December 7, 2022 • 19 mins
Triplets, David, Philip, and Peter were adopted when they were four years old and had never known the identity of their birth father. They hoped appearing on DNA Family Secrets and having their DNA analysed could solve the mystery of their ethnicity.
Professor Turi King catches up with Peter, 2 years after they filmed the episode, to see what happen after the show aired.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
So today I'm talking to Peter, who was one of our contributors on the first series of
DNA Family Secrets, and he was actually on the programme with David and part of a set of triplets,
but the third triplet Philip, wasn't able to take part because he was shielding,
and we were filming during the pandemic.Okay so I think we need to start at the very
(00:22):
beginning because some people may not have seen the television show. So, at the heart of your
story is essentially that you're a biological mum met your biological father, fell pregnant
and then sadly fell ill and passed away when you boys were really young,
and you then ended up growing up not knowing anything about who your biological father was.
(00:46):
So, my adoptive mummy was always very open in talking about our birth family and what happened
and why we were adopted, and we had books made when we were adopted, you know, that puts it quite
simply, you know, it didn't really hide anything.My adoptive parents always said they would be as
(01:07):
open and informative and honest as they could, to the circumstances as to why we were adopted, and
they would always support us if we ever went to look for our families. So, it's something that's
always in the back of our minds, we've always been curious about it, and then having children of our
own, I think, makes you see the world differently in a way, and that made that curiosity grow,
(01:33):
for me anyway. And we started talking about it more and more then as our children got older,
to a point where we thought were settled in our lives, I think you need to be settled. We
always discuss between us that if we were ever going to look for our birth family,
we need to be in a good settled structured place ourselves, emotionally, physically,
(01:55):
everything, to do it right. And as the years and months and weeks rolled on, that desire grew,
to a point where we found the opportunity then that we might be able to actually achieve this,
you know, and then we sat down and thought, do we want to do that. And we were all of the same
opinion that, without a doubt let's do it, we've got each other what's the worst that can happen,
(02:20):
we come away with no answers and that's where we're at, at the minute, we’ve nothing to lose.
And then presumably you chatted to your adoptive parents and?
Yes, so that was quite a nervous conversation because I remember ringing my mummy, obviously she
lives in Wales, and talking to her and trying to build up to it and she's very intelligent, so she
(02:40):
knew where this was going. So by the time I said, you know, we're thinking of actually trying to
find our biological father, she without hesitation was, you know, saying I'm very proud of you and me
and your daddy will support you every step of the way, you know, it's not going to be easy,
you might find answers that you don't like, but we will be here, as we've always been here
(03:03):
because you're our boys, you know, and you'll always be our boys, and she reminds us of that
all the time. And even though we're grown men now, you need that from your mummy. So,
to have that support behind you, just encouraged us even more to find those answers.
So, what happened with your mum?So, my mummy was single at the time, you know,
she wasn't married, I don't think she had planned to have children at that point in her life,
(03:27):
and she was faced with a situation where she was pregnant with three boys. Now I’m a father
myself and its hard work, and I can imagine having three the same age was really frightening for her.
She became unwell and then unfortunately she succumbed to that, you know, she died,
and we were two, three, at the time. Because we didn't know who the father was at this point,
(03:55):
whenever she died, we then were in a crisis.So presumably your mum's parents take you on?
Yes so, we live with them, we lived with foster parents here and there, you know,
during the whole process of finding suitable parents for us. So that was quite hard on
(04:15):
them. Obviously, I know they felt really guilty about having to give us up for adoption, but at
the same time knowing that that's what we needed.It's that really difficult decision with knowing
that they can't give you the care that they would want to give you and so finding people who can?
Yeah really hard, you know, and the older I get the more I can understand how hard
(04:35):
and appreciate how hard of a decision that is, because it's a risk as well,
you know, they're probably thinking, what if we get into your family that isn't suitable,
how are their lives going to turn out? So I'm always trying to sort of think to myself am I
making my mother proud, you know, I'm going make my grandparents proud, because all the
effort and sacrifice that's gone into raising us, you know, from my biological family, to my
(05:01):
adoptive family, I owe it to them to try and be a good person, and a good father myself, you know.
