17:00] Michelle discusses the role of trauma-informed care in sexual relationships 

[00:18:23] Marlee shares her journey towards liberation and authentic identity 

[00:19:24] The significance of skillful care and trauma-informed interactions 

[00:20:08] Michelle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and having uncomfortable conversations

[00:20:54] Marlee: Talks about the discomfort of setting boundaries in the short term and the consequences of not setting boundaries in the long term. 

[00:21:20] Michelle: Asks Marlee about the common reasons people seek somatic education. 

[00:22:21] Marlee: Discusses the unkind conditions of Western society that are unkind to the body, such as capitalist urgency culture, burnout, vicarious trauma, and pressure to heal quickly. 

[00:23:31] Marlee: Mentions the additional challenges of body shame, body image issues, disordered eating, and the impact of a culture of fat phobia and objectification.

 [00:24:24] Michelle: Asks Marlee how to approach helping someone with a history of sexual trauma and body discomfort. 

[00:24:49] Marlee: Emphasizes the collaborative and non-expert approach of somatic education, encouraging clients to tap into their body wisdom and recognizing the brilliance of the body's natural processes. 

[00:25:37] Marlee: Suggests asking guiding questions to bring someone into their body, such as noticing sensations and exploring the wisdom of certain body movements. 

[00:26:53] Michelle: Comments on the mindful aspect of the somatic approach and the importance of bringing awareness to the mind-body connection. 

[00:28:19] Marlee: Defines dissociation as numbing or checking out, and explains the freeze response as a self-protective mechanism that can be observed in animals as well. 

[00:31:14] Marlee: Defines glimmers as cues of safety and discusses their importance in the healing process. 

[00:32:31] Marlee: Provides strategies for self-regulation during a trauma response, such as dialoguing with the body, orienting oneself, and using breath and other sensory cues. 

[00:36:19] Marlee: Talks about her current projects, including a documentary and speaking engagements on topics like restorative justice, trauma-informed pleasure,