Isa Sanchez Castañeda: Committing to yourself

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I don't believe in the visibilitythat doesn't come from depth and
come from like, true responsibilityof like, I'm influencing.
Like if we really look at thatword, like I'm influencing people
and I want to do that for good.
So it's just how you, the poweris how you see yourself and
how you challenge yourself.
Hello.
Hello.
And welcome back to the I'm lost.

(00:21):
So what podcast?
If you don't know, my name is CassandraLe and I am super excited for you
all to listen to this episode withmy friend and former client, Isa
Isabella Sanchez Castañeda is theCEO and founder of Isa Media Inc, a
digital marketing agency focused onthe production and strategy of high
converting podcasts for entrepreneurs.

(00:41):
She uses her degree in communication,background in journalism, and love for
marketing to support entrepreneurs as theygrow and share the businesses they love.
She is a proud Colombian American in thePhilly area who is learning to unleash
her petty Pisces energy more each day.
Becoming a business owner for Isa has beenfilled with letting go of old identities
while trying to discover new ones.

(01:02):
And in this episode, we are talkingall about what that actually looks
like, visibility, confidence.
He's just bringing in her podcast tips,and we're even getting into self advocacy.
And gosh, this, this conversationwas just so, so heartwarming.
So I'm excited to share it with you.
Let's get into it.

(01:22):
Hello.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Cassandra Le, and you'relistening to I'm Lost.
So what?
The podcast exploring betweenbelonging and carving your own path
for all the peeps out there who kindof know what you're doing, but still
question what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, I'm with you.
Hey Isa, super excited to have you here.
Hi, thank you so much for inviting me on.

(01:44):
This is going to be a fun conversation.
I always feel like ourconversations are fun.
They go deep and then like talkingabout oppression and all the things.
So, yeah.
And also we definitelybring that Pisces energy in.
So I love that.
But let's just dive into it.
The first question that I loveasking guests on the podcast is,

(02:09):
what does being lost mean to you?
And can you describe thefeeling of being lost?
I think what being lost means tome is being in that space of being
uncertain, like being just in themiddle and the thick of everything.
And you're not quite sure ifYou're going to come out the other

(02:30):
side the way you expected to.
And so I think for me, that hasreally been exemplified by like my
entrepreneurial journey and evenjust stumbling into entrepreneurship.
I feel like it's constantly beinglost, constantly saying, I actually
have no idea what's going on.
And I have to, I haveto pretend that I do.

(02:52):
And even the people who are like, Oh, I'mkeeping it real, keeping it raw over here.
Like you can only keepit so real or so raw.
Until you get to the point where you'remessy and people don't want to pay you.
So, it's like, you're lost- yeah,like, I think just being lost to
me is just that uncertainty and Notknowing if it's going to be worth it.

(03:14):
Mm.
So.
Mm.
Okay, yeah.
I, I think the last thing that yousaid about, like, not knowing if
it's going to be worth it is, like,a big thing as somebody who has
also been stumbling my way through.
And then also something that yousaid was, like, oh, yeah, everybody
acts like they know, but, youknow, they don't really know.
And I was just about to say, like, dopeople really know or are they just kind

(03:39):
of, like doing the best that they can.
And then I also think, especially in theonline business space, a lot of people
are like, I know you must follow me.
And we've talked about this wherethings just sound so matter of fact.
So it kind of like creates this feeling ofshame around being lost and- I don't know.

(04:00):
A lot of people who have also been guestson the podcast, they talk about the shame
and then they also kind of talk about, Oh,well, loss is like finding your own path.
So it's like a duality of like suckiness.
And then also, Hmm, this is kind of cool.
I get to kind of like do thison my own and like, I don't
have to follow the rules.
I don't know if you've hadlike the same experience.

(04:21):
I don't know.
I don't know if I would describeit as fun, like just in this.
Yeah, let's keep it real.
Yeah.
Like I don't, I think it's just,it's so much uncertainty, at least
in the context that we're speakingof it in, in entrepreneurship.
But also I think that it's being lostand being uncertain in the world,

(04:41):
like even as people and not to takeit in that direction necessarily,
but it's like, We are so used tokind of joking about the fact that
we're approaching dystopia every day.
I'm laughing, but this is not funny.
Yeah, like this thing oflike, oh, I'm sick of living
through unprecedented times.
Yes.
It's just like, we're all so lost.

(05:03):
Like, we're all kind ofwondering where it is that we go.
And yes, if you look back far enoughin human history, like, Similar events
have happened, but maybe not justin this conjunction in this specific
way and to these specific people.
And so, I think we're all just really lostand we try to tell ourselves that it's
fun, but most of us would prefer a path.

(05:24):
Most of us would prefer some answers.
Um, and I don't think there'sanything wrong with saying that.
I think like...
Yes, I, I now would not tradeentrepreneurship, but I'm not
going to say that it's fine.
Okay, so that's very real.
I have had like a lot of moments where I'mlike, should I apply for a full time job?

(05:46):
And sometimes I do apply.
So all the people who are listening andif you have been following The Quirky
Pineapple Studio for a while, like we'regoing on six years of business and I
will still apply for full time jobs.
They are the quick andeasy apply on LinkedIn.
So if I have to, like, typeout anything or write a cover
letter, I'm like, yeah, maybe not.
Um, but I do apply to easyapplication LinkedIn full time

(06:07):
jobs, just so you all know.
Okay.
So going from this feeling of beinglost in like the uncertainty and I want
to talk about like visibility becausespecifically in the online space, we talk
a lot about like showing up and like, youknow, sharing your story and something
that I have seen you share a lot with yourclients is that your impact deserves to be

(06:29):
shared, which I find is really important.
Potentially it will relate back to thisfeeling of being lost mainly because,
like, if somebody else is sharing theirstory, then maybe you don't feel so alone
if they have, like, something similar.
So what does this actually meanto you this phrase, like your
impact deserves to be shared?
Yeah.
So when I think of the phrase, thetagline, your impact deserves to

(06:50):
be shared, I often think of theconversation that I have with clients
about them saying, I'm not interesting.
What I do isn't special.
What I am isn't worth talking about.
And then I asked them like, okay,what is it that you help people do?
What do you contribute tothe lives of other people?
And they're contributingsuch amazing things.

(07:12):
They are changing lives in big andsmall ways, and they still don't see
it as something worthy of talking aboutseeing, they don't see it as something
worth taking up space for and with.
And so the tagline that I've usedof your impact deserves to be shared
is kind of to combat that of justlike one to acknowledge the fact

(07:34):
that you do have impact there.
You are creating an impactin the lives of other people.
Again, I'm specifically talking aboutit from the perspective of business
owners, but we all in some way areimpacting the lives of other people,
and I think in the online space, we'vegotten lost with the word impact.
We're like impact driven businesses andimpact driven women and things like that.

