February 29, 2024 • 55 mins
Amplify your laughter with Josh and Ac in Season 4, Episode 37 of their comic podcast straight from their eclectic spare bedroom studio. Indulge in raw humor, unfiltered randomness, and an unmatched banter that keeps the tone of the show light and invigorating. This episode serves you some of the most amusing anecdotes - from Josh's pathological fear of dentists and aggressive drivers to a hilarious 'road rage' incident that will leave you in splits.
Don't miss out on the unexpected treat - a taste test for Dr. Pepper flavored Peeps! Pay your tributes to the late co-inventor of Pop-Tarts while discussing real-life ludicrous realizations that strike a chord. Tune in for a delightful, comedy-packed journey soaked in amusing twists and turns.
Join us as we wade through intense discussions and gripping stories. From a controversial road rage incident to profound thoughts on popular conspiracy theories, we got you covered. Get ready for some crazy insights into the Bigfoot myth, controversies surrounding the moon landing, and the media-engineered COVID-19 theory. But that's not all. Gear up for absolutely hilarious discussions on topics as absurd yet fascinating as sperm health and the fact about the globally best-selling chocolate bar.
Jump right into funny flight adventures and become part of an engaging conversation about the battle against wriggling maggots onboard a flight from Detroit. Hear us dissect an Italian study linking pasta consumption to happiness and how an influencer took his frugality to a whole new level. The episode ends on a light note as we revel in our host's journey to the sunny state of Florida for a possible SpaceX launch. Tune in for a fun-filled ride of surprising trivia, funny incidents, and unpredictable discussions all baked in one hilarious episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
Music.
You're doomed. stop the sound effects let me finish my damn article,
(00:32):
from the intro memorial spare bedroom
studio located somewhere others never want to be it's season four of the josh
and ac podcast gotta suck on them before you chew on them Follow the Dead End
with Josh and AC on our socials at Josh and AC on Facebook,
(00:55):
Josh and AC podcast on Instagram and YouTube, or email us joshandacpodcast at gmail.com.
Tastes like weed. I'm done. I quit. You can be a total badass.
Dog food tastes that good. I don't want to be right. He took all six inches of that at once.
(01:15):
Music.
And I love bananas,
now if you dare here are your hosts AC everything was nice up until now and
(01:42):
I have to record with you you son of a bitch and Josh lift your shirt up baby.
Music.
(02:17):
Coming in another Thursday. One week ago we were with you, that's right, here at the Dead End.
Coming in with Season 4, Episode 37. I am Josh, AC's across the room.
I did that without a cue this time. You see, we're like professionals.
Yeah, it was pretty good. I wasn't paying attention.
You're too busy sitting over there chuggling on your filly's water or whatever
you're drinking. That's iced tea.
(02:39):
All right, well, welcome in, everybody. Josh just stopped talking.
Welcome in, everybody. Season 4, Episode 37 of the Dead End with Josh,
AC. I have like a stroke in my mind. I don't know what was going on. Josh and AC.
Poppy.com. You know how to find us when we go over to the show.
Did you say Josh and Racine?
No, Josh and AC. I thought you said Josh and Racine. I'm like,
what are we in? League of their own? Welcome, everybody. Season four, episode 37.
We are still on this marathon of getting shit done because Josh doesn't want
(03:07):
to drive through a blizzard.
It's already 11.22 at night. For one and all, to play ball.
Music.
You look like Rosie O'Donnell, kind of, when she was fat. Thanks,
Josh. I appreciate that.
All right. Well, yeah. 22. Number 22. We love you, 22.
(03:32):
She was ugly. All right. Well, Josh, breaking news. If you haven't heard,
breaking news, Bill Post, the co-inventor of what has died at age 96?
Bill Post? A tasty breakfast treat.
Oatmeal. No, that's not a tasty breakfast treat. I love oatmeal.
Bill Post. Oh, Post cereal. He helped create the on-the-go breakfast as the inventor of Pop-Tarts.
(04:01):
So he's to blame. Yeah, so on February 10th, he died at the age of 96.
What are you saying, breaking news? That was a week ago. Well,
it's more for these people. Yeah, but breaking news for us, right?
I wanted to do it on the last show, but we had too much shit to talk about.
We're recording this on the 16th. Right, well, yeah.
Breaking news. It's going to air on Leap Day.
(04:24):
Yeah. Hey, this is the first time in our podcast history that we've recorded a show on Leap Day.
Music.
Ladies and gentlemen, Abraham Lincoln has been assassinated. Stop. Abraham.
(04:47):
Stop. This was at Ford's Theater.
He was watching a play with his wife, Mary, when an unknown assailant,
we're being told is John Wilkes Booth, a Confederate soldier.
Everybody, this is why I don't let Josh do things, because he just takes things to the next level.
Well, you said breaking news. Well, but it is breaking news.
(05:07):
No, it is. It happened a fucking week ago.
Well, they don't need to know that. They might not even know what had happened.
Well, they do. You said, this happened on February 10th. Well,
on February 10th, the co-founder... Listen, I'm just going to do this. No more breaking news.
On February 10th, the co-founder of Pop-Tart died. There you go.
Fuck it. All right, done.
Because Josh has to be an asshole. All right, well, on to you.
Apparently, it's your show. No, it's not. Don't you have anything?
(05:28):
Of course I have stuff, but it's apparently your show tonight.
Let me see something.
Hang on a second.
Oh, Josh is well prepared for the show. Okay, well, I just was getting my dates correct.
(05:51):
Lincoln was shot April 14th. Are you done?
1865 around 10 p.m. Are you done? It looks like he passed away 722 tomorrow.
Are you done making fun of me?
All right. Because you know I'm already irritated that it's 11 o'clock at night.
We're still recording an episode.
Boy, I can't wait to find out if the Beatles get killed Can you move on?
(06:15):
Remember when we talked about this letting things go and moving on, Josh?
Right, but usually you're like, so I see baseball What do you have to say about baseball?
Usually you prompt me and then I go on.
Herpes? What do you have to say about that, Josh? Okay. Are you done yet?
Whenever you're ready, buddy, I'll move on. Well, no, I thought that's your
(06:37):
show, so go ahead. What do you mean it's my show? Well, most of this is you. I got nothing, so...
So then you say, okay, so... No, the only thing is, I think you'll actually
get a kick out of this. So Tuesday... Is it Tuesday?
Thursday. Thursday. We almost forgot to do our taste test. Oh,
yeah. Well, that'll be this show.
Well, no shit. We can't go back. Yeah, let's go back to the last episode.
Breaking news on last week's episode we didn't do a
(07:00):
taste so on thursday uh i get
up at the crack ass of dawn to go to the dentist okay oh my
god i saw this i was dying so i didn't realize his
name was gerald also we're both we have the same we both
have the same name so so i get there my dad's there
and i'm there and i'm like fuck i know exactly what happened
so did they call you so what happens i got all the messages
(07:20):
because they scheduled my dad's appointment under my
name instead of his name she said
he's an imposter so i got there and
i said my dad's like oh well we both have an appointment i said no dad i
said you're you they probably put where did where did you
go in hamburg for this no so it's uh central berks dental in leesport oh okay
across the Subaru dealer that's still a fucking hall i know my dad actually
(07:44):
was going to be nice and give me the appointment but i said no dad you're getting
your cavity filled so they rescheduled me but i was supposed to be rescheduled
and i thought this was just the rescheduled appointment they just never called
me to tell me they were going to reschedule it to that date.
So, but I said to the lady, I said, like, here's the thing.
My dad talked to the doctor, like to our dentist, and he said,
you should have just told him I would. He's like, I can clean his teeth in 10
(08:05):
minutes, you know, and I know Dr. Jordan can do that.
So he should have. He should have. So that's what Michael Jordan's doing in
retirement. Yeah, Dr. Jordan. No, but so he.
The whole thing is, there used to be an office lady there. She was there my
entire life, I feel like.
She would have went back to Dr. Jordan and said, hey, this happened.
We screwed up. Can we just take care of it?
(08:27):
But this other lady doesn't know how to do that. She just rescheduled me.
And they said that I was like, I think my dad acknowledged that they said I
was extremely patient in the way I handled it.
I wasn't going to argue. It was too early. I didn't feel like them scraping up my teeth.
They got me in two weeks later. So it's not that big of a deal.
But I said to my dad, my dad thought that we both had the same appointment.
I said, no, dad. Yeah, they probably scheduled me into your appointment.
(08:48):
You should have sat on your dad's lap, and they could have cleaned your teeth at the same time. Yeah.
So my dad was, like, really upset because I drove all the way up there,
and he was going to give me his appointment. I was like, no. I was like, it's fine.
I said, but it makes sense because I would have never scheduled a 7 o'clock
appointment with a hygienist. That's ridiculous. I do that.
So get this shit. I don't have dental insurance anymore because they switched
to some lame-ass company who doesn't cut.
(09:09):
Like, it's all Indian doctors, and I'm not switching again. Yeah.
And, like, I was supposed to have an appointment maybe, like,
a month ago, and they canceled it on me.
They're like, oh, your hygienist left. I'm like, well, I'm not hygienist loyal.
I just want somebody. They're all going to scrape and hurt me.
Well, I'm particular to make sure that the hygienists are, they can't use the
(09:34):
electronic equipment on my teeth.
What do you mean electronic? So there's something called a Gravitron.
Yeah, that's right at the fair. Well, no, that's Gravitron. They have something
called a Gravitron, I believe it's called, in dental work.
And that's when they touch your nuts, right? No. Oh. No, that's Grabathon.
No, they literally, it's like a high-pressure wash on your teeth.
(09:57):
It's really for the hygienist to
be lazy instead of actually scraping your teeth. It's like a water pick.
No, but it hurts your teeth, Josh. My mouth was in pain after this lady was done and my teeth hurt.
Well, I like when they take the fishing hook thing and get it stuck between
your teeth and then they yank on it. Well, if you'd clean your teeth more often.
Does he brush his teeth, Amber?
(10:17):
I do. You just put a lot of shit in your mouth. I use a wire brush. Okay.
Do you use a water pick? No, fuck that. I have one of those.
It's weird. It works, but it's weird.
I flush the toilet a couple times and stick my mouth in it.
It gives you the same effect without the pain from getting into your gum line.
(10:38):
But, yeah, I don't know. So, we have something to try here. Something that I
can't see how this is going to be good at all.
But since we're talking about cavities I had to write down what you just said
What about sticking my head in the toilet You said I flush the toilet And then
I stick my head in it And then I stick my mouth in it Anyway, Dr.
(10:59):
Pepper Peeps I can imagine, I know what flat Dr. Pepper tastes like So I can
imagine these are going to taste like flat Dr.
Pepper They stink Like they smell Dr. Peppery,
It doesn't taste, well it actually tastes like Dr. Pepper Does it?
Alright, I'll try one Here Here. Sorry, PBs.
Actually, it does taste like Dr. Pepper a little bit.
(11:22):
It's really not that bad. Do you want to try one?
I gave it to the dog. That's how much I'm interested in it. He's going to die.
You can't give him that. Why? It's marshmallow.
And soda. It's not soda. It's flavor. He has to walk around with a fucking pump on him because... Huh?
(11:44):
Walmart.