And boy oh boy did they find the right family, I mean, that was so clear in the programme. And
you could just really feel just how much kind of love there was in the household growing up and…
Like my grandfather whenever my potential adoptive parents, you know, will come and visit,
(05:24):
you know, and speak to him and he was quite protective of us and he always told us that
as soon as he met Mike and Anne he just knew there was something warm about them,
and something special about them and, you know, he was really right because what they did for us
was life-changing. And they've turned us into the people we are today, they really are good people.
(05:44):
So, I do remember when you first came your main thing was you kind of wanted
to know where your father was from, were you really wanting to find who your biological
father was or was that mainly that you were just wondering where he was from or what?
I think we wanted to find out who he was, where he came from, we weren't too sure
(06:06):
if we wanted to even contact him at that point, and we just decided between us that we'll take
it step by step, you know, if we find out information about him and his family and,
you know, maybe probe that a little bit, and then sort of sit down and decide what do we do next.
So obviously we kind of do this in two parts, so you come, and I chat to you, and I find out what
(06:29):
you would like to know, we do DNA sampling and then you guys go away and you've got then several
weeks, months, of waiting, until you come back. So how was it, were you nervous when you come into
kind of find out the results, on that result day?Yes, because we knew that day would be significant
for us. It would be a significant piece to the puzzle, and we didn't know how it
(06:53):
was going to go. We didn't know if we'll get any answers and we were quite apprehensive,
but we had each other, I think if I had been doing that on my own, I'd be much more nervous,
having, you know, a close sibling, especially a triplet sibling with you is really beneficial.
And that's the thing, I mean it was really nice because you had David with you, so,
and one of the things that really comes across is just how close you guys are.
(07:17):
We've always been close, I think being adopted together as well,
we needed each other, you know, we were going from a family straight into another family,
but if you've got two brothers who you've known since day one, that bond just strengthens.
So, for me, I mean, I knew for sure from when I first met you that from the DNA results,
I would be able to tell you something about where your biological father was from, but there
(07:42):
was quite a surprise that came up in it. So, we could tell that your biological father's father,
so your paternal grandfather, must have come from Northwest Africa, so it was sort of Liberia,
Sierra Leone, this kind of thing. So, was that a surprise when I gave you?
(08:03):
It was a surprise, it's not even a region that I had even contemplated that we might be from,
so that was a big surprise. Then whenever you were explaining about, you know, the ports in Liverpool
and, you know, that sort of makes sense, and it turns out it was from Freetown, Sierra Leone,
(08:23):
you know, it's been great to then look into the country since, obviously we've
got roots there and what that country's been through and it's a part of your heritage.
Yeah, I mean this is the thing the DNA results can kind of give a region, can't give you a
country necessarily, so we could tell you that, but then obviously the biggest thing… I gasped
actually when I saw the results about how your biological father, his mum must have come from,
(08:49):
and all the matches were coming sort of Northern Ireland and kind of into Scotland,
where you expect to find, but had really centred around South Down and North Louth, and I remember
going so just tell me where it was that you guys grew up? And it was exactly the same area.
So, we grew up in County Down, I don't know much information about my paternal grandmother,
(09:15):
she died before we were born and so did our grandfather, but I know that it's somewhere
in the Down area, close to Newry I think it is. That's really all I know on that side.
But what was that like?Where we live now has always felt
like home to me, it's where we grew up and it just cements that for me, knowing that you've got roots
(09:37):
in this area, gives you a sense of belonging.The other thing I found kind of quite remarkable
is that actually this is not where you were adopted from, but your wonderful
adoptive parents had actually moved you to the area, you couldn't make it up really.
So, my adoptive grandmother is from this area and that’s why we moved here. My adoptive mother came
(10:01):
over here in summer holidays, loved it over here and thought one day, you know, I'll move here. She
even had a house over here that she used to go by and think I would love to own that house one day,
and that house then came on the market, and my father went, you know what let's do it, and that's
what we did, best decision we ever made.Oh, that's so sweet, I just loved all the
(10:22):
kind of coincidental things that kind of came together on your particular story.