(07:55):
But it really is just to create a positivechange in the lives of other people.
And then the second half of deservesto be shared is this thing of
you are allowed to take a space.
You are worthy of communicating topeople that you've done this for
others and can do this for them.
And it's not something that you shouldnecessarily hide just because it's

(08:16):
something that comes naturally to you.
And so it's just I think a reclamationof like you can share what you do and You
should, and there's nothing wrong withbeing really proud of who you are, what
you do, and what you give to the world.
Ooh, I love this, especially becausewith the Quirky Pineapple Studio, we also

(08:37):
do like personal branding and thoughtleadership with our clients, and they
run into very, very similar situationsand like challenges, like a lot of the
times they're looking for like thatCinderella story in their own experiences,
because that's like the trope thathas been played out a lot of the time.
So they're like, okay, my storyisn't, you know, interesting.

(08:58):
My story isn't special.
Like, I'm just kind of doing the thing.
But then I also think about like.
My everyday friends who aren't in businessownership or on entrepreneurship aren't
in the online space aren't creators, andthey've created massive impact in their
own communities, and sometimes it justtakes, you know, me asking like, Oh, wow.

(09:21):
Well, what did you do?
Like, how did people react after?
What was it like?
And They almost feel like bashful,I guess is like the best word to
describe it because they're like,uh, it's, it's nothing like, you
know, I just do this every day.
And I really love, like the second halfof this tagline of like, you're in.

(09:42):
It deserves to be shared and whatyou were saying about, okay, you
deserve to also take up space.
Like you deserve to hype yourself up.
Literally.
Nobody else will unless youdo it first and you can't
expect other people to as well.
Um, so going on more about likevisibility and stuff, uh, before
becoming a podcast producer, youworked and studied journalism.

(10:07):
Well, you worked as ajournalist and study journalism.
What is one of the biggest challengesyou saw in journalism around
visibility that applies to yourwork now, if they can be related?
Because I know like journalismis a little bit different.
Yes and no.
I mean, I think, I think it's interestingthe way you phrased the question, but,
uh, the first thing that came to mindis just there's something that they

(10:28):
teach you when you study journalismof like, if it bleeds, it leads and
that's the negativity is always goingto be more eye catching and more just
scroll stopping than anything else.
And so we are often not used toseeing things in a positive light.
We're not used to seeing stories aboutpeople in a positive light, unless

(10:51):
they are the absolute Cinderellastories where they're rags to riches.
And it's just like this extreme bank.
And so I think that that alsocreates a bias in our mind of
like, I have to be controversial.
I have to be the best and theonly, and the number one always
all the time, or else I don'tdeserve to have the spotlight.

(11:11):
And it's really interesting how that skewsthe perception of our content as well.
Um, on the other hand, I do thinkthat from my experience being a
journalist and studying journalism,that's where I really got the initial
appreciation for everyone has a story.
And like everyone has, if you askthem enough questions, everyone has

(11:34):
something that they want to tell people.
And that they are really looking foran opportunity to put it out there, but
they often aren't given the opportunityor they don't take the opportunity and
the way that that's really translatedis like I'm able to see that It's just
it's there's an a story to uncoverand oftentimes we don't see it if it's

(11:56):
not the most obvious thing it's likethe I don't know, like the, the secret
hero that's actually like the everydayperson and you're finally highlighting
them in that one feature article in themagazine, really being able to see like
everyone has something there, you justhave to ask them the right question.
So I would say kind of that two partanswer of like, I think that oftentimes

(12:18):
journalism skews our perception and,and asks us to see negativity more than
positivity, but at the heart of realjournalism is like, you have so many
stories to tell no matter where you are.
Hmm.
Okay.
So to follow up questions to that firstone, because journalism kind of skews, I

(12:40):
guess, like how we view things, what isan antidote you think to that like bias?
And then I'll follow up onmy other question after.
I'm not sure.
I think, right, like we're gettinginto the territory of we could have a
whole podcast episode, probably withpeople who are much more expert in

(13:02):
journalism than I am about also how,you know, money and the industry of news
has, has made us skew more negative.
So I do think that it's just one ofthose things of like the money involved
changes that, but how do we combatagainst that in terms of like everyday
people or business owners, I would sayhighlighting more of the positive and

(13:24):
I don't mean in the sense of like, likethat website called like good news.
So there's, there's this other sayingin journalism of like, you don't cover
a news story about the plane landing.
You cover a news storyabout the plane crashing.
So it's this thing oflike 99 planes can land.
In an hour, but the 100th one crashesand we only cover that one and we

(13:45):
ignore the 99 and it's like, how canwe recognize the 99 a little bit more?
And maybe this isn't so much aconversation about content, but
this could be a conversation justabout the way that we think about
things and see the world and.
For myself, as someone who's like, a lotanxious, right there with you, right?
Like, allowing yourself to say,Hey, there's 99 things went really

(14:08):
well and we're hyper fixated onthe thing that went really wrong.
And now bringing it back tocontent and this idea of your
impact deserves to be shared.
It's like oftentimes we look atthe nine, we look at the one thing
that we did poorly, or we look atthe one skill that we don't have.
We look at the one client.
We couldn't help and somehow negate the99 that we did help the 99 skills that

(14:29):
we do have the 99 trials and experimentsand experiences that we did have.
And so I don't know if it's necessarilytied back to journalism, but just as a.
Skewing, not evenpositive, but more neutral.
It's like the facts in front of you,which is you've probably done 99 things.
Well, and it's only one thing.
In this moment that you'rekind of hyper fixated on.

(14:51):
Oh, yes.
And actually, I'm taking it to therapylol, my therapist would be so happy.
So I think I brought up somethingsimilar to her in a couple sessions
ago, where like, I have like this,the extreme case where I was just
like down in the dumps all the time.
And she basically said, like, thesame thing, like, we need to look for

(15:13):
evidence, really that like, We've doneamazing things and this was just like
an anomaly situation that doesn't meanthat you can't like, kind of look at
the situation and kind of see and like,ask yourself, like, what did I do?
What, like, was my responsibility inkind of arriving to the situation?

(15:34):
Most of the time for me, it's not settingboundaries, hello, I'm working on it, but.
That's kind of like, okay,I've learned from it.
I, I know this was like an anomalycase, but look at like, well, what she
says to me is like, look at all of theother amazing things that you've done.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Okay.
You're right.
Like, I'm not a shit.
I remember I told her I was like,sometimes I think I'm a loser.

(15:56):
She's like, you did not justsay, say that to me in therapy.
She's a good one.
You're like, She's happy she'sgetting to send another invoice.
I'm kidding.
She did.
She was like, wow, let's unpackthat in 10 more sessions.
Seriously.
She's like, what?
Yeah, but I think it's,I think it's hard, right?
Like I also, I'm not someone whobelieves in cancel culture in the sense

(16:20):
of it's not actually is big of a threatas big name people make it out to be.
But I do think that we are, we do livein an era specifically that it fixates
on our mistakes, fixate on the missteps.
And in some cases it's just,and in other cases it's like a
misunderstanding that went wrong.

(16:40):
And so it's natural that our brainthat's already primed towards negativity
because of survival combined with alwayshaving a camera in our face, everything's
always being recorded, everythingcan be cut and misconstrued for us
to hyper focus on the mistakes or thethings that we could have done better.
Yeah, that is a whole other conversation.

