May 13, 2024 • 20 mins
Hello gorgeous lady!
Are you wondering how many more first dates you have to endure before you meet your person?
Or how many more times you will be lifting that 10lb. weight at the gym before you can lift the 15lb. weight.?
Whatever your desire or goal, you start out motivated and stoked to get what you want. Then the grind sets in and you begin to wonder how much longer, how many more dates, or lifts or whatever before you finally arrive!
This not knowing is uncomfortable and can even seem unfair. You begin considering that perhaps it isn’t possible so you might as well quit now.
If you resonate with any of that thinking, you are in the right place. Today we are going to talk all about your options when you are in, what I call, the unknown zone. Listen in all the way so you don’t miss the two secret weapons that you have at your disposal right now to help you while you are in the zone.
Let’s jump in to our conversation about the unknown zone right now!
Grab your diet coke, put in those earbuds and let’s talk friend to friend.
What’s next?
- Share this episode with all your single girlfriends.
- Email me at sharon@sharonlamarcoaching.com with questions/comments about today’s episode.
- Follow the show so you don’t miss an episode
- Become an Insider! Visit my website at www.sharonlamarcoaching.com scroll to the bottom and sign up to become an Insider!
- Let’s talk about how you close you are to what you want. Book your FREE 45 minute 1:1 session at www.sharonlamarcoaching.com/freesession
- Join our Facebook community at The Single Christian Woman! https://www.facebook.com/groups/797710822384649
Hope this episode inspires you or makes you think.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello again, gorgeous lady. Are you wondering how many more first dates that
you have to endure before you meet your person?
Or how many more times you have to lift that 10-pound weight at the gym before
you can lift the 15-pound weight?
Isn't it interesting that whatever your goal or desire is, you start out motivated
(00:22):
and stoked to get what you want,
and then the grind sets in, and you begin to wonder how much longer,
how many more dates or lifts or whatever it is before you finally arrive.
And this not knowing is uncomfortable, and it can even seem unfair.
You begin to consider that perhaps it's not even possible, so maybe you should just quit now, right?
(00:46):
Well, if you resonate with any of that, you're in the right place.
Today, we are going to talk about all of the other options that you have besides
quitting while you're in what I call the unknown zone.
So listen in all the way so that you don't miss the three secret weapons that
you have at your disposal right now that will help you while you're in the zone.
(01:09):
So let's jump into our conversation about the unknown zone.
Grab your Diet Coke, put in those earbuds, and let's talk friend to friend.
Do you want to build solid self-confidence and to know your next step is the right one?
Do you find yourself feeling lonely and wondering if God has forgotten you in your singleness?
(01:34):
Hello and welcome to the Single Christian Woman Podcast.
I'm Sharon Lamar, Party of One expert until the age of 52. to.
Remaining single for what felt like a lifetime had me constantly questioning.
Music.
Am I good enough and why had God forgotten me?
(01:55):
It wasn't until I discovered the power coaching had to transform my thinking
and build my relationship with God that my self-confidence skyrocketed and I was happier.
In this podcast, you will find practical strategies, tips, and tools to help
you strengthen two key relationships, the one you have with God and the one you have with yourself.
(02:19):
So grab your Diet Coke, put in those earbuds, and let's chat friend to friend.
Hey friends, how are you today? I am terrific.
It always makes me laugh, but I just did it when podcasters ask,
how you doing? When you know you can't hear an answer back.
But I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I'm hoping that your day is terrific.
(02:42):
When this episode airs, it is May 13th and it's the day after Mother's Day.
And I want to give a quick shout out to the listeners who shared with me how
they are choosing to celebrate their day.
Now, if this is your first time listening to the show, a couple of episodes
ago was all about how challenging Mother's Day can be as a single woman,
(03:04):
and I shared different ways to handle it.
And anyway, I got lots of different messages from ladies about how they're choosing
to spend their Mother's Day.
And one listener shared how she has
a newly divorced friend and they got talking at dinner one night
and decided to celebrate by co-hosting
(03:24):
a brunch together for themselves and for
their children and I think they all they both have children that are like you
know junior high and less so anyway I think that's so fun so they were going
to have brunch together share good food and then they're going to gather around
their children and share a message of the Savior behavior and just enjoy food
(03:44):
and friendship. And I just love that.
I especially love that they're doing that intentionally ahead of time.
They're deciding what their day will be like rather than what it was like.
And you know, that strategy applies to not only holidays, but really your life
in general when you think about it, right?
(04:05):
And so please feel free to continue to share with me how you are intentionally
choosing to spend your Mother's Day.
Okay, so on to today's topic.
Now, sometimes someone says something that really touches my mind,
and it makes me think in a new way, and I love it when that happens.
(04:26):
And this past Sunday, it happened when a friend of ours was sharing his testimony at the pulpit.