So, the next bit was a little bit harder because actually we had found a close DNA match,
and from looking at that and then doing a little bit of digging on sort of the genealogy side,
we could see from your DNA matches that it came down to one of two brothers. so,
(10:49):
James or Samuel. And this close match was actually showing that it could be a half-sister, or a first
cousin and we knew that her dad was James and that was slightly pointing to your biological father
being Samuel, and if that was the case, we knew that he'd passed away about 10 years previous.
(11:12):
And I remember how lovely you guys were because, I mean, it's one of the really difficult things is
you don't know how somebody's going to react when you contact them to say, hi we're doing
this television programme and we think we might have found some people who are related to you,
and to try and get more information and sometimes they just really don't want that contact. You
(11:33):
don't know where they are in their lives, and I remember how lovely you both were about all that,
but how did all of that feel, I mean, first we're able to kind of give you a name as to
who we think it is, but then you've got this slightly more difficult side of it.
We had thought about it a lot before that and the situation arising that the family might not
(11:56):
want to know. They might have their own things going on in their lives, they might not be ready,
we fully understood that, so we were well prepared for that which helped, because it turned out that
the family that we had contacted, it's not that they didn't want to know, it was just difficult
for them, difficult for everybody involved, but we were well prepared for it, it wasn't a big shock.
(12:18):
So that was how it was left in the programme and your case, it was one of the ones that kind
of generated an absolute ton of social media and press and there was real sympathy for you in it.
When it went out we did get attention from it but we were at a point where we just wanted to focus
(12:38):
on our families emotional health, because it's quite a personal thing and then as it got bigger,
you know, and we found obviously our birth family, we really just wanted to focus on
making contact with them and doing it right.Yeah, because what happened next because
the programme goes out.Yeah.
(12:58):
And something else happens next, what happened?And it's something really unexpected. So,
whenever the programme finished, you know, we got those answers and we were happy with that,
we thought, you know, we've got the final piece to the puzzle. And then after the
show aired the team contacted us and said, although the birth family didn't really want
(13:20):
to have any more to do with the show, at the time, other family members have come forward
and they didn't know anything about this really until the show was aired, you know,
and they would be delighted to meet you and try and see where we can go from there.
Oh, that's so lovely, so who's been in contact?So, it would be our first cousins, they would be
the daughters of my Uncle Sammy. I remember being in a car park, with my son in the car, and we just
(13:47):
pulled up and I took this phone call and it just blew me away, it's not something I ever expected
to happen, you know, we were told you've got other family members or they've seen the show,
you know, and they'd really like to meet you at some point, you know, obviously in your own time.
And then from there the show arranged, you know, that we could have email contacts, you know,
(14:08):
just take it step by step, and they gave us lots of information about our birth father
and my uncle Jimmy, or James. And then as the months went on, we learned more and more and then
actually Kerry and Jenny came to visit us for our birthday. And this was a surprise, my brother's
(14:28):
wife actually arranged it with them, and we were having a birthday party and they just arrived.
Oh, my goodness.You know, and we'd seen
pictures of them before, but we weren't expected it at all, just for them just to walk in the door
was something I'll never forget. Quite a strange feeling because you don't know these people and
they don't know you, but you know you're related, you're closely related, and that's quite strange.
(14:50):
So, tell us what you know now about your biological father, it was Samuel?