(17:00):
I think that I have exploredin life coaching, but we'll
save that for another day.
Okay, the second question that I wanted toask, which I don't even know if I remember
now because I was like listening to youranswers like, Oh, yeah, this is so good.
Okay, well, I can't remember it.
If I do, I will come back to it.
Okay.
So around visibility and all of thesethings, what would you consider to be,

(17:22):
I guess, the power of visibility though,and like putting yourself out there,
whether that's like, if you are anentrepreneur, business owner, if you are
a creator, if you're a personal brand,or if you're just like, um, I don't
know, a regular person who's like, livein life, sharing their story or wanting
to share more of their story or theirmessage, or even just like the impact
that they've had, what do you considerto be the power of it, especially for

(17:43):
folks who have marginalized identities?
I think this does tie back toyour impact deserves to be shared.
It has to start with youacknowledging that you have something.
Worthy of sharing and the likeunderlined there is like we all have
something worthy of sharing, right?
But to sit down and record something tosit down and write something and put it

(18:08):
out on a blog to create a real no matterhow shitty, even if it's a trending audio.
And I know we love toshit on people for like.
Like using trending audiosor for just copying things.
There are so few people who could actuallysay, I'm going to do this and I'm going to
put it out and I'm going to expose myselfto whatever other people have to say.

(18:30):
Like that is a big deal.
And you're really putting out therethis message of, I have something
that I think people should listen to,and it's constant work to sit with
yourself and say, yes, that's true.
Like what I have to say is true andwhat I have to say is worth sharing.

(18:52):
And then the second part of that is, andif it's not, if I feel like it's not.
How can I build the proof for myselfto say that it is and to give you an
example of that, like what I recentlyshared this on, on my podcast of, you
know, sometimes I would post episodesthat kind of were true, like kind of

(19:16):
were, were things that I knew, butlike, I only knew from like a textbook
standpoint, like I had read them in abook and I was trying to put them out, but
then, uh, There's a very big differencebetween the episodes that I knew
because I felt I'm like I embodied them.
I had done experience in them and soit's it's this thing of like you're
acknowledging visibility is acknowledgingI have something worth saying and then

(19:39):
also committing to yourself to continueto be the person who has something worth
saying because I don't know why I'mthinking of like the people on TikTok
who talk about like healing trauma,but they have no sort of, um background
or licensure or any sort of likeAyurvedic, like, like, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't have to be a Westernlicense, but like they don't have

(20:00):
any sort of background and they'retalking about very loudly about,
hey, I know how to heal trauma.
And that's an instance where like,maybe they have something worth
sharing, but they need to take asecond to Reflect on like, am I
congruent with what I'm sharing?
Am I sharing it in a safe way?
So this is, my answer has sincegotten muddied, but the idea of like

(20:22):
the power of visibility is reallyone: I think it's internal first.
It's always internal first.
It's always you saying I'm the person who.
Is going to put myselfout there and be visible.
I'm going to make that intentional choice.
And with that choice comes theresponsibility of good visibility of
ethical visibility of safe visibility,not safe in the sense of like comfort

(20:43):
zone safe, but safe in terms of I ambeing responsible with what my audience
is consuming because I put it out there.
And so once that internal power, whichis long and which is why we have so many
conversations about imposter syndrome andso many conversations about influencers
who, you know, rise to fame, but thenturn out to be like, not ready for it.

(21:06):
Or they turn out to belying about something.
It's all these things.
It's because like, it's that, thatinternal decision to be visible.
It's actually reallydeep and really scary.
And then I think the power, what mostpeople think about with visibility
is the external power of visibility.
Like, yes, you're going to get moreopportunities or you're going to be
so much more out there that you'regoing to get new brand deals or you're

(21:29):
going to get business or da da da.
You're going to be known,you're going to be recognized.
And like those external thingsare great to think about.
I don't believe in, at least formyself and for my clients, I don't
believe in the visibility that doesn'tcome from depth and come from, like,
true responsibility of, like, I'minfluencing, like, if we really look

(21:52):
at that word, like, I'm influencingpeople and I want to do that for good.
So it's just how you, the poweris how you see yourself and
how you challenge yourself.
Mmmm I love this.
Okay.
So much to unpack there.
Let me see if I can pullout some of these things.
Okay.
So the first one that you saidwas like committing to yourself.
Uh, that actually leads me tothis follow up question that I've

(22:14):
got, but I love the concept thatyou said about like committing to
yourself, not just like to show up.
But then I think.
all of the behind the scenes thingsthat most people don't realize.
Like, I can say I commit to myselfto show up and post, um, like, five
things on Instagram for the next week.
Um, and that is, yes, a commitment, butthen also what you were saying, too,

(22:36):
about, like, really understanding thepower and responsibility you now have
chosen not really to take on becausetechnically you've already, you've
always had that, like, you've always hadthis power and you've always had like
technically this responsibility justas like a citizen of whatever country
you're from, or if you are a citizen ofthe world, then you've kind of already

(22:59):
had like that power and responsibility toshow up and kind of just make the world a
better place, whether you're an active orpassive person in it- that is up to you.
But, um, I do think when you'redeciding to get visible, it's now
like you've, how do I say this?
It's like, you've become awareof that power and responsibility

(23:20):
and you're like actively choosingto do something about it.
Because once you decide to step out andget more visible, whether that's online
or even just within your community.
Like, let's say you decide to stepup into a leadership position in,
like, a volunteer program that youare part of, or you decide to step

(23:42):
up in your community because you wantto, I don't know, be an organizer
for an event or something like that.
Like, that is actively 1.
bringing consciousness tothat power and responsibility.
And then also, I think justcommitting to yourself that, okay,
I, I'm going to take this furtherthan what I've already been doing.

(24:03):
So on all of that, I want to diveinto like the committing to yourself
specifically to something that you sharearound your podcast framework, which
is committing to your concepts and Iwould love to know what that actually
means, of course, on the podcastingside, but then on like a human level,
like what does committing to yourconcepts or yourself actually look like?

(24:28):
Yeah.
Um, so committing to yourconcepts is a framework that I use
inside of my podcasting offers.
And in that context, it means tolook at what you use regularly in
your business because I primarilywork with business owners.
What are the frameworks, the processes,the concepts, the philosophies that

(24:48):
you use day in and day out withyour clients that you are ready
to fully stand behind and that youwere ready to fully explain and say.
I actually know what this is, andI'm doing this with intention.
The larger goal behind that, though, is tohave people take a conscious approach to
podcasting and a conscious approach to thecontent that they put out into the world.

(25:12):
Because from personal experience, whenI first started my podcast, it wasn't
necessarily a conscious approach.
And not that I was putting out anythingdangerous or anything like intentionally
ignorant, but it was just one of thosethings where I was like waking up.
Thinking of something and then puttingit out there and it was, it was what it
was like, I don't think it was inherentlybad, but it was me putting out ideas that

(25:38):
weren't fully formed in my brain thatif somebody were to come back to me and
be like, explain to me episode five ofyour podcast and why you said what you
said, I would be like, I have no idea.
I just it just.
And I recognize the harm that that did tome in the sense of like, not actual harm.
I didn't, again, I didn't get canceled.
I didn't like say anything wild, butthe harm that I did in terms of the

(26:04):
business reputation that I was building.
So I wasn't being.
Responsible for or carefulwith or intentional with what
I wanted to be known for.
And I want to clarify that it'snot like a irresponsibility in
like a negative way, but it wasjust like it was so willy nilly.
It was just like whateverwould fall out of my mouth.
And I think a lot of people approachcontent that way right now, especially

(26:26):
like on Tiktok, where it's supposedto be such an off the cuff medium,
but you just like go and you have athought and you immediately express
it and there is no buffer in between.
Mmm, yeah.
And I think that while that leadsto some funny moments, it leads to
some viral videos, it leads to somelike, good ideas, things like that.
I think it also is justlike, so...careless.

