18: Chara for Commissioner

(September 25, 2022) The intercontinental brain cell twins are at it again. We're talkin' childhood milk commercials, the Sens' new leadership, everything narratively appealing from media day, and more.

 

Links in the Notes

Representation station

• Kraken Alexandra Mandrycky AGM. 

Off the ice

• Jimmy Stu signs his big deal. What he’s doing with the money. Getting called out by his agent. 
• Nazem Kadri makes 1 million dollar donation to London hospital. 
• Patrik Laine’s off-season drip: UNO shoes. 
• Captain Nick. Alternate captain Glaude Giroux. NHL leadership discussion: what do the teams look like?
• Brock Boeser interview (I’m not crying, you’re crying). 
• Mass retirement: Chara (Maple Leafs roast), Yandle, Subban. Good thing PK already has a new job. 
• Why no organ, Caps?
• Only Brendan Gallagher would get punched in the nose during a hug. 
• Everybody to the lobby! Smoke alarm! 

Goalie segment

• Designed by Anderson Junior: goalie pads. 
• Sorokin summer goals: stop pucks. 
• James Reimer helmet wtf. James Reimer breaks in his pads. 
• Pekka and Juuse: reunited and it feels so good. 

Media day

• Prospects judge the shootout attempt. Bordeleau, Rossi, and Brisson judge Reichel. 
• The Tkachuk brothers are not artists. 
• Why is Trevor Zegras in a cactus costume?
• Art of Steve Dangle. Roasted by Mrs. Dangle. 
• Crosby vs Fleury prank war. 
• NHL rules: Barzal has some notes. 
• Omg they were roommates: Lapierre & Iorio. 
• Werenski will only fight Dylan Larkin. 
• Kaprisov is going to need to backcheck - new dad Zuccarello is too tired.
• Jordie Benn likes milk.  
• Trevor Zegras is also not an artist. 

Social media

• Robert Thomas versus Logic. Chess match. 
• CMPunk does not like the Pens. He’s previously