They're not half bad. They're all right. I mean, I would prefer the yellow Peeps.
I'm just not a Peeps person, so. I like the ones that actually are like baby
chickens, and you get the meat.
That's true. By the way, I did, the last time we did the podcast.
(12:05):
No, no, I went to the mushroom farm that night. Did I go? Yeah,
you were telling us. Okay, so we did talk about it. Okay, I just want to make
sure I talk about that. That was actually pretty cool.
Oh yeah, because we had the podcast the night after The day that I came home
from that Josh is Play Fluffy Bunny, Josh.
Say it Fluffy Bunny Yeah, there you go,
(12:28):
While Josh is stuffing his face So anyway, the dentist appointment I got rescheduled
for March 2nd So I will be going Monday morning Which is my actual appointment
My dad also wanted to make sure that they,
Didn't schedule me into his August Cleaning appointment
appointment so they did they had the right they so she
just goofed on the one um he had my dad said
(12:48):
he when he did his cleaning the last time he had a substitute uh hygienist
so she goofed it up what the fuck is it with you but so my dad was scheduled
for the august one so i have i have a cleaning scheduled now march
3rd so i think i'm gonna have a stroke from eating all them
which is real weird too that i got in and then she says to
me do you want do you want me to tell them like it's as soon as
possible so they put you on the cancellation list and i was like no
(13:08):
i said it's two weeks from now i said that's fine i was like i just
need to get the cleaning done in the first quarter of the year so i
was like whatever so anyway all right so roadway road rage
incident shocker josh has road rage no so i
hate when people get behind me and ride my
ass especially when i'm in my car because it's low to the ground and the headlights
(13:29):
just shine in my face and all that bullshit bless you for sneezing so anyhow
this motherfucker in a volvo was riding my ass down 61 the other night.
And I wouldn't have cared if I wouldn't have had kids with me. And...
(13:52):
He was like on my ass, off my ass, on my ass, off my ass. Then he flew by me,
got in front of me, so I high beamed him.
And I turned him off. And it was coming down 61 where you get to the light at Wawa.
And wouldn't you know it, I got right behind the guy. Are you okay over there?
(14:20):
Apparently this is what weed does to her.
Show she's hot oh good for you tonight shelds bought you by rso,
jesus what are you doing oh here you can use my bathroom there's probably tissues
or toilet paper in there so anyway so i got behind him and i just started laying
(14:44):
on the horn just to be a dickhead,
You never so then,
The light changes he goes and then he's like break-checking me a little bit,
I'm sure you handled this well.
I did so then then I start you know doing my my talk And I'm mouthing off to this motherfucker. I,
(15:05):
And when, you know, we got the next red light together, I start honking the
horn again and I'm flashing my lights at him.
And then we go and he's going to turn into Hamburg at Redner's there at the Redner's light.
So I follow him and he quick shoots back over.
(15:26):
So I shot back over behind him and then he's driving. Why can't you just leave people alone?
And he's making like lane changes without signals. So I kept doing the same
thing and getting, I got, I was right on him the whole time.
And then he was like, he'd signal, he'd come halfway over and stay back in the lane.
(15:46):
Then I followed this guy all the way down to Shoei and then he pulled a U-turn at the stoplight.
Why do you think this is funny? This guy could have shot you,
dude. I don't care. Don't act like a fucking asshole.
Listen, you just, you let people do their shit and then move on.
He was clearly more scared. Oh, I let him move on.
He did the U-turn. After you followed him for how long? Well,
(16:08):
I was going that way. It's not like I wasn't, you know, like I went out of my way.
Yeah. I don't know what mic this is, but come over and use mine.
You tell her that all the time. Yeah. Just use it, bitch. Talking to my big fluffy purse.
(16:29):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, Amber's in the studio this evening.
And, well, she's got a story about a doctor friend of hers.
You have to move towards it.
Is this okay? Sure. So speaking of road rage, I'm at work the other day and
(16:52):
one of our nocturnist doctors was telling us about a road rage incident he had.
Take off your clothes. Long story short, he said, What did you play?
Fuck off.
So, during that... Now she knows how I feel. During that snowstorm we had,
(17:12):
he was saying he was going home.
He had a two-wheel drive vehicle. For a doctor, you'd think he had something nicer.
But, um, he gets... Why didn't you tell him what kind of car it was?
I think it was a Honda something. Yeah, you said a two-wheel drive vehicle. Shut up!
I'll kill you. She's high, Josh. Leave her alone. I am.
(17:34):
I think he said it was a Honda Accord he was telling them today.
But anyhow, he said that he's afraid of getting submerged in a pond so he carries a crowbar with him.
Anyway, he has his Jeep fall on him right up his ass.
It's all snowy out and they get to a red light together.
This guy gets out of the car so the doctor grabs the crowbar.
(17:55):
He thinks he's either gonna murder this guy or the guy's gonna murder him.
So there's a road rage thing for ya.
Josh is getting tired now, everybody, so he's going to start being a douche
with all the sound effects.
No, I'm not. I just thought it was so great. Amber's highs and kites.
I play the Reading Rainbow theme. He's just going to keep going on and on tonight.
(18:21):
I'm stopping at an hour because I'm tired. What are we at?
We still got 40 minutes. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Plenty of time. Yeah.
Well, not if you keep going the way that you're going. Anyway,
finish your damn road rage story.
That was it. I followed the guy down and that was it. All right.
Not yet. It's not snowing good. Anyway, I have looked out the window recently. It's not snowing yet.
(18:45):
Like within the last five minutes, Amber. She's so worried about the snow.
Why don't you go out and play?
No. I can tell you now she can get hit by a car. Yeah, right in the street, you know? All right.
We scooping her up off the street. Play puzzle with the body. Great. All right.
Shooting somewhere, Josh. Yeah, so, you know, Joel Osteen, the pastor.
(19:08):
Yeah. Of that gigantic mega church. Yeah.
In Texas, right? Yeah. So, in Houston, Texas, this was like a week ago.
One of his one of the people that was a parishioner in his church went in with
an AR-15 and was going to shoot the place up,
(19:33):
Janice Yvonne Moreno opened fire with an AR-15 but was killed in a gunfight
with two security guards,
it's pretty bad that he has to have security at his church I don't know A lot
of big churches like that do that now, though. But anyway.
(19:53):
Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Now she's making fun of my work. She's high as a kite.
So, listen, Amber.
Don't make me start. No, they don't come down this road.
It is still unknown who fired the shots that struck her kid, though.
(20:19):
She had a 7-year-old kid who was injured.
And then there was also a 57-year-old man who was shot in the leg,
but he was released from the hospital.
They're not sure what exactly happened, but they did say that people who know the family,
said that there was a divorce and a custody battle and the parents were fighting over the kid.
(20:43):
The kid was born prematurely in 2016 when his mom was just...
Why is this all relevant?
This is what it says. The mom was six months pregnant when the kid was born.
His father, Enrique Carazon III, The third described the divorce,
(21:03):
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, they shot the church up to kill the bitch.
I don't understand, like, why. But now I'm sure he'll be asking for more money to, like, oh, please.
Well, now he'll tell the government they need to step in and help him. I need money.
Jesus wants money for his church to be safe. So why don't you send us some money?
(21:25):
Yeah. So, but they said the kid got shot and now he's in critical condition.
So, mom's dead, kid's in critical condition.
What a fuck. I don't know, man. Why would you go shoot up a church?
Well, there's lots of crazy people. Listen, that's not the first time a church
has been. Is he really in a church?
(21:47):
He's in a fucking arena. It's an old arena. It was like the old Civic Center or some shit.
He's really, I don't know, And he's probably worth billions of dollars. Not billions.
I used to listen to his... Because he has a channel on Sirius. Of course he does.
Joel Osteen Network.
(22:11):
Oh, it's not even close, dude.
50 mil. He's not even that rich. Looks like God's only worth $50 million.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Never mind. Never mind. Over 50 mil.
And then you go scroll down to and it says his official net worth for 2024 is 180 million.
Yep. All because dumb people keep giving him money.
(22:34):
Good God. He probably has a private jet, five houses. He probably has.
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure he's on What's-His-Face Island list.
You and Epstein, man. That's like the second reference to that in like three weeks. All right.
All right. So do we want to do the conspiracy theories or the semen facts first?
Do the conspiracy theory. What?
(22:56):
Are you all right over there? I think I might be having a stroke again. Jesus. All right.
Well, Joshua's told his conspiracy theories he had to narrow them down because
we do not have four hours to go over, and Joshua liked to. Out of 30, I picked four.
And we don't have to... That's it, four of them, wow. We don't have to go into,
you know, like, detail, detail with them.
So the first one on my list, the number one thing, and I want your feedback on these.
(23:20):
I'm just going to sit here. This is an article from Esquire.
So the first conspiracy theory they have is the moon landing was fake. Do you think it was fake?
So people say that because the flag wasn't flying or something like that,
right? It says the flag moving in the wind.
But is there wind in space?
(23:40):
But see, wouldn't the flag float, right? Because of zero gravity.
Yeah. So the flag would float.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't see how...
They say it was filmed on a sound stage and has been kept secret by the CIA.
So the people going to space. Well, so listen, they obviously sent people to
(24:02):
space. They have video of them being in space.
So maybe they never landed on the moon. But I don't. Here's the whole thing.
I don't believe that we would have done this this whole time and never landed,
actually landed on the moon. Although it's weird we've never been back.
That's what I don't understand.
Since we landed that first time? Yeah. I thought we've been back once.
I don't think they've had people on the moon since.
Okay. Okay, so maybe it is a conspiracy theory. Maybe that's where this comes
(24:22):
from. But then, like, they...
I mean, I don't know. I'm fascinated by the pictures they send back from Mars
with, like, the little robots.
That shit amazes me, because do you believe in aliens?
I swear, there's got to be... No, I don't necessarily want to say that I believe
in aliens, but I believe that there is other life forms besides the Earth.
Why are we the only planet that has living things on it?
(24:44):
Yeah, I mean, look at... What are the resources here that are different than
other... See, I'm not a science guy, So I don't know what resources are available. But Bill Nye is.
But I don't know enough about other planets to know. But Mars is like hot and cold, right?
Yeah. They think Mars actually had life at one point. Well, I thought they were
saying that it does have life on it. Well, it still does.
(25:05):
But if it has life on it, they haven't found the fucking rovers that we've been
floating around for a long time. There's probably like a whole like,
it's like Center City, Chicago or some shit out there. Oh, you dumb motherfuckers.
Do you think aliens do drive-bys? Like I said, I don't believe in aliens.
I believe there are life forms on other planets. Like I said,
(25:27):
I can't imagine that there would not be another planet that couldn't sustain life.
All right. Well, moving to the next one. COVID-19 was engineered by the media.
I don't know that it was engineered by the media, but I definitely think the
media played a big role in COVID-19.
(25:49):
I agree i don't my uncle was like oh it's genocide i don't think so but genocide,
like trying to kill off the human population listen let's not talk about your
uncle i'm assuming you're talking about what's his face well yeah because it'd
be kind of hard for my other uncle because he's six feet under so yeah well
no but he wouldn't really be talking well butch because we've talked about butch
(26:13):
having all kinds of weird theories okay uh next one Bigfoot is real.