(26:50):
And, and there's so much content nowadays.
There's so much like people are, we'rejust drowning in things to consume that
I really hold the standard now for myselfand for my clients of committing to your
concepts is if you're going to put itout on your podcast, maybe your social
media is different, but like if you'regoing to put it out on your podcast, I
want it to be something that you can lookback at and be like, at the time of that

(27:14):
publication, I fully stood behind that Iput my whole chest into saying that and
I'm proud that I said it not, Oh, that wasjust something that fell out of my mouth.
And so that's whatcommitting to your concepts.
Really is as a concept itself.
And then as a framework, it's just maybethe way that we kind of flesh that out.

(27:35):
But we are very rarely asked tostand behind what we say because
we're so used to just saying.
saying and saying and saying and saying,and then we're like, what did I just say?
And I, I just, you know, I justrecorded, um, my 100th episode.
Congrats, by the way.
Thank you.

(27:55):
But like part of me, part of me is so likenot celebrating that milestone because
Sixty of those episodes were just likeword vomit and other people love them
like I that's why I'm very careful ofnot taking away what the merit of what it
was, but like those 60 episodes weren'tcrafted and intentional and committed

(28:16):
the later like 35 or so, I sat downand I scripted, even if I didn't take
as much time as I would have loved to.
I sat down and I set up a fancymicrophone and I put lights up and there
was so much duration in the process.
That I'm like, I standbehind that episode.
I knew what I was saying during that.
I put it together rather thanjust like, oh, it's this thing.

(28:38):
I said the other day.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Love this.
There's something thatI wanted to touch on.
I think.
Yes, totally agree.
There's so much fucking content right now.
I love content, you know, like I've beencreating content since I was 13 years old.
So it's been like almost 20 years.
Just gave my age away.

(28:59):
Um, so now you all know, but the, Ithink the art of like digital content
creation has changed so drasticallyand something that I always talk about,
um, with our clients with like personalbranding and like thought leadership is
a lot of the times, like, and this kindof goes back to, like, the journalism

(29:20):
thing, too, like, if it bleeds, it leads.
I've never heard that before,but I, it's gonna stick with me.
It's very visual, actually, that, thatwhole thing, but a lot of people think,
oh, I need to pull, like, a controversialstory out so that I can get views, or I
need to pull, like, trauma, and I thinkI talked about this in season one, in one

(29:42):
of the episodes, I'll have to see whichone it was, but, like, trauma porn um,
for content and what you're basicallydoing is airing out your dirty laundry.
And if that's like what you want todo, and you can stand like kind of
what you said was saying earlier,like, if you can stand behind that
later on, by all means, like, I'mnot here to like content police you.

(30:02):
But a lot of the times like when you'regoing through that process, like you don't
have like the space that you need to fullyprocess, like what you just went through,
what your feelings or emotions were, what,like, your responsibility was in it or
what the other person's responsibility.
If it's like a 2 person, 3 person thing,you're basically just kind of like digging

(30:27):
and mining your life for content orstories at this point to get some sort
of like external validation for it, ornot even validation it could be like, if
you're a business owner, external, I mean,sales, like, I remember back in the day.
Um, maybe this was like 2018at this point, 2017, 2018.

(30:50):
I had worked with some mentors thattold me, Oh my gosh, like when I cried
doing my Facebook live, that was likethe most engaged piece of content ever.
And afterwards I made four sales.
So I'm like, yeah they said thatand then afterwards they were like,
I'm not saying cry on a Facebooklive, but like, you got to get real.

(31:13):
You got to get like, super real andyou got to like, put yourself out
there and you got to like, keep it raw.
And yes, I'm all for like, keeping itreal, keeping it raw, not totally sure.
That's, you know, safe sex, y'all.
Um, if you want to take it that way.
I see your face right now.
Isa's like, Oh my gosh.
No, I agree with you so much,though, because I think like we've

(31:36):
turned authenticity into a buzzword.
And I'm not the first person to saythis in the online space at all.
Yeah.
It's like oversharing is not authenticity.
Hmm.
Rawness is not authenticity.
It's it's.
I used to say, and I do have anepisode that I did, you know, spit out
of my mouth, but it was still good.
It's this whole idea of like, I don'twant to bleed all over the internet.

(31:58):
Like, I don't, I don't need to.
And I think I've, over time,it's just been so interesting.
Over time, I've become more and moreprivate about my personal life and the
personal things that I'm processing inmy content, on my podcast, everything.
Because I'm just like, whydo y'all need to know that?

(32:20):
Like, why, what is the point?
And like, there's a difference betweensharing my story or like, how in
Christian spaces people would say,like, sharing your testimony versus
me just like not having anythingworthwhile to say about my expertise.
So I'm going to tell you about,like, how I cried on Saturday.
Like, it's just it's so and I don'tblame people for doing it because

(32:41):
I do think that that's what we see.
Going back to the journalismthing, we see bell, we see the,
the viral video of the girl crying.
We see the video of like thepeople pranking their partner and
it turning into this big fight.
And so we're like, Oh my God,I got to do the same thing.
Or we see those things being rewarded.
So we just try to do the thingsthat are going to be rewarded.

(33:04):
But going back to the committingto yourself part, it's like, well,
what am I going to be proud of?
And what am I going toenjoy putting out there?
And to me, this actuallyties back to another thing of
like, this, uh, trauma porn.
This oversharing is actually, it canbe easier for some people than putting

(33:27):
effort into doing something well.
And what I want to add nuanceto that is like, I'm not saying
that vulnerability is easy.
Vulnerability, genuine vulnerability,where you are sharing yourself
intentionally in a way that protects youand the person receiving the message.
That is brave.
That is courageous.
That is-
ooh, I just got goosebumps.

(33:47):
Yeah.
But the, but going online and saying,this is the story of how I almost
died and I almost took everyone withme and there's no sort of trigger
warning and there's no sort of likeanything you just want attention.
That is, I think a betrayal to yourselfand a betrayal to your audience.
And maybe in that moment you're,you are doing it because someone

(34:07):
else told you to, or becauseyou didn't know what else to do.
But that's not something thatI think you will be able to
stand behind a year from now.
And like, there's just somuch reconciliation of those
icky feelings that happen.
Yeah.
Okay.
So from that, because I feel like wegot to, I want to know what does then
committing to your concepts look like?

(34:30):
What is it?
How can it be applied to just like?
Us as humans, not us as like businessowners, entrepreneurs, content,
creators, personal brands, thoughtleaders, like just you and me, like me,
Cassandra, you, Isa, I have no titles.
I have no business.
Like what would like committing to myconcepts or to myself really look like?