It was Samuel yep, Sammy. So, he obviously died about 10 years ago, he and his brother were
really close like us. He grew up in Liverpool, the whole family did, and he had children of his
(15:12):
own as well, you know, a son and a daughter which would be our half-brother and sisters,
you know, and all these people are keen to be in contact with us, so we had lots of information
flooding in. And we were able to build, you know, a bigger picture of who our father was, where he
came from, who his family were, and that has just been a brilliant experience. We've taken it quite
(15:35):
slow, but what's really nice is being able to speak with my uncle James or Jimmy, because he was
the closest to my father and he's the one I'm able to have long conversations with about his quirks,
you know, what it was like, funny stories from his past, what his personality was like, his likes,
(15:55):
his dislikes, the difficulties they faced as brothers being mixed race, you know. So,
he's able to identify with what we went through growing up. And he enjoys talking about, you know,
his brother, they were obviously very close, and he enjoys seeing us being so close, because it's
(16:16):
quite evident to him how close we are, and that's because of everything we've gone through. And I
think that's why he was so close to his brother, you know, because they did go through quite a lot,
but they had each other and they knew they had each other, you know, and they often reminded
each other that, I'm here for you, as we do. And every conversation I had with him
(16:39):
gives me a better picture of who my father was.And emotionally, I mean, it must be huge, because
you've gone from having very little information to, as you say, you now are learning more and more
about who your biological father was, you now have this whole other family and it must be massive,
(16:59):
what's it like going through all this?It's positive. I thought it would be quite
scary, but it really isn't. And because they've been so welcoming and forthcoming with information
it's been easy. Every interaction we have with them gives us a stronger connection,
(17:20):
and every step of the way I'm able to share that with my adoptive family.
I go through pictures with them, you know, and I can see similarities like my brother Philip,
he's got two girls and then we have a half-brother Carl and he's got two girls,
and you would know they were related and these are things that we never dreamed would have happened,
(17:45):
we thought we might not get any answers from all of this. We never dreamed that we'd be sitting
two years later with, you know, half-brothers, sisters, it's been a good experience all around.
So, having been through all of this do you feel it's worth it because I get people who contact me,
and they have got similar questions and they're wondering about do they open that door?
(18:10):
From my experience I 100% would do it because, I always thought if I was saying eight years old
and I look back and I didn't do it, how would I feel? You would regret it massively. And I'm
so glad that we did it because it's got us to where we are now. We're not curious anymore,
we have all the information we need, we've got support around us, and we've got answers
(18:34):
that we needed. So, I'm 100% certain that what we did was the right thing and anybody that's
thinking of looking for a family or reaching out or looking for answers, you should definitely do
everything within your power to get those answers. Everybody deserves to know who their family are,
(18:54):
whether it's their parents, grandparents, half-brothers, sisters, whatever it may be,
everybody I think deserves to know. And if you can get the opportunity to get the answers, take it.
Peter, it has been so lovely to chat to you again,
I feel so privileged to have been a part of your story.
So today I'm talking to Peter, who was one of our contributors on the first series of
DNA Family Secrets, and he was actually on the programme with David and part of a set of triplets,
but the third triplet Philip, wasn't able to take part because he was shielding,
and we were filming during the pandemic.Okay so I think we need to start at the very
(00:22):
beginning because some people may not have seen the television show. So, at the heart of your
story is essentially that you're a biological mum met your biological father, fell pregnant
and then sadly fell ill and passed away when you boys were really young,
and you then ended up growing up not knowing anything about who your biological father was.
(00:46):
So, my adoptive mummy was always very open in talking about our birth family and what happened
and why we were adopted, and we had books made when we were adopted, you know, that puts it quite
simply, you know, it didn't really hide anything.My adoptive parents always said they would be as
(01:07):
open and informative and honest as they could, to the circumstances as to why we were adopted, and
they would always support us if we ever went to look for our families. So, it's something that's
always in the back of our minds, we've always been curious about it, and then having children of our
own, I think, makes you see the world differently in a way, and that made that curiosity grow,
(01:33):
for me anyway. And we started talking about it more and more then as our children got older,
to a point where we thought were settled in our lives, I think you need to be settled. We
always discuss between us that if we were ever going to look for our birth family,
we need to be in a good settled structured place ourselves, emotionally, physically,
(01:55):
everything, to do it right. And as the years and months and weeks rolled on, that desire grew,
to a point where we found the opportunity then that we might be able to actually achieve this,
you know, and then we sat down and thought, do we want to do that. And we were all of the same
opinion that, without a doubt let's do it, we've got each other what's the worst that can happen,
(02:20):
we come away with no answers and that's where we're at, at the minute, we’ve nothing to lose.
And then presumably you chatted to your adoptive parents and?