I think absolutely Bigfoot's real. Sure.
Where is it, though? Where is Bigfoot? Well, he's hiding.
Listen, they say Area 51 is just a military base.
No, it isn't. Well, that's the whole thing. Like, obviously,
(26:34):
the government hides things everywhere.
I think, you know, it's just like, is there a cure for cancer?
No, there never will be a cure for cancer. You know why?
Because they make too much money on treatment. Because the treatment is too
much. Diabetes. There's never going to be a cure. Diabetes.
There's never going to be a cure for diabetes because companies make too much money off of it.
See, I... Never going to be a cure for AIDS. You know why? Because all the medications,
(26:55):
the prophylactic medications... Because how else do you kill gay people? Well, no. No, prep.
Prep is a big money maker, so prep is the stuff that you take to prevent it,
prevent you from getting it, but then the post... Did you get aroused at all
when I was kissing you in the bed?
The actual medication is... So there's not going to be a cure for these things.
Because it doesn't make too much money off of it. I think Bigfoot's...
(27:18):
Although, it's weird, though, because how can we have all these high-tech cameras,
and you can show me video of two
moose fucking but you can't get bigfoot just
walking through the valley right so like
i would say it would be more what does anybody have
to gain if we don't ever find bigfoot what what do
(27:38):
we have to gain from this i don't know but i now maybe he's not real because
if he's bigfoot he'd be gigantic okay like it's not like it's a little foot
little foot i'd be like yeah you know he he exists you just can't see him he's
four inches tall that's a little foot listen that's a conspiracy theory i I
could give two shits about.
Really? To be honest with you. What about Harry and the Hendersons?
(28:01):
I could care less about Bigfoot.
You've seen Harry and the Hendersons, right? Yeah, but I could,
again, could care less about Bigfoot. I don't know.
All right. Now, when I'm at camp next weekend in the woods, I might care.
And when you rip your tent open.
I should... You'd fucking kill me. I ain't telling you where I'm at.
Get him a gun, though. I just want... I'm looking for a tree.
(28:24):
Don't even try it. I'm locking the gate so you can't come in well
on bigfoot i can climb over the gate anyway and
the last one i wanted to talk about was the covid19
vaccine has a 5g chip inside of it to track you yep because i felt that get
shot right into my arm every time i got one of those shots oh my god people
(28:45):
are fucking stupid my uncle and my grandmother believed and they also believed
that the military was going to come to your front door and yank you out of your
house and give you the shot.
Really? Sounds exciting. But now we'll delve more into these because I still
(29:05):
have, you know, 26 other theories we can talk about.
You know, every couple of shows. Spread it out a little bit.
Yeah, well, Josh likes it when it's spread. We'll do it as breaking news. Yeah.
All right. All right, well, now we're going to go back on something that we
talked about a couple shows ago.
And this was the semen facts. We never got back to the semen facts.
So we're going to go back in history.
(29:27):
So here we go great i got hiccups now now this is 12 fascinating facts i'm getting
tired so please don't drag these
out josh uh please make sure so sperm and semen are they the same thing,
(29:48):
yes no they're not people often use these terms interchangeably but they're
not the same semen Semen is what's produced by a penis during ejaculation.
Sperm, which is in semen, are the microscopic tadpole-esque germ cells on a
(30:08):
mission to fertilize the egg.
They carry half the number of the regular human chromosomes,
while the eggs carry the other half.
So if a sperm is an X, it fertilizes with a Y, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. So sperm are in your cum.
Okay good to know i think next week on the show we're gonna come on a slide,
(30:31):
and no we're not why no i would love to you could do it at home we'll get a
little bit in a in a cup okay and you can do it that way a little bit like i
don't need that much i need just enough to smear on a i could probably get pre-cum
and smeared on the end of the thing right all right that's It's disgusting.
Anyway, here we go. For all you people who eat this stuff, the semen contains
(30:54):
only 5 to 10 calories per ejaculation. See, it's healthy.
Should I see what it says on Weight Watchers for this?
Are you kidding me? I'm going to do this.
Let's see what it says.
It's a high-fiber diet or high-protein diet. it i think your fate my favorite
(31:15):
quote from when we talked about this before was well think about it you're eating
little babies up a semolina roll uh semolina loaf no no that's something else,
semen does not come up on weight watchers fuck those bastards i was curious
to see how many points i get for that.
There is lots of sperm in each ejaculation. The average ejaculation clocks in
(31:42):
around 1.5 to 5 milliliters of semen containing 15 million sperm.
Could you imagine a poor guy that had to sit there and count all them? 15 million sperm.
And they're swimming around, so you can't, like... Yeah, I think they would
guesstimate that, right?
I don't think you would, like, stand there and count them. Some dude sat there
for three days and counted them.
(32:03):
Yeah, while they're all swimming. We had to eat them all. One. God, stop.
There isn't usually... Oh, fuck. There goes my idea.
There isn't any sperm in pre-cum, so much for wiping my wiener on a microscope slide.
Sperm can survive for quite some time inside the female body.
(32:25):
That's why everybody on forensic files gets caught. They blow their load and
then they throw them under a... Well, it says in the body.
Well, yeah, but they blow their load. In a female body. Yeah.
Well, usually they don't fuck dead men. Oh, Jesus.
Josh is on a roll here. Holy crap. They can hang around for five days.
(32:47):
Sperm love to be in warm and wet environments. Huh.
That's why I come in my fish tank.
There's a heater in there. Certain everyday things can damage men's sperm.
Some of the top culprits, regular smoking, excessive heat, like working in front
of a 400-degree oven all day, or using hot tubs a few times a week.
(33:12):
Being overweight, oh, there we go, all my sperm are dead. I shoot out a bunch of dead sperm.
Also, even though it's not scientifically proven, it might be smart for guys
to keep laptops away from their genitals.
Interesting. You know, I'll remember that next time. Yeah, don't put your laptop
on your lap. Next time I'm fucking my computer. It's only called a laptop.
(33:33):
Next time I'm fucking my computer, I'll make... Jesus Christ. All right.
Sperm go from creation to ejaculation in about three months.
Also, it's like... It takes three months to make a sperm? It's the semen version of how you...
First, it takes 64 days for the male body to produce sperm.
Then 24 to 28 more
(33:55):
days for it to be transported and finally finally ejaculated i
can ejaculate every day i think taking me 64 days in between beating off yeah
there's there's no scientifically sound way for men to this one's the worst
there's no scientifically sound way for men to change the the taste or smell of their semen.
(34:20):
Oh, really? So it just happens? But if he's healthy, it shouldn't taste positively foul either.
Maybe not like donuts, but definitely not awful.
One consistent thing is to understand that it will be distasteful if you smoke.
(34:40):
Probably in large part to the different toxins in there.
But there's no proof that if you eat kiwi, your semen tastes and smells lovely.
So really, it's all anecdotal. Oh my god.
So if you eat grass, it doesn't taste like grass. Yeah, no, so you could go
blow a cow and it wouldn't taste like you're eating a pasture.
(35:02):
The consistency can change... Oh god. Consistency can change from day to day.
Hydration is a major factor in guys' emissions, which can be either very slippery
one day and thick and goopy.
I know this one time I came and I thought I don't want to know about this.
(35:23):
I thought it was Elmer's glue.
Josh, I don't want to know about it. I made a popsicle coaster.
I don't want to hear this. You really think I made a popsicle coaster with my
own semen? I don't know, but I don't want to hear what your semen looks like,
dude. Some semen. It's gross.
You're the one guy that I could care less what your semen looks like.
Well, there's multiple guys that I could care less for, but Jesus Christ,
(35:45):
Josh. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Some semen is gelatinous?
So some can be gelatinous, some can be liquefied in smoothing consistency,
or some will notice tapioca-like pearls. That's disgusting.
You have a problem. If that semen were to hang out in the vagina,
(36:07):
it would just eventually liquefy and become more mobile.
So there you go. See, mine's like the consistency of cinnamon raisin rice pudding.
How many more of these things you got? This is getting gross. Three more. Okay.
This is getting gross. I'm going to puke. You can't freeze semen the way they do on movies and TV.
(36:31):
To be able to actually freeze semen... Wait a minute.
So it says it's a plot point of a single woman freezing someone's semen in a
thermos, then thawing it and whipping out a turkey baster to take care of...
So that actually doesn't work. No.
So for all you people turkey basting semen into your body, Frank, it's not going to work.
(36:58):
It's extremely unlikely to be allergic to semen, but it is possible. We did talk about that.
So if you experience itching, swelling, or redness of the area,
you're probably allergic to it.
My lips swelled up. It looked like I had Chanel No. 6 on.
And last, but not least for this list, men produce a crazy amount of sperm in a lifetime.
(37:22):
The 95% of men who produce normal levels of sperm create 2 trillion swimmers in their lifetime.
Yes, that's trillion with a T.
Out of those 2 trillion, they ejaculate something like 700 billion sperm.
So I'm rich. I just am rich in the wrong... Yeah.
(37:44):
Jesus. how many sperm do i have nine billion 240 million sperm yeah all right well everybody,
from sperm to leap year so everybody
it is february 29th 2024 whole
extra day of coming i know there you go um so
(38:06):
here's the deal i got nothing for you on the days because
they got nothing because it's leap and so this only happens
obviously once every four years this is a serious question how
do you celebrate your birthday if you're a leap year
kid do you only celebrate it i think you celebrate on another
day i we have one employee at work that's a leap year baby
so but yeah i got nothing no birthdays nothing like
(38:26):
that listed because uh it's a leap day so all
right so josh my trivia question for this week this is the global best-selling
chocolate bar global best-selling chocolate bar mmm but come tastic no okay,
(38:48):
what is Rihanna's real name hmm I knew this at one point but I would have to
I'd have to look it up I know her number one song when her and Chris Brown were
together was beat me with an umbrella Ella Ella that's terrible all right all
All right, moving on, let's go to my into clip.
Very funny movie, but this is kind of a very sentimental part of the movie. Let's go to Home Alone 2.
(39:13):
Music.
(39:35):
It's a turtle dove. I have one, you have one. As long as we each have a turtle
dove, we'll be friends forever.
Music.
Thank you. I won't forget you. Trust me.
(40:09):
All right. Is there any better Christmas movie than Home Alone?
I love Home Alone. He'll tell you the same. Home Alone's a good movie,
too. We watched a lot during Christmas.
All right. So why would I pick that scene? Because a pigeon has been suspected of being a Chinese spy.
But he was finally cleared by Indian police. That's right.
(40:32):
The suspected Chinese spy pigeon was detained for eight months before being
released into the wild on Tuesday.
This occurred in India, where Indian police cleared a suspected Chinese spy
pigeon after eight months detention,
(40:53):
where he was released into the wild on Tuesday, probably at an Indian trap shoot.