(34:53):
And I love that you also mentioned likesometimes when you are like going out
there and just trying to be authentic and.
The vulnerable that is quote unquotevulnerable you betray yourself in the
process so yeah, I, I would love to knowwhat that means or looks like for you.
So I wouldn't say that committing toyour concepts applies to us as humans,

(35:14):
just because the idea of having aconcept and having a framework and having
a philosophy feels very commercial.
Like, it's very, it's, it's, Iintentionally meant to be packaged
and sold, which is why it's a conceptand why I use it with entrepreneurs.
I had a conversation in therapywhere it was like, I used to be
an oversharer in my personal life.

(35:35):
So I used to be someone who took a lotof pride in, whenever I meet someone,
like we don't have any small talk, we getright into our deepest, darkest secrets.
And I used to be able to like say,you know, you know that kind of
thing of like, oh my gosh, I havethe deepest conversations even
with the strangers on the bus.
Mm.
Yeah.
And.

(35:56):
I had, I'm trying to remember exactlyhow it was brought up to me, but it
was like, that's actually a way that'sactually a protection mechanism here.
It's actually something that you don'tbelieve that people would genuinely like
who you are and culture would want tocultivate a relationship with you over

(36:16):
time So you think that if I just puteverything out on the table the first time
they meet me They can just reject me rightthen and there this thing of oversharing
not because I was honoring the value of mystory not because I'm honoring the power
of me sharing my truest self, but becauseI was actually just trying to like get

(36:39):
it over with, and it was so interestingto have it framed in that way and then
connecting it back to content, right?
Of like, what does it mean for youto honor what you've been through
in a way that isn't For publicconsumption when it hasn't been earned.
And so, it's this thing of like,and what I had in that therapeutic

(37:03):
conversation was like, do youunderstand that someone hearing
that story of yours is a privilege?
Yeah.
That you opening up to someone is aprivilege, not something that should be...
Just give in a way.
And so, so I think when youthink of that, it's not about
committing to your concepts.
It's not about packaging up an ideal.

(37:24):
It's not about never beingable to change your mind.
It's more about like, have you thoughtthrough why you're sharing what you're
sharing and to whom you're sharing it?
In that specific context.
Oh, my gosh.
I love, love, love this.
And something that you were like,when you were talking, I was
imagining, like, I don't know if youdid this, um, back in middle school.

(37:46):
I had acne and wow, we're takingit all the way back to, like, my
teenage angst Tumblr years right now.
Okay.
So back in middle school, I had acneand I think something that I always
did, maybe not to my friends, butmaybe to, like the popular crowd,
I would say like, Oh my gosh, like,Oh, this pimple is like bothering me.

(38:06):
Like, I would always pointout the pimple first.
And I feel like, I mean, pointingout your pimple is not the same
thing as like, oversharing yourstory, but like, it's like the same.
It's like you trying to say,like, I'm going to get me first.
Yes.
Which kind of is sad in a way because it'slike, well, maybe they didn't even notice.
Or I'm talking about the pimple, butthen also sad because it's like you

(38:30):
didn't give the person a chance eitherto get to know you like you've robbed the
opportunity of like true deep connection.
I mean, we're talking about thepimple right now, but like in other
situations to like if you're tryingto get yourself first, which actually
goes into this question that I hadfor you about self sabotage when we

(38:56):
try and like self sabotage in thesesituations, it does rob somebody the
opportunity or if we're talking about,like, personal human connection yes.
And then also, if we want to take it tocontent or like, business, it robs them
of potentially working with you and like,receiving the transformation that only

(39:18):
maybe you could help them with or thesupport that only you could give them and
what they absolutely, fully, truly neededat this moment in time in their business.
Yeah, a friend of mine and I alwaystalk about, at least in the past few
months, we've been talking about how ifyou frame people pleasing as actually

(39:38):
being emotionally untrustworthy.
Okay.
Stop people pleasing because thething is if I, so let's go with
the middle school pimple example.
If I am always saying like, Ohmy gosh, the pimple, like it.
And you're like, it's fine.
And like, or whatever were in middleschool, you try to pretend that you liked

(39:59):
everything that the, that the populargirls did, and you wore the same clothes
as them, even though you hated it, oryou told them that you watch the same
TV show, even though you didn't, becauseyou were trying to get them to like you
for the version you think they would likethat is being emotionally untrustworthy
because they can't trust that you willbe your fullest self and they can't
trust that anything that you say is true.

(40:22):
And so when we take thatnow into adulthood, right,
of like people pleasing of.
You don't tell your friend that youdidn't want to go to that restaurant.
You go along with it andthen you feel resentful.
Now they can't trust your yes or your no.
Because they don't understand if youryes was a genuine full hearted yes or
if it was just you going along with it.

(40:44):
Now, just to connect it to content, andI love that we're like separating the
two but kind of going between the two.
Yeah.
So combined, but with content is ifyou're trying to people please in
your content you're being emotionallyuntrustworthy with your audience in that
they can't really know if you believewhat you say, you believe if, if the

(41:05):
things that you put out there are reallygenuine to you and your brand and how
it's going to be like to work with you.
And so they now don't know what they'regetting and you're actually doing them a
bigger disservice by having them buy fromyou when they don't actually know what
your brand is about because they can'ttrust that you're going to be honest.

(41:27):
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
I was just thinking about likemanipulative marketing, but that is like
a whole conversation for another day.
Um, okay.
So I, I love this-
-and I say just with manipulativemarketing is like, I know that we have
in the past few years really like tosay like, Oh, we're not bro marketers.
We're not like doing XYZ.

(41:48):
But here's the one thing is thatbro marketers have never, not
never, but most bro marketersare not hiding their tactics.
They're not love bombing you and I'veseen actually the people who are trying
to do the opposite and say I'm not abro marketer, actually then go in and
be like I'm trying to be your friendconnection over dollars Like I'm trying

(42:08):
to be your friend before you pay me.
It's like no, you're not and actuallyyou going through the trouble of
trying to have a conversation withme through the DMs about my dog or
about Starbucks Just so that youcan pitch me is gross and dirtier.
Walked in and been like hey,babe trying to buy from you or
trying to get you to buy from me.

(42:28):
Do you want it or not?
Yeah.
And so it it's one of those thingswhere I actually I'm like I prefer
the bro marketer who's just gonna Tellme that they're selling me something
versus the, the person who's like, I'mnot that I'm, I'm attraction based.
I'm just going to talk to you aboutStarbucks until I wear you down enough
for you to pay me and then make youfeel guilty because we're besties.

(42:51):
Now, what do you mean?
You're not going to join my mastermind.
Oh, my gosh.
So actually, the entire time that youwere explaining this, I literally was
imagining Regina George from Mean Girls.
And for the people who have seen it,then you'll know what I'm about to say.
But if you haven't, then You just won't.
Or you might.
I don't know.

(43:11):
You might know the memes.
But there's a scene in the movie whereshe looks at Caddy, where there's like
another girl, she's wearing a skirt,and she tells this girl, Regina George,
Oh my gosh, your skirt is so cute.
Where'd you get it?
And the girl was like, Oh,well, it's from my mom.
It's vintage, blah, blah, blah.
And then the girl walks away.
And then she looks at Caddy, whois Lindsay Lohan's character.