Yes, so that was quite a nervous conversation because I remember ringing my mummy, obviously she
lives in Wales, and talking to her and trying to build up to it and she's very intelligent, so she
(02:40):
knew where this was going. So by the time I said, you know, we're thinking of actually trying to
find our biological father, she without hesitation was, you know, saying I'm very proud of you and me
and your daddy will support you every step of the way, you know, it's not going to be easy,
you might find answers that you don't like, but we will be here, as we've always been here
(03:03):
because you're our boys, you know, and you'll always be our boys, and she reminds us of that
all the time. And even though we're grown men now, you need that from your mummy. So,
to have that support behind you, just encouraged us even more to find those answers.
So, what happened with your mum?So, my mummy was single at the time, you know,
she wasn't married, I don't think she had planned to have children at that point in her life,
(03:27):
and she was faced with a situation where she was pregnant with three boys. Now I’m a father
myself and its hard work, and I can imagine having three the same age was really frightening for her.
She became unwell and then unfortunately she succumbed to that, you know, she died,
and we were two, three, at the time. Because we didn't know who the father was at this point,
(03:55):
whenever she died, we then were in a crisis.So presumably your mum's parents take you on?
Yes so, we live with them, we lived with foster parents here and there, you know,
during the whole process of finding suitable parents for us. So that was quite hard on
(04:15):
them. Obviously, I know they felt really guilty about having to give us up for adoption, but at
the same time knowing that that's what we needed.It's that really difficult decision with knowing
that they can't give you the care that they would want to give you and so finding people who can?
Yeah really hard, you know, and the older I get the more I can understand how hard
(04:35):
and appreciate how hard of a decision that is, because it's a risk as well,
you know, they're probably thinking, what if we get into your family that isn't suitable,
how are their lives going to turn out? So I'm always trying to sort of think to myself am I
making my mother proud, you know, I'm going make my grandparents proud, because all the
effort and sacrifice that's gone into raising us, you know, from my biological family, to my
(05:01):
adoptive family, I owe it to them to try and be a good person, and a good father myself, you know.
And boy oh boy did they find the right family, I mean, that was so clear in the programme. And
you could just really feel just how much kind of love there was in the household growing up and…
Like my grandfather whenever my potential adoptive parents, you know, will come and visit,
(05:24):
you know, and speak to him and he was quite protective of us and he always told us that
as soon as he met Mike and Anne he just knew there was something warm about them,
and something special about them and, you know, he was really right because what they did for us
was life-changing. And they've turned us into the people we are today, they really are good people.
(05:44):
So, I do remember when you first came your main thing was you kind of wanted
to know where your father was from, were you really wanting to find who your biological
father was or was that mainly that you were just wondering where he was from or what?
I think we wanted to find out who he was, where he came from, we weren't too sure
(06:06):
if we wanted to even contact him at that point, and we just decided between us that we'll take
it step by step, you know, if we find out information about him and his family and,
you know, maybe probe that a little bit, and then sort of sit down and decide what do we do next.
So obviously we kind of do this in two parts, so you come, and I chat to you, and I find out what
(06:29):
you would like to know, we do DNA sampling and then you guys go away and you've got then several
weeks, months, of waiting, until you come back. So how was it, were you nervous when you come into
kind of find out the results, on that result day?Yes, because we knew that day would be significant
for us. It would be a significant piece to the puzzle, and we didn't know how it
(06:53):
was going to go. We didn't know if we'll get any answers and we were quite apprehensive,
but we had each other, I think if I had been doing that on my own, I'd be much more nervous,
having, you know, a close sibling, especially a triplet sibling with you is really beneficial.
And that's the thing, I mean it was really nice because you had David with you, so,
and one of the things that really comes across is just how close you guys are.
(07:17):
We've always been close, I think being adopted together as well,
we needed each other, you know, we were going from a family straight into another family,
but if you've got two brothers who you've known since day one, that bond just strengthens.
So, for me, I mean, I knew for sure from when I first met you that from the DNA results,
I would be able to tell you something about where your biological father was from, but there
(07:42):
was quite a surprise that came up in it. So, we could tell that your biological father's father,
so your paternal grandfather, must have come from Northwest Africa, so it was sort of Liberia,
Sierra Leone, this kind of thing. So, was that a surprise when I gave you?