The pigeons ordeal began in may when
it was captured near the port in mumbai with
two rings tied around its legs carrying words
that looked like chinese police suspected it
(41:13):
to be involved in espionage and took it in later sending
it to mumbai's by sakar by
didn't schwab petted hospital for
animals eventually it turned out that
the pigeon was open water racing bird we used
to race pigeons when i was a kid my dad had them talk about
(41:33):
interesting times there yeah uh with police permission the bird was transferred
to bombay society for the prevention of cruelty to animals whose doctors set
it free mumbai police could not be reached for comment it's not the First time
a bird has come under suspicion in 2020,
police in India-controlled Kashmir released a pigeon,
(41:56):
belonging to a Pakistani fisherman after a probe found that the bird,
which had flown across the heavily
militarized border between the nuclear-armed nations, was not a spy.
In 2016, another pigeon was taken in to cut...
How could you have a spy pigeon? You put them in a cage. Well,
(42:19):
I'm sure you can have spy pigeons. Well, what are they going to do?
No, they can put a fucking... Oh, like a camera on them and shit. Yeah, like a drone.
Oh, yeah. I would just rather fly a drone. Well, no, but a drone is suspicious. A pigeon's not.
Pigeons are just flying around. Well, I put a little mustache on my drone, though. Oh, my God.
I'm going to miss Ragoo. While it buzzes around. And from pigeons to maggots.
(42:46):
That's right. Wiggly maggots fell on a Delta passenger from the overhead bin.
Flight attendants discovered the creatures in a suitcase that also contained
a rotting fish wrapped in newspaper.
How did the fish get on the plane? I don't know. A passenger on a Delta Airlines
flight from Amsterdam to Detroit is probably very bugged. They were probably high.
(43:10):
Coming from Amsterdam, by her experience. That's because at least a dozen maggots
fell from the overhead bin onto
the woman's lap, which led to the flight returning to the Netherlands.
The woman's seat and mate, Phillip Schott, told a Fox affiliate,
WJBK-TV in Detroit, how the woman reacted to having the creepy larva descend upon her.
(43:35):
She was freaking out. She was just trying to get off.
Wait, she was just trying to kind of fight these maggots off.
They're maggots to the size of a fucking, what, two, three centimeters?
Yeah, but Josh, they're gross. You've seen maggots, right? Okay,
yeah, but to fight them off? It's not fucking Mike Tyson crawling on your lap.
(43:57):
I'd be puking if they were on top of me. That's gross.
So he said at first he thought the falling maggots were some kind of prank,
but he had no clue what was really happening.
I don't really know what was going through my mind. I was kind of trying to
process it. Disgust was one of the first things, of course.
We had to wait there for help to actually come.
(44:18):
The man was eventually moved to another seat while a flight attendant searched
the overhead bins for the source of them, maggots.
They found out that there was a rotten fish in there.
I did see everyone's reaction to the bag being opened, which was immediately nose-pinching.
A man then claimed to be the owner of the rotting fish, which was wrapped in newspapers.
(44:41):
Flight attendants grabbed the maggot-infested fish and took it to the back of
the plane, where they cut it up and served it as the in-flight meal.
No. Jesus Christ, you had my attention there. The plane was flying over England
when the pilot... Listen, if you cooked it, it would have been fine.
Yeah, the maggots are just extra flavor. Yeah. When the plane landed,
passengers exited and were scheduled onto other flights, hopefully less smelly.
(45:06):
In addition, the suitcase that held the decomposing fish was put into a bag to be burned.
Schott told WJBK, he does not know if the man who bought the fish and the maggots
on the plane was detained or fined.
He was just happy to get another flight. Still, he had questions.
(45:27):
I'm surprised that they had a rotten fish and live maggots and it was not picked up by security.
Obviously, in Amsterdam, you can take whatever the fuck you want on a plane
because they ain't looking that that is true i mean what the fuck currently stowing at pottsville,
pretty heavily too anyway over to you all right so uh what's the weirdest thing
(45:49):
you ever dealt with on a plane weirdest thing on a plane yeah like you know
like a weird smelly person or.
I had a drunk person sitting next to me one time and they kept
serving her that was the weirdest thing really oh yeah huh they
kept serving her it's like you you could clearly see she was intoxicated she
had like three bottles of liquor in front of her there was an indian guy
who took his turban off he shit wiped his ass
(46:10):
with the turban put it back on his head and then he built a shoe bomb
in his slipper it didn't happen all right so
a study was done in milan italy and for
this study they took 40 participants between the ages of 25
and 55 and measured their physical and neurological changes as they ate pasta
and they compared those responses to their reactions while listening to their
(46:32):
favorite songs or watching a sporting event and according to the researchers
eating pasta was more effective than even sports or music at activating cognitive memory processes,
which is a fancy way of saying that it helped the participants remember or recall specific things.
Eating pasta also bested both music and sporting events when it comes to generating
(46:55):
positive emotions, which makes us wonder how you say Buffalo Bills fan in Italian.
So finally, the researchers watched and qualified the participants'
facial expressions and determined that a bowl of pasta was equally
likely to be an indicator of happiness as
the person's favorite song and it
(47:17):
was significantly more likely to generate positive facial expressions
than watching sport through the study science has put itself at the service
of emotions to certify that pasta and happiness are one says a professor at
the place that did this study the result The result tells us that it is precisely
when we eat pasta that we are emotionally active.
(47:38):
It is, therefore, the real act of tasting and savoring the dish in its full
flavor to stimulate our brain.
The participants were also asked to answer the question, when do you eat pasta?
The most common responses were related to having meals with one's family,
friendship, or just when I feel happy.
In addition, when asked how happy eating pasta made them feel,
(47:59):
76% of the study participants responded, a lot.
Are you a homosexual responded that they are
considered listen gays aren't just pasta eaters okay but perhaps
that's due to italy's high per capita pasta
consumption the researchers added sex before the almost that
almost all italians a whopping 99 eat pasta on an average of five times every
(48:20):
week you gotta suck on them before you chew so um yeah with this story um i'll
tell tell you pasta if I'm getting that for dinner and it's like good pasta
it makes me pretty damn happy it makes me sleepy too.
What's your favorite kind of pasta? Favorite kind of pasta? Bolognese.
Or penne alfredo. I don't think I ever had that. Bolognese? It's like a really
(48:41):
nice meat sauce. It's like carrots and shit. A red meat sauce?
Yeah, it's a red meat sauce. It's stewed. Like, it's a stewed meat sauce.
I'll have to make it for you sometime. You get me a good, like...
I also like really good spaghetti and meatballs, too. Chicken fettuccine alfredo? Yeah.
That's so Americanized. But that sauce, though. But I will tell you,
I think my best pasta dish, My most authentic favorite dish is called cacio de pepe.
(49:06):
Ooh, cacio de pepe. Cacio de pepe.
That was in Pinocchio. So it's pasta and cheese, really. They literally use
the pasta water and put cheese in it. It's really good. Cacio de pepe.
All right. Did you ever stick a pasta noodle in your pee hole?
No. I did. I'm sure you did. All right. It's like catheterizing.
All right. So, Josh, the idea of snacking your way through a warehouse store
(49:27):
is apparently a universal thing, and an influencer in China...
Uh he decided to take the concept to a next
level by taking his own box of cooked
rice to sam's club so he can make a serious meal
out of whatever samples they were offered according to the south china what
the fuck is a box of cooked rice you just took a box of well in china they probably
(49:48):
boxes of rice what do you mean like fast like like like chinese chinese yeah
so according to the south china marketing post the influencer whose name has
not been shared was able to put Put together a full flight of samples,
including pieces of chocolate, pistachio nuts, egg puffs, lamb rolls,
and pork ribs. That sounds great.
Do you eat sushi? No. You don't? Not a lot of it. I'm not a big fan of seaweed.
(50:12):
Well, no, no, no. So, like, I tried some for the first time the other week,
and it was, like, rice, and then it was, like, crab meat and,
like, cucumber. I ate that one.
That's a California roll. There was one that was, like, rice and cooked tilapia.
That was pretty good. Ugh.
But it had seaweed in it. No, there was no seaweed in it. The seaweed is the wrapper, Josh.
(50:33):
No, there was no wrapper. It was like the rice was the outside of it. Okay.
All right. So this instant legend asked some of the sample servers to put their
complimentary portions in his bring your own rice container.
And in some cases, he even got seconds. To his credit, he was always polite
and complimentary, telling the person working the pork rib station that it was
(50:53):
the most delicious rice with meat and veggies he's ever had.
The news outlet said that the man's behavior attracted both acceptance and criticism
on China's social media networks.
The purpose of offering free samples is to give customers the opportunity to
try the food, so he did nothing wrong.
While others called him greedy or said that taking his own side dish to Sam's Club was going too far.
(51:17):
Warehouse clubs have steadily increased in China in the past few years.
Sam's Club opened the first store in China in 1996.
At least he's not eating bats. But it expanded its presence significantly in
the years since the coronavirus.
Oh, perfect. Yeah. That's a good flashback to you. So according to Reuters,
counting Sam's Club and Costco-
(51:37):
There are 11 membership warehouse China chains in China, including one opened
by the Yanghui supermarket chain, Freshipo, which owned the e-commerce giant Alibaba.
As of last July, the stores only accounted for three-tenths of a percent of
(51:59):
sales in China. The popularity can only increase from there.
So there you go, Josh. when you go. So instead of doing rice in the United States,
you've got to bring side dishes with you when you go to Sam's Club in the future.
I'm usually eating Famanda cheese. I'm sure you have plenty of that. I do. So this.
(52:21):
Chocolate bar is the global best seller.
Hershey. It's not a Hershey's bar. Nestle. Not a Nestle's bar.
Not a straight chocolate bar. Oh, so I've got to think gay.
How about a payday?
I don't know. Why would that be the global one? No. What do you eat when you're
angry? The Snickers? Yeah. Snickers is the global best-selling chocolate bar.
(52:46):
Eat a Snickers because you're not straight. All right.
Rihanna's real name. I don't know. Robin Fenty. Well, no wonder she changed
it to Rihanna. I was going to say, yeah.
Please run to the stage. Robin Fenty. Good choice. Good choice. All right.
Well, sounds like a cashier at like a Walmart. Yeah, well, on Tuesday,
(53:07):
the reason, so it's a Friday night. We're recording really late.
Actually, it's Saturday morning at this point. Oh, yeah, it's Saturday morning.
Josh is trying to avoid getting back in the snowstorm, but it looks like it
had already started up north. So we'll try and get you out of here before it
gets too bad down this way.
But I am headed to Florida to see a co-worker.
As of right now, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday is sunny and 70 degrees every day.
(53:30):
I hope she takes you to Temple. pool and then there's potential space launch
on Tuesday night which will be cool if I could see that so SpaceX is supposed
to launch on Tuesday so we'll get to so potentially get to see that so on next week's episode.
Hopefully, you'll have a recap of everything that happened there.
But that is going to do it, everybody. Season 4, Episode 37 of The Dead End with Josh and AC.
(53:55):
Joshandac.podb.com. You know how to find us. But in case you want to change
it up, we are on Apple Podcasts. We're on iTunes.
We're on the Podbean app, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, Player FM.
We're on Samsung, Google Podcasts, Pandora, iHeartRadio, CastBox.
We're available on Amazon Music through your Alexa, Josh.
Find us on Facebook, Josh and AC Podcast, or simply at Josh and AC.
(54:16):
We're on Instagram, Josh and AC Podcast on there.
Or send us an email, joshandacpodcast at gmail.com.