(43:32):
And she goes, that is the fugliestskirt I've ever seen in my entire life.
But she's like playing nice becauseof course she wants to maintain
her like bad bitch top dog status.
And everybody wants to be Regina George.
But that's like theexact same thing almost.
Later in the movie Caddy.
Like she compliments her bracelet.

(43:53):
Yeah.
And Caddy immediately knowslike, oh, she's lying.
Yep.
And so it's this thing of justlike, we're kind of doing the
same thing in the online space.
And it's, it's, and this has actuallycome up, not that this is necessarily
our focus, but like I very plainly saythat my podcast is to make sales now
since I made a shift in my business.
I say it's a sales focused podcast.

(44:14):
It's something that's meantto turn listeners into buyers.
I'm actively selling yousomething every single episode.
And I never hide that because at the endof the day, I am in business for a reason.
And if I sit here and go, I justwant everyone to be so happy and in
love and la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
But then I'm in the back end beinglike, but why won't you buy my stuff?

(44:35):
Like.
I'm being dishonest.
And I've gotten some pushback onlike, well, if it's a sales focused
podcast, there's no community.
And I'm like, yeah, becauseI have a community of people.
I have friends.
I have support systems.
I have business friends.
I have business acquaintanceswho I'm genuine and honest with.

(44:55):
And I'm genuine and honest withmy clients, but the relationship
is what the relationship is.
Yeah.
And, like, it's just, it's reallyinteresting that the online space tries to
blur that line so much, because, like, mydoctor does not pretend to be my friend.
He will send me the invoice.
Yes.
My plumber, my plumber comesin, does a job, and leave.
Like, he's not trying to be my friend.
He's not coming and being like,Hey, girl, your bathroom is so cute.

(45:19):
Have you checked your pipes, though?
No, he's just going-
can you imagine?
-You're leaking.
Like, and it's just, and,and, and, I appreciate that.
Just tell me that you'reselling me something.
If I want it, I want it.
If I don't, I don't.
Yeah.
Which so taking this from likeadding a little bit of nuance to
this, because I, I mean, we workedtogether and I do consider us friends.

(45:41):
I would hope that you say the same.
Don't say it on this podcast.
If we're not, uh, text me later.
Oh, gosh, publicembarrassment if it's a no.
Um, but I was just thinkinglike my parents, so they owned
a spa for 20 plus years and.
They had like a very similar relationshipto what you were just describing, like my

(46:02):
mom hard cold sales, but that doesn't meanthat, like, she's not personable with it.
So she did do this thing where, like,like, she knew her position in the
relationship was to make the sale andthe clients that we had at the spa
knew that my mom was trying to sell.
Yes, she like, you know, went out of herway to be like a little bit more kind if

(46:26):
somebody said that they really love thesecookies that we got from HMart for all the
people who aren't from the United States,that is mostly a Korean supermarket.
So they sell like Korean food ingredientsand- I think other things they even
have like a food court in there, butwe bought these like cookies from
H Mart that like one of the clientswho is white really, really liked.

(46:49):
And she, the client, I rememberone day was like, where'd
you get these cookies from?
This is a little bit of a rant.
So y'all just stick with me.
Um, so she was like, where'dyou get these cookies from?
My mom was like, Oh, I went to H Mart.
It's in this part of thecity, blah, blah, blah.
And knowing my mom was like, Hmm,I don't know if this woman is

(47:09):
going to walk into an H Mart andknow where to get these cookies.
So the next time we went to HMart, my mom just bought like an
extra pack and gave it to her.
Yes, that's not like trying to be yourfriend and like always talking to you
about like Starbucks because like atthe end of the day, She just had like
a great relationship with this person,but also my mom was a business person,
a business owner, a businesswoman, asalesperson, and she knew, okay, well,

(47:33):
also, this person maybe will spendmore, but not in like that manipulative,
Oh, my mom's going to go out andlike make friends with everybody.
I don't know.
It's like, and I think that thenuance here though, the nuance
is I'm not telling anyone.
And I want to be clear, like I'm nottelling anyone, you know, never DM a
person, never become friends with aperson, never like this kind of stuff.

(47:54):
It's more the being a fake friendin order to get someone to buy.
So, and I really think this is aconversation about boundaries in the
sense of, yes, we are friends, butduring the, the months that we were
working together doing regular calls,it's not like I would call you and
we would have a friend conversationand I'd be like, yo, by the way, like

(48:16):
my content though, can you check it?
Like go on Google docs right now.
Like there was still an understandingof like, when are we friends and
when are we in business mode?
And it's really interesting because theonline space does really blur those lines.
And it's like, Oh, I thought we weregoing out to lunch or we were having a
call about like, maybe we were talkingabout our feelings around business.

(48:37):
We're not necessarily expectingcoaching from one another or
we're not expecting service.
And so I have, I have friendswho have become clients and they
still have a contract and I haveclients who have become friends
and they still have a contract.
They know.
And it's also up to me to establish thatlike, you have a 90 minute call with me.

(48:57):
And during that 90 minute call, we'regoing to talk about your podcast and
any other time that you text me anyother time that you're on the phone
with me, we can be like, your podcastis cool, but I'm not going to sit
there and review one of your episodes.
Yeah.
And that's emotional honesty, though.
Yeah.
Because if instead I hated this andit hasn't happened to me recently,

(49:17):
but like, sometimes I would get peoplein my DMs being like, let me know if
you have any questions about content.
Like, I'm more than happy to help.
And then you come in and you'relike, Oh, Hey, you offered that.
Like, here's my question.
And they go, Oh, 99 or like nine,nine, seven to get into the container.
I only answer questions in there.
Then from the beginning, you shouldn'thave been like any question, just ask.

(49:41):
You should have been like, Hey,would love to keep chatting.
If you do have questions aboutcontent, I'm going to keep
that for my paying clients.
I hope you understand.
Yeah.
Let's just be for real.
We all have bills to pay.
Yeah.
So it's just a conversationabout boundaries.
I'm not saying that likeyou can never do that.
And I believe in going theextra mile for your clients.
I believe in like, Hey, if, if you tellme that it's impossible for you to find

(50:02):
the microphone that I have here in theU S because you're in Spain and you were
a client of mine for podcasting, I'dbe like, okay, let's make this happen.
Let's go.
The extra mile for your client.
But if you weren't my client, andthat wasn't a thing that we were
open to doing and friendship,like, let's also not expect that.
Yes.
So this is going into such a greatconversation because, and I have

(50:24):
more questions for you, but I want tolike continue talking about this for
a little bit more something for allthe people who like want to become a
creator or a personal brand businessowner, entrepreneur, whatever,
something, how do I want tosay this.
So something that I see a lot is like, youcan't expect your friends to be clients.
First thing first.
I do feel like sometimes that getsinto like blurred territory where

(50:47):
like everybody's feelings get hurt.
And then there's a lot ofresentment that gets filled up.
I've gone through it.
You just got to what he'salways saying, like, make it
really clear from the beginning.
But then also, if this is for all thepeople who are friends of people who
are business owners are entrepreneursare creators are personal brands like

(51:08):
you, this might be coming from a littlebit of a sassy point of view, but like,
I do think that if you kind of want toenter into that realm, you also have
to be mindful that, like, this personis doing this as their job and, or this
person is trying to do this as their jobso that they can get paid, which means

(51:31):
that this person probably invested theirtime, energy, and hard earned money
into, like, development programs sothat they can figure out how to do this.
Um, that does not mean that youget to ask really for free, like,
oh, can you help me with this?
And because, like, we're BFFs, I'm justgonna, like, lay it all down for you.