(08:03):
It was a surprise, it's not even a region that I had even contemplated that we might be from,
so that was a big surprise. Then whenever you were explaining about, you know, the ports in Liverpool
and, you know, that sort of makes sense, and it turns out it was from Freetown, Sierra Leone,
(08:23):
you know, it's been great to then look into the country since, obviously we've
got roots there and what that country's been through and it's a part of your heritage.
Yeah, I mean this is the thing the DNA results can kind of give a region, can't give you a
country necessarily, so we could tell you that, but then obviously the biggest thing… I gasped
actually when I saw the results about how your biological father, his mum must have come from,
(08:49):
and all the matches were coming sort of Northern Ireland and kind of into Scotland,
where you expect to find, but had really centred around South Down and North Louth, and I remember
going so just tell me where it was that you guys grew up? And it was exactly the same area.
So, we grew up in County Down, I don't know much information about my paternal grandmother,
(09:15):
she died before we were born and so did our grandfather, but I know that it's somewhere
in the Down area, close to Newry I think it is. That's really all I know on that side.
But what was that like?Where we live now has always felt
like home to me, it's where we grew up and it just cements that for me, knowing that you've got roots
(09:37):
in this area, gives you a sense of belonging.The other thing I found kind of quite remarkable
is that actually this is not where you were adopted from, but your wonderful
adoptive parents had actually moved you to the area, you couldn't make it up really.
So, my adoptive grandmother is from this area and that’s why we moved here. My adoptive mother came
(10:01):
over here in summer holidays, loved it over here and thought one day, you know, I'll move here. She
even had a house over here that she used to go by and think I would love to own that house one day,
and that house then came on the market, and my father went, you know what let's do it, and that's
what we did, best decision we ever made.Oh, that's so sweet, I just loved all the
(10:22):
kind of coincidental things that kind of came together on your particular story.
So, the next bit was a little bit harder because actually we had found a close DNA match,
and from looking at that and then doing a little bit of digging on sort of the genealogy side,
we could see from your DNA matches that it came down to one of two brothers. so,
(10:49):
James or Samuel. And this close match was actually showing that it could be a half-sister, or a first
cousin and we knew that her dad was James and that was slightly pointing to your biological father
being Samuel, and if that was the case, we knew that he'd passed away about 10 years previous.
(11:12):
And I remember how lovely you guys were because, I mean, it's one of the really difficult things is
you don't know how somebody's going to react when you contact them to say, hi we're doing
this television programme and we think we might have found some people who are related to you,
and to try and get more information and sometimes they just really don't want that contact. You
(11:33):
don't know where they are in their lives, and I remember how lovely you both were about all that,
but how did all of that feel, I mean, first we're able to kind of give you a name as to
who we think it is, but then you've got this slightly more difficult side of it.
We had thought about it a lot before that and the situation arising that the family might not
(11:56):
want to know. They might have their own things going on in their lives, they might not be ready,
we fully understood that, so we were well prepared for that which helped, because it turned out that
the family that we had contacted, it's not that they didn't want to know, it was just difficult
for them, difficult for everybody involved, but we were well prepared for it, it wasn't a big shock.
(12:18):
So that was how it was left in the programme and your case, it was one of the ones that kind
of generated an absolute ton of social media and press and there was real sympathy for you in it.
When it went out we did get attention from it but we were at a point where we just wanted to focus
(12:38):
on our families emotional health, because it's quite a personal thing and then as it got bigger,
you know, and we found obviously our birth family, we really just wanted to focus on
making contact with them and doing it right.Yeah, because what happened next because
the programme goes out.Yeah.
(12:58):
And something else happens next, what happened?And it's something really unexpected. So,
whenever the programme finished, you know, we got those answers and we were happy with that,
we thought, you know, we've got the final piece to the puzzle. And then after the
show aired the team contacted us and said, although the birth family didn't really want
(13:20):
to have any more to do with the show, at the time, other family members have come forward
and they didn't know anything about this really until the show was aired, you know,
and they would be delighted to meet you and try and see where we can go from there.