We just want to let everybody know the shorter shows last week and this week
strictly because we're on a time crunch with the lateness of the show this week. Yeah.
How short are we this week? So 55. It'll be about 56 minutes.
(54:38):
So we're almost down an hour. It's kind of back where we started,
but it's not a content issue.
It's just we're trying to. Well, no, it is because you didn't have anything,
and I had everything, and then you told me. Well, no, no. It was really we're trying.
Like, I could have stretched it. You're over there like a sensor on a fucking
network going like this to stop.
I told Josh the longer we go, the more irritated I'm going to get.
(54:58):
I think he's getting irritated.
So anyway, but have a great week, everybody.
Florida recap when I get back the next time. So have a great week.
See you soon. Pottsville recap when I get back.
Yeah, we'll see how you do. We'll see how you do in this snowstorm getting home.
Music.
Music.
You're doomed. stop the sound effects let me finish my damn article,
(00:32):
from the intro memorial spare bedroom
studio located somewhere others never want to be it's season four of the josh
and ac podcast gotta suck on them before you chew on them Follow the Dead End
with Josh and AC on our socials at Josh and AC on Facebook,
(00:55):
Josh and AC podcast on Instagram and YouTube, or email us joshandacpodcast at gmail.com.
Tastes like weed. I'm done. I quit. You can be a total badass.
Dog food tastes that good. I don't want to be right. He took all six inches of that at once.
(01:15):
Music.
And I love bananas,
now if you dare here are your hosts AC everything was nice up until now and
(01:42):
I have to record with you you son of a bitch and Josh lift your shirt up baby.
Music.
(02:17):
Coming in another Thursday. One week ago we were with you, that's right, here at the Dead End.
Coming in with Season 4, Episode 37. I am Josh, AC's across the room.
I did that without a cue this time. You see, we're like professionals.
Yeah, it was pretty good. I wasn't paying attention.
You're too busy sitting over there chuggling on your filly's water or whatever
you're drinking. That's iced tea.
(02:39):
All right, well, welcome in, everybody. Josh just stopped talking.
Welcome in, everybody. Season 4, Episode 37 of the Dead End with Josh,
AC. I have like a stroke in my mind. I don't know what was going on. Josh and AC.
Poppy.com. You know how to find us when we go over to the show.
Did you say Josh and Racine?
No, Josh and AC. I thought you said Josh and Racine. I'm like,
what are we in? League of their own? Welcome, everybody. Season four, episode 37.
We are still on this marathon of getting shit done because Josh doesn't want
(03:07):
to drive through a blizzard.
It's already 11.22 at night. For one and all, to play ball.
Music.
You look like Rosie O'Donnell, kind of, when she was fat. Thanks,
Josh. I appreciate that.
All right. Well, yeah. 22. Number 22. We love you, 22.
(03:32):
She was ugly. All right. Well, Josh, breaking news. If you haven't heard,
breaking news, Bill Post, the co-inventor of what has died at age 96?
Bill Post? A tasty breakfast treat.
Oatmeal. No, that's not a tasty breakfast treat. I love oatmeal.
Bill Post. Oh, Post cereal. He helped create the on-the-go breakfast as the inventor of Pop-Tarts.
(04:01):
So he's to blame. Yeah, so on February 10th, he died at the age of 96.
What are you saying, breaking news? That was a week ago. Well,
it's more for these people. Yeah, but breaking news for us, right?
I wanted to do it on the last show, but we had too much shit to talk about.
We're recording this on the 16th. Right, well, yeah.
Breaking news. It's going to air on Leap Day.
(04:24):
Yeah. Hey, this is the first time in our podcast history that we've recorded a show on Leap Day.
Music.
Ladies and gentlemen, Abraham Lincoln has been assassinated. Stop. Abraham.
(04:47):
Stop. This was at Ford's Theater.
He was watching a play with his wife, Mary, when an unknown assailant,
we're being told is John Wilkes Booth, a Confederate soldier.
Everybody, this is why I don't let Josh do things, because he just takes things to the next level.
Well, you said breaking news. Well, but it is breaking news.
(05:07):
No, it is. It happened a fucking week ago.
Well, they don't need to know that. They might not even know what had happened.
Well, they do. You said, this happened on February 10th. Well,
on February 10th, the co-founder... Listen, I'm just going to do this. No more breaking news.
On February 10th, the co-founder of Pop-Tart died. There you go.
Fuck it. All right, done.
Because Josh has to be an asshole. All right, well, on to you.
Apparently, it's your show. No, it's not. Don't you have anything?
(05:28):
Of course I have stuff, but it's apparently your show tonight.
Let me see something.
Hang on a second.
Oh, Josh is well prepared for the show. Okay, well, I just was getting my dates correct.
(05:51):
Lincoln was shot April 14th. Are you done?
1865 around 10 p.m. Are you done? It looks like he passed away 722 tomorrow.
Are you done making fun of me?
All right. Because you know I'm already irritated that it's 11 o'clock at night.
We're still recording an episode.
Boy, I can't wait to find out if the Beatles get killed Can you move on?
(06:15):
Remember when we talked about this letting things go and moving on, Josh?
Right, but usually you're like, so I see baseball What do you have to say about baseball?
Usually you prompt me and then I go on.
Herpes? What do you have to say about that, Josh? Okay. Are you done yet?
Whenever you're ready, buddy, I'll move on. Well, no, I thought that's your
(06:37):
show, so go ahead. What do you mean it's my show? Well, most of this is you. I got nothing, so...
So then you say, okay, so... No, the only thing is, I think you'll actually
get a kick out of this. So Tuesday... Is it Tuesday?
Thursday. Thursday. We almost forgot to do our taste test. Oh,
yeah. Well, that'll be this show.
Well, no shit. We can't go back. Yeah, let's go back to the last episode.
Breaking news on last week's episode we didn't do a
(07:00):
taste so on thursday uh i get
up at the crack ass of dawn to go to the dentist okay oh my
god i saw this i was dying so i didn't realize his
name was gerald also we're both we have the same we both
have the same name so so i get there my dad's there
and i'm there and i'm like fuck i know exactly what happened
so did they call you so what happens i got all the messages
(07:20):
because they scheduled my dad's appointment under my
name instead of his name she said
he's an imposter so i got there and
i said my dad's like oh well we both have an appointment i said no dad i
said you're you they probably put where did where did you
go in hamburg for this no so it's uh central berks dental in leesport oh okay
across the Subaru dealer that's still a fucking hall i know my dad actually
(07:44):
was going to be nice and give me the appointment but i said no dad you're getting
your cavity filled so they rescheduled me but i was supposed to be rescheduled
and i thought this was just the rescheduled appointment they just never called
me to tell me they were going to reschedule it to that date.
So, but I said to the lady, I said, like, here's the thing.
My dad talked to the doctor, like to our dentist, and he said,
you should have just told him I would. He's like, I can clean his teeth in 10
(08:05):
minutes, you know, and I know Dr. Jordan can do that.
So he should have. He should have. So that's what Michael Jordan's doing in
retirement. Yeah, Dr. Jordan. No, but so he.
The whole thing is, there used to be an office lady there. She was there my
entire life, I feel like.
She would have went back to Dr. Jordan and said, hey, this happened.
We screwed up. Can we just take care of it?
(08:27):
But this other lady doesn't know how to do that. She just rescheduled me.
And they said that I was like, I think my dad acknowledged that they said I
was extremely patient in the way I handled it.
I wasn't going to argue. It was too early. I didn't feel like them scraping up my teeth.
They got me in two weeks later. So it's not that big of a deal.
But I said to my dad, my dad thought that we both had the same appointment.
I said, no, dad. Yeah, they probably scheduled me into your appointment.
(08:48):
You should have sat on your dad's lap, and they could have cleaned your teeth at the same time. Yeah.
So my dad was, like, really upset because I drove all the way up there,
and he was going to give me his appointment. I was like, no. I was like, it's fine.
I said, but it makes sense because I would have never scheduled a 7 o'clock
appointment with a hygienist. That's ridiculous. I do that.
So get this shit. I don't have dental insurance anymore because they switched
to some lame-ass company who doesn't cut.
(09:09):
Like, it's all Indian doctors, and I'm not switching again. Yeah.
And, like, I was supposed to have an appointment maybe, like,
a month ago, and they canceled it on me.
They're like, oh, your hygienist left. I'm like, well, I'm not hygienist loyal.
I just want somebody. They're all going to scrape and hurt me.
Well, I'm particular to make sure that the hygienists are, they can't use the
(09:34):
electronic equipment on my teeth.
What do you mean electronic? So there's something called a Gravitron.
Yeah, that's right at the fair. Well, no, that's Gravitron. They have something
called a Gravitron, I believe it's called, in dental work.
And that's when they touch your nuts, right? No. Oh. No, that's Grabathon.
No, they literally, it's like a high-pressure wash on your teeth.
(09:57):
It's really for the hygienist to
be lazy instead of actually scraping your teeth. It's like a water pick.
No, but it hurts your teeth, Josh. My mouth was in pain after this lady was done and my teeth hurt.
Well, I like when they take the fishing hook thing and get it stuck between
your teeth and then they yank on it. Well, if you'd clean your teeth more often.
Does he brush his teeth, Amber?
(10:17):
I do. You just put a lot of shit in your mouth. I use a wire brush. Okay.
Do you use a water pick? No, fuck that. I have one of those.
It's weird. It works, but it's weird.
I flush the toilet a couple times and stick my mouth in it.
It gives you the same effect without the pain from getting into your gum line.
(10:38):
But, yeah, I don't know. So, we have something to try here. Something that I
can't see how this is going to be good at all.
But since we're talking about cavities I had to write down what you just said
What about sticking my head in the toilet You said I flush the toilet And then
I stick my head in it And then I stick my mouth in it Anyway, Dr.
(10:59):
Pepper Peeps I can imagine, I know what flat Dr. Pepper tastes like So I can
imagine these are going to taste like flat Dr.
Pepper They stink Like they smell Dr. Peppery,
It doesn't taste, well it actually tastes like Dr. Pepper Does it?
Alright, I'll try one Here Here. Sorry, PBs.
Actually, it does taste like Dr. Pepper a little bit.
(11:22):
It's really not that bad. Do you want to try one?
I gave it to the dog. That's how much I'm interested in it. He's going to die.
You can't give him that. Why? It's marshmallow.
And soda. It's not soda. It's flavor. He has to walk around with a fucking pump on him because... Huh?
(11:44):
Walmart.
They're not half bad. They're all right. I mean, I would prefer the yellow Peeps.
I'm just not a Peeps person, so. I like the ones that actually are like baby
chickens, and you get the meat.
That's true. By the way, I did, the last time we did the podcast.
(12:05):
No, no, I went to the mushroom farm that night. Did I go? Yeah,
you were telling us. Okay, so we did talk about it. Okay, I just want to make
sure I talk about that. That was actually pretty cool.
Oh yeah, because we had the podcast the night after The day that I came home
from that Josh is Play Fluffy Bunny, Josh.