(51:53):
I do think like that is also, itkind of goes both ways, you know,
like you can expect your friendsto be your clients all the time.
And then also if you are thefriend of somebody who runs a
business, like you can't expectthem to give it to you for free.
Yeah.
And I really think it's just a matter oflike, heck, you can't over communicate.
Like, it's just, you just need to belike, Hey, I'm giving you this, but

(52:15):
you need to give me this in exchange.
You're like, Hey, I'm onlygiving you half an hour.
I think going back to theemotional honesty thing, like if
you're inviting someone to lunch.
And you, you think that that, thatpaying for their lunch is equivalent
to a pick my brain session.
Tell me that.
Tell me that you're invitingme to lunch because you want to
hear my opinion about business.
Don't tell me that you're invitingme to lunch to like catch up with me.

(52:37):
And then the only thing you do ispester me with like business questions.
And, and there's nothing wrongwith like saying, Hey, can I invite
you to lunch and pick your brain?
Because then that way I havethe full ability to consent.
Yeah.
Gosh, even you just saying that, um,it reminds me of like way back in the
day when I first started business.
And I think a lot of people in my network.
And maybe they didn't know.

(52:57):
So, you know, and I also didn'tfully communicate, but like, I
do feel like it, like actuallybrought out a visceral reaction
of, oh, I'm gonna say no for real.
Like as quick as possible becauseI don't know, I, maybe there's like
some things for me to work out intherapy around that, but I'm like a
lunch bitch, like that is not enough.
Like you better be buying me like a fullbuffet all you can eat Korean barbecue.

(53:22):
lunch, which is like 50.
Um, not like a sandwich at panera.
Right.
And there's room to be generous.
Like, I don't want it to sound like, Ohmy God, I'm so much better than everyone.
Like my information is hundredsof thousands of dollars.
Like there's room to be generous, butno, like I really do think, though,
coming from a personal responsibilitystandpoint, like, it's also up to us to

(53:44):
be like, Hey, I'm not cool with that.
Like, or even saying like, Yeah, Iwould love your invitation to lunch,
but I want to really have a break frombusiness conversation during that time
being proactive, like being proactive andcommunicative on all sides so that there's
there's not that people pleasing becausethe other thing is going back to that.
Like, sometimes you get to the lunch, yourealize it's a pick my brain session for

(54:04):
a Panera sandwich and you go along withit instead of saying, Hey, I actually am.
really wanted to catch up withyou as a friend and I thought that
this was a genuine invitation.
Can you, you know, can wework something out here?
Yeah.
And being honest about it.
And then just because we've kind ofbeen flip flopping, like going to
content in your content, be straight up.

(54:25):
Yeah.
You are not interested in peoplelike I'm not saying do the whole
like no dms like Don't do that.
But if someone comes into yourDM slides in hot and is like,
Hey, can you give me these tips?
Know whether or not you're gonna givethat to them with no expectations You're
going to give me tips in the DMS andthen it hold me to buying from you.

(54:46):
Like don't give me the tips at all.
Yeah hmm.
Oh, I love this.
Um, I feel like this could be awhole conversation within itself.
Something that you were like when you wereexplaining all of this, it just reminded
me of the vulnerability aspect becauselike we were talking about vulnerability
in authenticity and all that stuff.
And like, yes, I think you said it'semotional trustworthiness, right?

(55:07):
To people please is to beemotionally untrustworthy.
To be emotionally trustworthy is to be
-Honest, communicative, like, real.
So this is something that I've beenexploring in therapy, just like within
my own journaling, and that's that whenyou have emotional trustworthiness,
it really, personally, I think, um,puts you in a place to be like super

(55:31):
duper, duper vulnerable because you'reactually like expressing how you feel,
uh, something that I struggle with.
So these are like, now y'all know myconversations in therapy, but something
that I struggle with, like really sayingin the moment, like, Hey, that hurt me
and like laying it out for the personand then detaching yourself from the

(55:55):
expectation of how they could react.
And this goes more.
So in my personal relationships, thenlike with clients or like followers
on Instagram or anything like that,because like, I mean, it's, it's a
big deal to kind of just like lay itall out and vulnerably and honestly
be like, Hey, no, I, I thoughtthis was like a real friend lunch.

(56:20):
Like, I didn't want to talk about businessand I actually feel hurt a little bit
because I might have misunderstoodand that it's like, Oh, scary.
And even when we, like, if we want totake it back to content, like, honestly,
even saying like, Hey y'all, the contentthat I share is stuff that I feel.

(56:40):
There's something I think I said inseason one, like some things that I
feel really comfortable sharing thingsthat I've worked on when you all ask
me like really personal questions thatlike breaches my boundaries because
these are parts of me that I don'twant to give to you and not in like a,

(57:01):
Oh, I'm like over here and you know,I'm a little bit cooler than you are.
So I'm not going to, you know,it's only for my inner circle.
No, like, these are real things thatlike, I just want to keep to myself.
Like, yeah.
I don't need to giveto you, which is scary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think in all of those pieces,it really comes down to self advocacy.
I had a conversation with a clientactually very similar to this where she

(57:26):
would message me and and say, hey your-and this was like, this happened like
twice where she was like, Hey, the waythat I have my schedule laid out right
now, the, your call availability, I canmake it work, but it would really be
so helpful if we could just push thecall by half an hour and go past five.
And what I told myself is I sawthis on a real one time, which was

(57:49):
people is specifically clients.
Clients are allowed to ask for anything.
And I'm allowed to say no to anything.
Both people are allowed to do it all.
And then the expectation is like, And thenwe have a conversation about it, right?
Yeah.
Because some people and I've seenthis, like, especially as you scale,
some people are like, how dareclients not honor my availability?

(58:10):
How dare clients not honor my process?
How dare clients not do X, Y and Z?
And then it's like, no, they're justthey're allowed to ask the question
and I'm allowed to have a response.
So with this client, I said yes.
And then it happened again.
And I, I really pulled her aside andwas like, Hey, I really appreciate
how willing you are to advocatefor yourself and what you need.

(58:32):
And it was also, it wasn'tjust the timing thing.
It was that she's neurodivergent.
And so she really had a hard timelike writing everything down.
She wanted to...
Talk it out loud.
And so she asked me if that wassomething that I could accommodate.
And I said absolutely.
But I wouldn't have known thatshe needed and wanted that
accommodation had she not advocatedfor herself when I pulled her aside.

(58:54):
And I said, Hey, thank you so muchfor advocating for yourself because
I now don't have to worry that youare secretly resenting working with
me or that you are having a needunmet that you can't communicate.
I now trust that if somethingcomes up, you will address it.
Yeah.
And that has created a client relationshipwhere I'm able to be like, does this work?