Oh, that's so lovely, so who's been in contact?So, it would be our first cousins, they would be
the daughters of my Uncle Sammy. I remember being in a car park, with my son in the car, and we just
(13:47):
pulled up and I took this phone call and it just blew me away, it's not something I ever expected
to happen, you know, we were told you've got other family members or they've seen the show,
you know, and they'd really like to meet you at some point, you know, obviously in your own time.
And then from there the show arranged, you know, that we could have email contacts, you know,
(14:08):
just take it step by step, and they gave us lots of information about our birth father
and my uncle Jimmy, or James. And then as the months went on, we learned more and more and then
actually Kerry and Jenny came to visit us for our birthday. And this was a surprise, my brother's
(14:28):
wife actually arranged it with them, and we were having a birthday party and they just arrived.
Oh, my goodness.You know, and we'd seen
pictures of them before, but we weren't expected it at all, just for them just to walk in the door
was something I'll never forget. Quite a strange feeling because you don't know these people and
they don't know you, but you know you're related, you're closely related, and that's quite strange.
(14:50):
So, tell us what you know now about your biological father, it was Samuel?
It was Samuel yep, Sammy. So, he obviously died about 10 years ago, he and his brother were
really close like us. He grew up in Liverpool, the whole family did, and he had children of his
(15:12):
own as well, you know, a son and a daughter which would be our half-brother and sisters,
you know, and all these people are keen to be in contact with us, so we had lots of information
flooding in. And we were able to build, you know, a bigger picture of who our father was, where he
came from, who his family were, and that has just been a brilliant experience. We've taken it quite
(15:35):
slow, but what's really nice is being able to speak with my uncle James or Jimmy, because he was
the closest to my father and he's the one I'm able to have long conversations with about his quirks,
you know, what it was like, funny stories from his past, what his personality was like, his likes,
(15:55):
his dislikes, the difficulties they faced as brothers being mixed race, you know. So,
he's able to identify with what we went through growing up. And he enjoys talking about, you know,
his brother, they were obviously very close, and he enjoys seeing us being so close, because it's
(16:16):
quite evident to him how close we are, and that's because of everything we've gone through. And I
think that's why he was so close to his brother, you know, because they did go through quite a lot,
but they had each other and they knew they had each other, you know, and they often reminded
each other that, I'm here for you, as we do. And every conversation I had with him
(16:39):
gives me a better picture of who my father was.And emotionally, I mean, it must be huge, because
you've gone from having very little information to, as you say, you now are learning more and more
about who your biological father was, you now have this whole other family and it must be massive,
(16:59):
what's it like going through all this?It's positive. I thought it would be quite
scary, but it really isn't. And because they've been so welcoming and forthcoming with information
it's been easy. Every interaction we have with them gives us a stronger connection,
(17:20):
and every step of the way I'm able to share that with my adoptive family.
I go through pictures with them, you know, and I can see similarities like my brother Philip,
he's got two girls and then we have a half-brother Carl and he's got two girls,
and you would know they were related and these are things that we never dreamed would have happened,
(17:45):
we thought we might not get any answers from all of this. We never dreamed that we'd be sitting
two years later with, you know, half-brothers, sisters, it's been a good experience all around.
So, having been through all of this do you feel it's worth it because I get people who contact me,
and they have got similar questions and they're wondering about do they open that door?
(18:10):
From my experience I 100% would do it because, I always thought if I was saying eight years old
and I look back and I didn't do it, how would I feel? You would regret it massively. And I'm
so glad that we did it because it's got us to where we are now. We're not curious anymore,
we have all the information we need, we've got support around us, and we've got answers
(18:34):
that we needed. So, I'm 100% certain that what we did was the right thing and anybody that's
thinking of looking for a family or reaching out or looking for answers, you should definitely do
everything within your power to get those answers. Everybody deserves to know who their family are,
(18:54):
whether it's their parents, grandparents, half-brothers, sisters, whatever it may be,
everybody I think deserves to know. And if you can get the opportunity to get the answers, take it.
Peter, it has been so lovely to chat to you again,
I feel so privileged to have been a part of your story.
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