Say it Fluffy Bunny Yeah, there you go,
(12:28):
While Josh is stuffing his face So anyway, the dentist appointment I got rescheduled
for March 2nd So I will be going Monday morning Which is my actual appointment
My dad also wanted to make sure that they,
Didn't schedule me into his August Cleaning appointment
appointment so they did they had the right they so she
just goofed on the one um he had my dad said
(12:48):
he when he did his cleaning the last time he had a substitute uh hygienist
so she goofed it up what the fuck is it with you but so my dad was scheduled
for the august one so i have i have a cleaning scheduled now march
3rd so i think i'm gonna have a stroke from eating all them
which is real weird too that i got in and then she says to
me do you want do you want me to tell them like it's as soon as
possible so they put you on the cancellation list and i was like no
(13:08):
i said it's two weeks from now i said that's fine i was like i just
need to get the cleaning done in the first quarter of the year so i
was like whatever so anyway all right so roadway road rage
incident shocker josh has road rage no so i
hate when people get behind me and ride my
ass especially when i'm in my car because it's low to the ground and the headlights
(13:29):
just shine in my face and all that bullshit bless you for sneezing so anyhow
this motherfucker in a volvo was riding my ass down 61 the other night.
And I wouldn't have cared if I wouldn't have had kids with me. And...
(13:52):
He was like on my ass, off my ass, on my ass, off my ass. Then he flew by me,
got in front of me, so I high beamed him.
And I turned him off. And it was coming down 61 where you get to the light at Wawa.
And wouldn't you know it, I got right behind the guy. Are you okay over there?
(14:20):
Apparently this is what weed does to her.
Show she's hot oh good for you tonight shelds bought you by rso,
jesus what are you doing oh here you can use my bathroom there's probably tissues
or toilet paper in there so anyway so i got behind him and i just started laying
(14:44):
on the horn just to be a dickhead,
You never so then,
The light changes he goes and then he's like break-checking me a little bit,
I'm sure you handled this well.
I did so then then I start you know doing my my talk And I'm mouthing off to this motherfucker. I,
(15:05):
And when, you know, we got the next red light together, I start honking the
horn again and I'm flashing my lights at him.
And then we go and he's going to turn into Hamburg at Redner's there at the Redner's light.
So I follow him and he quick shoots back over.
(15:26):
So I shot back over behind him and then he's driving. Why can't you just leave people alone?
And he's making like lane changes without signals. So I kept doing the same
thing and getting, I got, I was right on him the whole time.
And then he was like, he'd signal, he'd come halfway over and stay back in the lane.
(15:46):
Then I followed this guy all the way down to Shoei and then he pulled a U-turn at the stoplight.
Why do you think this is funny? This guy could have shot you,
dude. I don't care. Don't act like a fucking asshole.
Listen, you just, you let people do their shit and then move on.
He was clearly more scared. Oh, I let him move on.
He did the U-turn. After you followed him for how long? Well,
(16:08):
I was going that way. It's not like I wasn't, you know, like I went out of my way.
Yeah. I don't know what mic this is, but come over and use mine.
You tell her that all the time. Yeah. Just use it, bitch. Talking to my big fluffy purse.
(16:29):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, Amber's in the studio this evening.
And, well, she's got a story about a doctor friend of hers.
You have to move towards it.
Is this okay? Sure. So speaking of road rage, I'm at work the other day and
(16:52):
one of our nocturnist doctors was telling us about a road rage incident he had.
Take off your clothes. Long story short, he said, What did you play?
Fuck off.
So, during that... Now she knows how I feel. During that snowstorm we had,
(17:12):
he was saying he was going home.
He had a two-wheel drive vehicle. For a doctor, you'd think he had something nicer.
But, um, he gets... Why didn't you tell him what kind of car it was?
I think it was a Honda something. Yeah, you said a two-wheel drive vehicle. Shut up!
I'll kill you. She's high, Josh. Leave her alone. I am.
(17:34):
I think he said it was a Honda Accord he was telling them today.
But anyhow, he said that he's afraid of getting submerged in a pond so he carries a crowbar with him.
Anyway, he has his Jeep fall on him right up his ass.
It's all snowy out and they get to a red light together.
This guy gets out of the car so the doctor grabs the crowbar.
(17:55):
He thinks he's either gonna murder this guy or the guy's gonna murder him.
So there's a road rage thing for ya.
Josh is getting tired now, everybody, so he's going to start being a douche
with all the sound effects.
No, I'm not. I just thought it was so great. Amber's highs and kites.
I play the Reading Rainbow theme. He's just going to keep going on and on tonight.
(18:21):
I'm stopping at an hour because I'm tired. What are we at?
We still got 40 minutes. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Plenty of time. Yeah.
Well, not if you keep going the way that you're going. Anyway,
finish your damn road rage story.
That was it. I followed the guy down and that was it. All right.
Not yet. It's not snowing good. Anyway, I have looked out the window recently. It's not snowing yet.
(18:45):
Like within the last five minutes, Amber. She's so worried about the snow.
Why don't you go out and play?
No. I can tell you now she can get hit by a car. Yeah, right in the street, you know? All right.
We scooping her up off the street. Play puzzle with the body. Great. All right.
Shooting somewhere, Josh. Yeah, so, you know, Joel Osteen, the pastor.
(19:08):
Yeah. Of that gigantic mega church. Yeah.
In Texas, right? Yeah. So, in Houston, Texas, this was like a week ago.
One of his one of the people that was a parishioner in his church went in with
an AR-15 and was going to shoot the place up,
(19:33):
Janice Yvonne Moreno opened fire with an AR-15 but was killed in a gunfight
with two security guards,
it's pretty bad that he has to have security at his church I don't know A lot
of big churches like that do that now, though. But anyway.
(19:53):
Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Now she's making fun of my work. She's high as a kite.
So, listen, Amber.
Don't make me start. No, they don't come down this road.
It is still unknown who fired the shots that struck her kid, though.
(20:19):
She had a 7-year-old kid who was injured.
And then there was also a 57-year-old man who was shot in the leg,
but he was released from the hospital.
They're not sure what exactly happened, but they did say that people who know the family,
said that there was a divorce and a custody battle and the parents were fighting over the kid.
(20:43):
The kid was born prematurely in 2016 when his mom was just...
Why is this all relevant?
This is what it says. The mom was six months pregnant when the kid was born.
His father, Enrique Carazon III, The third described the divorce,
(21:03):
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, they shot the church up to kill the bitch.
I don't understand, like, why. But now I'm sure he'll be asking for more money to, like, oh, please.
Well, now he'll tell the government they need to step in and help him. I need money.
Jesus wants money for his church to be safe. So why don't you send us some money?
(21:25):
Yeah. So, but they said the kid got shot and now he's in critical condition.
So, mom's dead, kid's in critical condition.
What a fuck. I don't know, man. Why would you go shoot up a church?
Well, there's lots of crazy people. Listen, that's not the first time a church
has been. Is he really in a church?
(21:47):
He's in a fucking arena. It's an old arena. It was like the old Civic Center or some shit.
He's really, I don't know, And he's probably worth billions of dollars. Not billions.
I used to listen to his... Because he has a channel on Sirius. Of course he does.
Joel Osteen Network.
(22:11):
Oh, it's not even close, dude.
50 mil. He's not even that rich. Looks like God's only worth $50 million.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Never mind. Never mind. Over 50 mil.
And then you go scroll down to and it says his official net worth for 2024 is 180 million.
Yep. All because dumb people keep giving him money.
(22:34):
Good God. He probably has a private jet, five houses. He probably has.
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure he's on What's-His-Face Island list.
You and Epstein, man. That's like the second reference to that in like three weeks. All right.
All right. So do we want to do the conspiracy theories or the semen facts first?
Do the conspiracy theory. What?
(22:56):
Are you all right over there? I think I might be having a stroke again. Jesus. All right.
Well, Joshua's told his conspiracy theories he had to narrow them down because
we do not have four hours to go over, and Joshua liked to. Out of 30, I picked four.
And we don't have to... That's it, four of them, wow. We don't have to go into,
you know, like, detail, detail with them.
So the first one on my list, the number one thing, and I want your feedback on these.
(23:20):
I'm just going to sit here. This is an article from Esquire.
So the first conspiracy theory they have is the moon landing was fake. Do you think it was fake?
So people say that because the flag wasn't flying or something like that,
right? It says the flag moving in the wind.
But is there wind in space?
(23:40):
But see, wouldn't the flag float, right? Because of zero gravity.
Yeah. So the flag would float.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't see how...
They say it was filmed on a sound stage and has been kept secret by the CIA.
So the people going to space. Well, so listen, they obviously sent people to
(24:02):
space. They have video of them being in space.
So maybe they never landed on the moon. But I don't. Here's the whole thing.
I don't believe that we would have done this this whole time and never landed,
actually landed on the moon. Although it's weird we've never been back.
That's what I don't understand.
Since we landed that first time? Yeah. I thought we've been back once.
I don't think they've had people on the moon since.
Okay. Okay, so maybe it is a conspiracy theory. Maybe that's where this comes
(24:22):
from. But then, like, they...
I mean, I don't know. I'm fascinated by the pictures they send back from Mars
with, like, the little robots.
That shit amazes me, because do you believe in aliens?
I swear, there's got to be... No, I don't necessarily want to say that I believe
in aliens, but I believe that there is other life forms besides the Earth.
Why are we the only planet that has living things on it?
(24:44):
Yeah, I mean, look at... What are the resources here that are different than
other... See, I'm not a science guy, So I don't know what resources are available. But Bill Nye is.
But I don't know enough about other planets to know. But Mars is like hot and cold, right?
Yeah. They think Mars actually had life at one point. Well, I thought they were
saying that it does have life on it. Well, it still does.
(25:05):
But if it has life on it, they haven't found the fucking rovers that we've been
floating around for a long time. There's probably like a whole like,
it's like Center City, Chicago or some shit out there. Oh, you dumb motherfuckers.
Do you think aliens do drive-bys? Like I said, I don't believe in aliens.
I believe there are life forms on other planets. Like I said,
(25:27):
I can't imagine that there would not be another planet that couldn't sustain life.
All right. Well, moving to the next one. COVID-19 was engineered by the media.
I don't know that it was engineered by the media, but I definitely think the
media played a big role in COVID-19.
(25:49):
I agree i don't my uncle was like oh it's genocide i don't think so but genocide,
like trying to kill off the human population listen let's not talk about your
uncle i'm assuming you're talking about what's his face well yeah because it'd
be kind of hard for my other uncle because he's six feet under so yeah well
no but he wouldn't really be talking well butch because we've talked about butch
(26:13):
having all kinds of weird theories okay uh next one Bigfoot is real.
I think absolutely Bigfoot's real. Sure.
Where is it, though? Where is Bigfoot? Well, he's hiding.
Listen, they say Area 51 is just a military base.
No, it isn't. Well, that's the whole thing. Like, obviously,
(26:34):
the government hides things everywhere.
I think, you know, it's just like, is there a cure for cancer?
No, there never will be a cure for cancer. You know why?
Because they make too much money on treatment. Because the treatment is too
much. Diabetes. There's never going to be a cure. Diabetes.
There's never going to be a cure for diabetes because companies make too much money off of it.
See, I... Never going to be a cure for AIDS. You know why? Because all the medications,
(26:55):
the prophylactic medications... Because how else do you kill gay people? Well, no. No, prep.