(59:19):
And I know that her answeris going to be real.
Yeah.
And you can take thatexample into everything else.
Yeah.
Like your ability to say, Hey, I'mactually not cool with this conversation
makes it so that there's no secretresentments and there's none of that,
but it takes so much effort and abilityto be like, I'm worth advocating

(59:41):
for and being like, if I need anaccommodation, I deserve it and don't
deserve it in terms of entitlement.
Like I'm not, I don't deserveyour time unlimitedly, right?
Like this client wasn't askingfor more than 90 minutes.
She was simply saying, Hey, canwe just shift that 90 minutes?
And she was also okay with me saying no,but that ability to ask that ability to

(01:00:03):
say, Hey, this is something that I need.
It's like she had to first say, Hey,I actually deserve this accommodation.
Yeah.
And so I celebrate people when theydo that, whether it's clients or
friends, because I know how hard it is.
The reason that most peopledon't do it is because they're
not celebrated when they do it.
They're called a problem.
They're told that they are annoying.
They're told that they are crossing-they're like, how dare you?

(01:00:26):
Like, how dare you ask for that?
When instead it's like, everyone hasthe full right to ask and everyone
has the full right to say no.
And when you can keep those two thingsin mind, then self advocacy doesn't
have to be this terrifying thing.
Yeah, and I, I love, love, love,love everything that you're saying
and it just reminds me that likewe really do live in duality.

(01:00:50):
Of yes, everyone can ask, andalso you can say no, and then the
conversation for like, whateverit is, whether it's clients, brand
deals, it could be with your friend,it could be with your partner.
Whomever, um, that's where you get tolike create in that like twilight zone

(01:01:12):
that I've talked about on this podcastof like, that's where the magic really
happens because then you got to createsomething totally new than what you both
were kind of like functioning, workingon, um, before you get to create something
even deeper, you get to create like.
This whole other opportunity orpossibility of how you both show up in the

(01:01:32):
relationship, which I think is amazing.
Okay, so I know we could talk about likeall of these things even further, but I
want to do some rapid fire questions aboutpodcasting and then we will wrap it up.
Okay, so rapid fire questions quickly.
What is a piece of advice thatyou would share for people who are
starting a podcast optimizing theirpodcast or already doing awesome

(01:01:55):
yet they are getting kind of bored.
Following the vein of everythingwe've been talking about.
Commit to your concepts, choose atopic that you can go really deep in
and still stand behind something thatyou're confident speaking in and will
still challenge you a little bit.
But again, that that piece of like it'ssomething that you're going to speak

(01:02:16):
about with them rather than just likewhatever you can think of that day.
Love it Is that the same forthe optimizing podcast and then
already doing awesome yet knowingthey're kind of getting bored.
Yeah, so I think that the Right, likethe way I would nuance that is like if
you're just starting start that way Ifyou're someone who's optimizing it's
like i'm going to bet you that you'veput out some episodes where you were just

(01:02:37):
like I just need to make sure I have anepisode this week like you weren't doing
it with intention and then getting boredI would say getting bored is usually
like you're not like that challenge piecelike you're not challenging yourself
to go deeper to do better to script alittle more or to think of a new way to
come up to talk about the same thing.
But you're more able to do all ofthat when you're like, okay, I know

(01:02:59):
the sandbox that I'm playing in.
Love that.
Love that.
So for all the people who are potentiallythinking about starting a podcast, or
you're already doing awesome, but you'regetting bored, commit to your concepts.
Literally what we were talking aboutthroughout this entire episode.
Okay.
Last question for all the last questions.
Is there a nuanced conversation thatyou think we're not having enough of?

(01:03:20):
I think we just had so many on this.
I know.
Right.
Okay.
But for my online service providersand entrepreneurs, specifically
growing their business throughInstagram, I think that conversation
of like, where are your boundaries?
Where are the lines around your content?
What is necessary to share?
And what's not like that nuancedconversation is just one that we
can't have enough because we needto be able to exist and create

(01:03:44):
content without selling our souls.
Love that.
And then for the humans who are listening?
Oh, for the humans, for the humans, Ithink, I think then it's the same thing
of like, how can you build connection?
Maybe not with an audience, but howcan you build a connection with your
community, with one to one friends, withpartners, with work friendships that
are true and feel really good to you andstill honor where you're at in life, which

(01:04:08):
means advocating for yourself, havingboundaries, knowing what you do want to
share with which people at what time andbeing able to honor that in all instances.
Oh, I love it.
Um, thank you for sharing all of that.
I love this conversation.
So to wrap this up, I love endingeach episode with a journaling

(01:04:29):
prompt, exploratory question oractivity for people to explore more.
Do you have like a journaling promptor an exploratory question, activity
that you can share with folks?
Yeah, so I'll do 2 prompts.
The different parts of our conversation.
So based on the latterhalf, we'll start backwards.
Where in your life?

(01:04:49):
Could you be more emotionallyhonest through self advocacy?
And that can look like asking yourselfwhere do you need to set a boundary?
Where do you need to askfor an accommodation?
Where do you need to re explorethe dynamic of a relationship?
Maybe it was one thing and nowyou want it to be something else,

(01:05:11):
whether that's more or less.
Where can you explore emotionalhonesty through self advocacy?
And then going back to the beginningof the conversation, really,
what does the responsibility thatcomes with visibility mean to you?
Hmm.
Oh, a such good journaling prompts.

(01:05:32):
I'm going to have to talkabout these in therapy.
Anyways.
Um, okay.
He said, thank you so,so much for being here.
It has been such a pleasure tohave this conversation with you.
I feel like we've chatted inbusiness, we've chatted as friends,
and now I feel like I just getto know you a little bit more.
Can you share if you have anything thatyou're excited about in the upcoming
months and where people can reach you?

(01:05:53):
Yes, absolutely.
So what I'm excited about,I'm really excited about my
podcast having just hit 100.
It'll be a little bit further thanthat by the time this comes out.
So you can find my show Visible withIsa Media Inc on Spotify, Apple,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Like I mentioned, it's going to be alot about podcasting and visibility and
marketing with little bits and piecesof myself when I feel comfortable.

(01:06:18):
And then I'm also really excitedbecause I'm launching a group program
for any folks who are starting theirpodcast for the first time and want
to start it in a way that reallyhonors who they are, but positions
them as an expert at the same time.
And it'll be 12 weeks.
The first cohort will start in October.
So if you're listening to this afterthat, uh, there will be more cohorts.

(01:06:39):
So you can find all that information onisamediainc.com, Isa Media Inc . Com and
yeah, thank you so much for having me.
Oh, this was amazing.
Uh, for all the people who arelistening, I hope you take some time
to potentially re listen to thisepisode because I feel like there
were so many good things in there.
Thank you so much.
If you want to continue theconversation, you can send me a

(01:07:00):
DM on Instagram @CassandraTLe.
But other than that, I will talkto you all in the next episode.
Stay fierce, fam.
If you're hearing this message, that meansyou made it to the end of this episode.
Yay, thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andthought to yourself, whoa, it me,

(01:07:23):
I'd love if you could share this withothers, post about it on social media,
and or leave a rating and review.
Don't forget to subscribe too.
Want to hang out with me inother areas of the internet?
You can follow me onInstagram @CassandraTLe.
For brand message and contentmarketing tips and resources.
Check out my business@TheQuirkyPineappleStudio.
Thanks again, and seeyou in the next episode.

(01:07:45):
Stay fierce, fam.

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