Prep is a big money maker, so prep is the stuff that you take to prevent it,
prevent you from getting it, but then the post... Did you get aroused at all
when I was kissing you in the bed?
The actual medication is... So there's not going to be a cure for these things.
Because it doesn't make too much money off of it. I think Bigfoot's...
(27:18):
Although, it's weird, though, because how can we have all these high-tech cameras,
and you can show me video of two
moose fucking but you can't get bigfoot just
walking through the valley right so like
i would say it would be more what does anybody have
to gain if we don't ever find bigfoot what what do
(27:38):
we have to gain from this i don't know but i now maybe he's not real because
if he's bigfoot he'd be gigantic okay like it's not like it's a little foot
little foot i'd be like yeah you know he he exists you just can't see him he's
four inches tall that's a little foot listen that's a conspiracy theory i I
could give two shits about.
Really? To be honest with you. What about Harry and the Hendersons?
(28:01):
I could care less about Bigfoot.
You've seen Harry and the Hendersons, right? Yeah, but I could,
again, could care less about Bigfoot. I don't know.
All right. Now, when I'm at camp next weekend in the woods, I might care.
And when you rip your tent open.
I should... You'd fucking kill me. I ain't telling you where I'm at.
Get him a gun, though. I just want... I'm looking for a tree.
(28:24):
Don't even try it. I'm locking the gate so you can't come in well
on bigfoot i can climb over the gate anyway and
the last one i wanted to talk about was the covid19
vaccine has a 5g chip inside of it to track you yep because i felt that get
shot right into my arm every time i got one of those shots oh my god people
(28:45):
are fucking stupid my uncle and my grandmother believed and they also believed
that the military was going to come to your front door and yank you out of your
house and give you the shot.
Really? Sounds exciting. But now we'll delve more into these because I still
(29:05):
have, you know, 26 other theories we can talk about.
You know, every couple of shows. Spread it out a little bit.
Yeah, well, Josh likes it when it's spread. We'll do it as breaking news. Yeah.
All right. All right, well, now we're going to go back on something that we
talked about a couple shows ago.
And this was the semen facts. We never got back to the semen facts.
So we're going to go back in history.
(29:27):
So here we go great i got hiccups now now this is 12 fascinating facts i'm getting
tired so please don't drag these
out josh uh please make sure so sperm and semen are they the same thing,
(29:48):
yes no they're not people often use these terms interchangeably but they're
not the same semen Semen is what's produced by a penis during ejaculation.
Sperm, which is in semen, are the microscopic tadpole-esque germ cells on a
(30:08):
mission to fertilize the egg.
They carry half the number of the regular human chromosomes,
while the eggs carry the other half.
So if a sperm is an X, it fertilizes with a Y, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. So sperm are in your cum.
Okay good to know i think next week on the show we're gonna come on a slide,
(30:31):
and no we're not why no i would love to you could do it at home we'll get a
little bit in a in a cup okay and you can do it that way a little bit like i
don't need that much i need just enough to smear on a i could probably get pre-cum
and smeared on the end of the thing right all right that's It's disgusting.
Anyway, here we go. For all you people who eat this stuff, the semen contains
(30:54):
only 5 to 10 calories per ejaculation. See, it's healthy.
Should I see what it says on Weight Watchers for this?
Are you kidding me? I'm going to do this.
Let's see what it says.
It's a high-fiber diet or high-protein diet. it i think your fate my favorite
(31:15):
quote from when we talked about this before was well think about it you're eating
little babies up a semolina roll uh semolina loaf no no that's something else,
semen does not come up on weight watchers fuck those bastards i was curious
to see how many points i get for that.
There is lots of sperm in each ejaculation. The average ejaculation clocks in
(31:42):
around 1.5 to 5 milliliters of semen containing 15 million sperm.
Could you imagine a poor guy that had to sit there and count all them? 15 million sperm.
And they're swimming around, so you can't, like... Yeah, I think they would
guesstimate that, right?
I don't think you would, like, stand there and count them. Some dude sat there
for three days and counted them.
(32:03):
Yeah, while they're all swimming. We had to eat them all. One. God, stop.
There isn't usually... Oh, fuck. There goes my idea.
There isn't any sperm in pre-cum, so much for wiping my wiener on a microscope slide.
Sperm can survive for quite some time inside the female body.
(32:25):
That's why everybody on forensic files gets caught. They blow their load and
then they throw them under a... Well, it says in the body.
Well, yeah, but they blow their load. In a female body. Yeah.
Well, usually they don't fuck dead men. Oh, Jesus.
Josh is on a roll here. Holy crap. They can hang around for five days.
(32:47):
Sperm love to be in warm and wet environments. Huh.
That's why I come in my fish tank.
There's a heater in there. Certain everyday things can damage men's sperm.
Some of the top culprits, regular smoking, excessive heat, like working in front
of a 400-degree oven all day, or using hot tubs a few times a week.
(33:12):
Being overweight, oh, there we go, all my sperm are dead. I shoot out a bunch of dead sperm.
Also, even though it's not scientifically proven, it might be smart for guys
to keep laptops away from their genitals.
Interesting. You know, I'll remember that next time. Yeah, don't put your laptop
on your lap. Next time I'm fucking my computer. It's only called a laptop.
(33:33):
Next time I'm fucking my computer, I'll make... Jesus Christ. All right.
Sperm go from creation to ejaculation in about three months.
Also, it's like... It takes three months to make a sperm? It's the semen version of how you...
First, it takes 64 days for the male body to produce sperm.
Then 24 to 28 more
(33:55):
days for it to be transported and finally finally ejaculated i
can ejaculate every day i think taking me 64 days in between beating off yeah
there's there's no scientifically sound way for men to this one's the worst
there's no scientifically sound way for men to change the the taste or smell of their semen.
(34:20):
Oh, really? So it just happens? But if he's healthy, it shouldn't taste positively foul either.
Maybe not like donuts, but definitely not awful.
One consistent thing is to understand that it will be distasteful if you smoke.
(34:40):
Probably in large part to the different toxins in there.
But there's no proof that if you eat kiwi, your semen tastes and smells lovely.
So really, it's all anecdotal. Oh my god.
So if you eat grass, it doesn't taste like grass. Yeah, no, so you could go
blow a cow and it wouldn't taste like you're eating a pasture.
(35:02):
The consistency can change... Oh god. Consistency can change from day to day.
Hydration is a major factor in guys' emissions, which can be either very slippery
one day and thick and goopy.
I know this one time I came and I thought I don't want to know about this.
(35:23):
I thought it was Elmer's glue.
Josh, I don't want to know about it. I made a popsicle coaster.
I don't want to hear this. You really think I made a popsicle coaster with my
own semen? I don't know, but I don't want to hear what your semen looks like,
dude. Some semen. It's gross.
You're the one guy that I could care less what your semen looks like.
Well, there's multiple guys that I could care less for, but Jesus Christ,
(35:45):
Josh. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Some semen is gelatinous?
So some can be gelatinous, some can be liquefied in smoothing consistency,
or some will notice tapioca-like pearls. That's disgusting.
You have a problem. If that semen were to hang out in the vagina,
(36:07):
it would just eventually liquefy and become more mobile.
So there you go. See, mine's like the consistency of cinnamon raisin rice pudding.
How many more of these things you got? This is getting gross. Three more. Okay.
This is getting gross. I'm going to puke. You can't freeze semen the way they do on movies and TV.
(36:31):
To be able to actually freeze semen... Wait a minute.
So it says it's a plot point of a single woman freezing someone's semen in a
thermos, then thawing it and whipping out a turkey baster to take care of...
So that actually doesn't work. No.
So for all you people turkey basting semen into your body, Frank, it's not going to work.
(36:58):
It's extremely unlikely to be allergic to semen, but it is possible. We did talk about that.
So if you experience itching, swelling, or redness of the area,
you're probably allergic to it.
My lips swelled up. It looked like I had Chanel No. 6 on.
And last, but not least for this list, men produce a crazy amount of sperm in a lifetime.
(37:22):
The 95% of men who produce normal levels of sperm create 2 trillion swimmers in their lifetime.
Yes, that's trillion with a T.
Out of those 2 trillion, they ejaculate something like 700 billion sperm.
So I'm rich. I just am rich in the wrong... Yeah.
(37:44):
Jesus. how many sperm do i have nine billion 240 million sperm yeah all right well everybody,
from sperm to leap year so everybody
it is february 29th 2024 whole
extra day of coming i know there you go um so
(38:06):
here's the deal i got nothing for you on the days because
they got nothing because it's leap and so this only happens
obviously once every four years this is a serious question how
do you celebrate your birthday if you're a leap year
kid do you only celebrate it i think you celebrate on another
day i we have one employee at work that's a leap year baby
so but yeah i got nothing no birthdays nothing like
(38:26):
that listed because uh it's a leap day so all
right so josh my trivia question for this week this is the global best-selling
chocolate bar global best-selling chocolate bar mmm but come tastic no okay,
(38:48):
what is Rihanna's real name hmm I knew this at one point but I would have to
I'd have to look it up I know her number one song when her and Chris Brown were
together was beat me with an umbrella Ella Ella that's terrible all right all
All right, moving on, let's go to my into clip.
Very funny movie, but this is kind of a very sentimental part of the movie. Let's go to Home Alone 2.
(39:13):
Music.
(39:35):
It's a turtle dove. I have one, you have one. As long as we each have a turtle
dove, we'll be friends forever.
Music.
Thank you. I won't forget you. Trust me.
(40:09):
All right. Is there any better Christmas movie than Home Alone?
I love Home Alone. He'll tell you the same. Home Alone's a good movie,
too. We watched a lot during Christmas.
All right. So why would I pick that scene? Because a pigeon has been suspected of being a Chinese spy.
But he was finally cleared by Indian police. That's right.
(40:32):
The suspected Chinese spy pigeon was detained for eight months before being
released into the wild on Tuesday.
This occurred in India, where Indian police cleared a suspected Chinese spy
pigeon after eight months detention,
(40:53):
where he was released into the wild on Tuesday, probably at an Indian trap shoot.
The pigeons ordeal began in may when
it was captured near the port in mumbai with
two rings tied around its legs carrying words
that looked like chinese police suspected it
(41:13):
to be involved in espionage and took it in later sending
it to mumbai's by sakar by
didn't schwab petted hospital for
animals eventually it turned out that
the pigeon was open water racing bird we used
to race pigeons when i was a kid my dad had them talk about
(41:33):
interesting times there yeah uh with police permission the bird was transferred
to bombay society for the prevention of cruelty to animals whose doctors set
it free mumbai police could not be reached for comment it's not the First time
a bird has come under suspicion in 2020,
police in India-controlled Kashmir released a pigeon,
(41:56):
belonging to a Pakistani fisherman after a probe found that the bird,
which had flown across the heavily
militarized border between the nuclear-armed nations, was not a spy.
In 2016, another pigeon was taken in to cut...
How could you have a spy pigeon? You put them in a cage. Well,
(42:19):
I'm sure you can have spy pigeons. Well, what are they going to do?
No, they can put a fucking... Oh, like a camera on them and shit. Yeah, like a drone.
Oh, yeah. I would just rather fly a drone. Well, no, but a drone is suspicious. A pigeon's not.
Pigeons are just flying around. Well, I put a little mustache on my drone, though. Oh, my God.
I'm going to miss Ragoo. While it buzzes around. And from pigeons to maggots.
(42:46):
That's right. Wiggly maggots fell on a Delta passenger from the overhead bin.
Flight attendants discovered the creatures in a suitcase that also contained
a rotting fish wrapped in newspaper.
How did the fish get on the plane? I don't know. A passenger on a Delta Airlines
flight from Amsterdam to Detroit is probably very bugged. They were probably high.
(43:10):
Coming from Amsterdam, by her experience. That's because at least a dozen maggots
fell from the overhead bin onto
the woman's lap, which led to the flight returning to the Netherlands.
The woman's seat and mate, Phillip Schott, told a Fox affiliate,
WJBK-TV in Detroit, how the woman reacted to having the creepy larva descend upon her.
(43:35):
She was freaking out. She was just trying to get off.
Wait, she was just trying to kind of fight these maggots off.
They're maggots to the size of a fucking, what, two, three centimeters?
Yeah, but Josh, they're gross. You've seen maggots, right? Okay,
yeah, but to fight them off? It's not fucking Mike Tyson crawling on your lap.
(43:57):
I'd be puking if they were on top of me. That's gross.
So he said at first he thought the falling maggots were some kind of prank,
but he had no clue what was really happening.
I don't really know what was going through my mind. I was kind of trying to
process it. Disgust was one of the first things, of course.
We had to wait there for help to actually come.
(44:18):
The man was eventually moved to another seat while a flight attendant searched
the overhead bins for the source of them, maggots.
They found out that there was a rotten fish in there.
I did see everyone's reaction to the bag being opened, which was immediately nose-pinching.
A man then claimed to be the owner of the rotting fish, which was wrapped in newspapers.
(44:41):
Flight attendants grabbed the maggot-infested fish and took it to the back of
the plane, where they cut it up and served it as the in-flight meal.
No. Jesus Christ, you had my attention there. The plane was flying over England
when the pilot... Listen, if you cooked it, it would have been fine.
Yeah, the maggots are just extra flavor. Yeah. When the plane landed,
passengers exited and were scheduled onto other flights, hopefully less smelly.
(45:06):
In addition, the suitcase that held the decomposing fish was put into a bag to be burned.
Schott told WJBK, he does not know if the man who bought the fish and the maggots
on the plane was detained or fined.
He was just happy to get another flight. Still, he had questions.
(45:27):
I'm surprised that they had a rotten fish and live maggots and it was not picked up by security.
Obviously, in Amsterdam, you can take whatever the fuck you want on a plane
because they ain't looking that that is true i mean what the fuck currently stowing at pottsville,
pretty heavily too anyway over to you all right so uh what's the weirdest thing
(45:49):
you ever dealt with on a plane weirdest thing on a plane yeah like you know
like a weird smelly person or.
I had a drunk person sitting next to me one time and they kept
serving her that was the weirdest thing really oh yeah huh they
kept serving her it's like you you could clearly see she was intoxicated she
had like three bottles of liquor in front of her there was an indian guy
who took his turban off he shit wiped his ass
(46:10):
with the turban put it back on his head and then he built a shoe bomb
in his slipper it didn't happen all right so
a study was done in milan italy and for
this study they took 40 participants between the ages of 25
and 55 and measured their physical and neurological changes as they ate pasta
and they compared those responses to their reactions while listening to their
(46:32):
favorite songs or watching a sporting event and according to the researchers
eating pasta was more effective than even sports or music at activating cognitive memory processes,
which is a fancy way of saying that it helped the participants remember or recall specific things.
Eating pasta also bested both music and sporting events when it comes to generating
(46:55):
positive emotions, which makes us wonder how you say Buffalo Bills fan in Italian.
So finally, the researchers watched and qualified the participants'
facial expressions and determined that a bowl of pasta was equally
likely to be an indicator of happiness as
the person's favorite song and it
(47:17):
was significantly more likely to generate positive facial expressions
than watching sport through the study science has put itself at the service
of emotions to certify that pasta and happiness are one says a professor at
the place that did this study the result The result tells us that it is precisely
when we eat pasta that we are emotionally active.
(47:38):
It is, therefore, the real act of tasting and savoring the dish in its full
flavor to stimulate our brain.
The participants were also asked to answer the question, when do you eat pasta?
The most common responses were related to having meals with one's family,
friendship, or just when I feel happy.
In addition, when asked how happy eating pasta made them feel,
(47:59):
76% of the study participants responded, a lot.
Are you a homosexual responded that they are
considered listen gays aren't just pasta eaters okay but perhaps
that's due to italy's high per capita pasta
consumption the researchers added sex before the almost that
almost all italians a whopping 99 eat pasta on an average of five times every
(48:20):
week you gotta suck on them before you chew so um yeah with this story um i'll
tell tell you pasta if I'm getting that for dinner and it's like good pasta
it makes me pretty damn happy it makes me sleepy too.
What's your favorite kind of pasta? Favorite kind of pasta? Bolognese.
Or penne alfredo. I don't think I ever had that. Bolognese? It's like a really
(48:41):
nice meat sauce. It's like carrots and shit. A red meat sauce?
Yeah, it's a red meat sauce. It's stewed. Like, it's a stewed meat sauce.
I'll have to make it for you sometime. You get me a good, like...
I also like really good spaghetti and meatballs, too. Chicken fettuccine alfredo? Yeah.
That's so Americanized. But that sauce, though. But I will tell you,
I think my best pasta dish, My most authentic favorite dish is called cacio de pepe.
(49:06):
Ooh, cacio de pepe. Cacio de pepe.
That was in Pinocchio. So it's pasta and cheese, really. They literally use
the pasta water and put cheese in it. It's really good. Cacio de pepe.
All right. Did you ever stick a pasta noodle in your pee hole?
No. I did. I'm sure you did. All right. It's like catheterizing.
All right. So, Josh, the idea of snacking your way through a warehouse store
(49:27):
is apparently a universal thing, and an influencer in China...
Uh he decided to take the concept to a next
level by taking his own box of cooked
rice to sam's club so he can make a serious meal
out of whatever samples they were offered according to the south china what
the fuck is a box of cooked rice you just took a box of well in china they probably
(49:48):
boxes of rice what do you mean like fast like like like chinese chinese yeah
so according to the south china marketing post the influencer whose name has
not been shared was able to put Put together a full flight of samples,
including pieces of chocolate, pistachio nuts, egg puffs, lamb rolls,
and pork ribs. That sounds great.
Do you eat sushi? No. You don't? Not a lot of it. I'm not a big fan of seaweed.
(50:12):
Well, no, no, no. So, like, I tried some for the first time the other week,
and it was, like, rice, and then it was, like, crab meat and,
like, cucumber. I ate that one.
That's a California roll. There was one that was, like, rice and cooked tilapia.
That was pretty good. Ugh.
But it had seaweed in it. No, there was no seaweed in it. The seaweed is the wrapper, Josh.
(50:33):
No, there was no wrapper. It was like the rice was the outside of it. Okay.
All right. So this instant legend asked some of the sample servers to put their
complimentary portions in his bring your own rice container.
And in some cases, he even got seconds. To his credit, he was always polite
and complimentary, telling the person working the pork rib station that it was
(50:53):
the most delicious rice with meat and veggies he's ever had.
The news outlet said that the man's behavior attracted both acceptance and criticism
on China's social media networks.
The purpose of offering free samples is to give customers the opportunity to
try the food, so he did nothing wrong.
While others called him greedy or said that taking his own side dish to Sam's Club was going too far.
(51:17):
Warehouse clubs have steadily increased in China in the past few years.
Sam's Club opened the first store in China in 1996.
At least he's not eating bats. But it expanded its presence significantly in
the years since the coronavirus.
Oh, perfect. Yeah. That's a good flashback to you. So according to Reuters,
counting Sam's Club and Costco-
(51:37):
There are 11 membership warehouse China chains in China, including one opened
by the Yanghui supermarket chain, Freshipo, which owned the e-commerce giant Alibaba.
As of last July, the stores only accounted for three-tenths of a percent of
(51:59):
sales in China. The popularity can only increase from there.
So there you go, Josh. when you go. So instead of doing rice in the United States,
you've got to bring side dishes with you when you go to Sam's Club in the future.
I'm usually eating Famanda cheese. I'm sure you have plenty of that. I do. So this.
(52:21):
Chocolate bar is the global best seller.
Hershey. It's not a Hershey's bar. Nestle. Not a Nestle's bar.
Not a straight chocolate bar. Oh, so I've got to think gay.
How about a payday?
I don't know. Why would that be the global one? No. What do you eat when you're
angry? The Snickers? Yeah. Snickers is the global best-selling chocolate bar.
(52:46):
Eat a Snickers because you're not straight. All right.
Rihanna's real name. I don't know. Robin Fenty. Well, no wonder she changed
it to Rihanna. I was going to say, yeah.
Please run to the stage. Robin Fenty. Good choice. Good choice. All right.
Well, sounds like a cashier at like a Walmart. Yeah, well, on Tuesday,
(53:07):
the reason, so it's a Friday night. We're recording really late.
Actually, it's Saturday morning at this point. Oh, yeah, it's Saturday morning.
Josh is trying to avoid getting back in the snowstorm, but it looks like it
had already started up north. So we'll try and get you out of here before it
gets too bad down this way.
But I am headed to Florida to see a co-worker.
As of right now, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday is sunny and 70 degrees every day.
(53:30):
I hope she takes you to Temple. pool and then there's potential space launch
on Tuesday night which will be cool if I could see that so SpaceX is supposed
to launch on Tuesday so we'll get to so potentially get to see that so on next week's episode.
Hopefully, you'll have a recap of everything that happened there.
But that is going to do it, everybody. Season 4, Episode 37 of The Dead End with Josh and AC.
(53:55):
Joshandac.podb.com. You know how to find us. But in case you want to change
it up, we are on Apple Podcasts. We're on iTunes.
We're on the Podbean app, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, Player FM.
We're on Samsung, Google Podcasts, Pandora, iHeartRadio, CastBox.
We're available on Amazon Music through your Alexa, Josh.
Find us on Facebook, Josh and AC Podcast, or simply at Josh and AC.
(54:16):
We're on Instagram, Josh and AC Podcast on there.
Or send us an email, joshandacpodcast at gmail.com.
We just want to let everybody know the shorter shows last week and this week
strictly because we're on a time crunch with the lateness of the show this week. Yeah.
How short are we this week? So 55. It'll be about 56 minutes.
(54:38):
So we're almost down an hour. It's kind of back where we started,
but it's not a content issue.
It's just we're trying to. Well, no, it is because you didn't have anything,
and I had everything, and then you told me. Well, no, no. It was really we're trying.
Like, I could have stretched it. You're over there like a sensor on a fucking
network going like this to stop.
I told Josh the longer we go, the more irritated I'm going to get.
(54:58):
I think he's getting irritated.
So anyway, but have a great week, everybody.
Florida recap when I get back the next time. So have a great week.
See you soon. Pottsville recap when I get back.
Yeah, we'll see how you do. We'll see how you do in this snowstorm getting home.
Music.
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