And he owns a successful landscape business. And I'm talking the type of landscaping
that's more than just mowing the lawns. I'm talking about like the architectural type landscaping.
The heavy lifting of creating a landscape for his clients that is beautiful,
(04:47):
functional, sustainable.
And part of his work, the way that he landscapes, is removing and planting large grown trees.
I'm not talking about the little saplings that you might get from Lowe's or
the garden store. I'm talking big trees.
At any rate, as you can imagine, in order to plant a large tree,
(05:07):
you have to dig a really large, deep hole.
And to dig such holes safely, you know this if you've done anything in your yard,
you need to call the utility companies ahead of time so that they can come out
and put those little flags and spray paint on your grass about where the utility
lines are or the pipes are so that you don't hit something,
(05:28):
right? Because that's very important.
Anyway, our friend mentioned that how over all of the years that he's done landscaping
and dug holes, he has never hit a pipe or line.
And then he made a comment, and this is the one that made me think.
He said, we just never know how close we were.
And at the same time, he's not hitting a Piper line.
(05:51):
He's recognizing that he could be super close.
He just doesn't know how close he is to hitting the Piper line because he didn't hit it.
Now, as I mulled that over in my head, I began thinking about you,
my friends listening to this podcast, and how you might actually be closer to
hitting on something than you realize.
(06:13):
And hitting on it in a good way. So let me explain.
With some things, it's really easy to know how close you are, right?
Now, I love to read as an example. I'm always reading a book.
In addition to my daily scripture study, I always have some kind of book going on.
And I like the books that you hold. I like to fill the pages,
(06:34):
the paper in my hands, and I like to dog ear them, the pages.
I also always have my trusty red pen in my hand because I'm a person who's marking passages.
I'm making notes. I'm making comments in the book. And then when I start a new
book, I also like to flip clear to the back where you begin to see where the
acknowledgments and references and notes are.
(06:55):
And I kind of like do a little dog ear or put a sticky note on that so that
when I'm reading, I can say to myself, oh, those aren't pages that I'm necessarily
going to need to read as part of the content of the book, but I can refer to them.
So it also helps me know how close I am to the end of the book.
Now, GPS is another way to know how close you are.
(07:15):
It's the time to your destination, right? GPS girl is going to tell us that.
And then there's the timer on your oven. It's going to let you know how close
you are until the roast is done or whatever it is that you have in the oven.
So you see what I mean that sometimes it's easy to know how close you are.
But other aspects are not so clear. And those are the things I want to talk about.
(07:38):
The things that may be closer than you think, and yet how hard it is to know that.
For instance, perhaps you're on a couple of dating apps, and you're going on
lots of first dates, and you're beginning to wonder, how many more of these
do I have to do before I meet my person?
Or you set a goal at the gym and are lifting weights 30 minutes three times a week, and it's hard.
(08:03):
And you're beginning to wonder how much longer is it going to be hard before
it becomes easier and I see results.
And I think about it now and then with my podcast. I wonder when I will reach
certain milestones as in the program I'm in, and we call them key performance indicators.
And as I'm talking to you, maybe you're thinking about something completely
(08:25):
different that's going on in your life, and you too are wondering how close
you are to whatever it is that you want.
So let's call this unknowing that we're all in the unknown zone.
And when I'm in that unknown zone, one of the feelings or emotions that I feel is uncomfortable.
(08:45):
And I'll bet you feel that way too. You know, and really rather than resisting
the feeling of uncomfortable, let's just really try to understand why we feel
this way. And we've talked about this before.
Remember, your Your lower brain, your human brain, operates from the motivational triad.
Your human brain wants to seek pleasure, be safe, and expend as little effort as possible.
(09:11):
So it makes total sense that you would feel uncomfortable in the unknown, right?
Because your brain is interpreting you being in the unknown zone as you being
unsafe, and also that you're using too much effort to go on the first dates,
or lift the weights, or practicing podcasting skills because there's this unknown about it.
(09:31):
Now, it simply doesn't know how close you are to finding your person.
Your brain doesn't know that.
Or being able to lift the heavier weights, or my KPIs being what I want them to be.
But it still, even though it doesn't know, it just doesn't like it.
Now, those are the juicy aspects of life where the unknown zone lives.
(09:52):
And it's where growth and fun of life lives.
Now, you know this as well. your human brain is really good at looking at your
past to gather evidence to suggest that what you want is not possible.
It's not worth the effort.
The unknown zone is simply too long.
(10:15):
And we've talked about this before. Your past self will have a strong and loud
opinion on what your future will be.
Remember, just because it's loud and opinionated, you don't have to listen, you still have a choice.
You get to choose what you take with you into your future and what you simply
release and leave behind.
(10:36):
So let's play with the unknown zone a bit, okay?
In the unknown zone, I stumbled over that, didn't I?
Your natural human tendency is to see the zone as a negative thing.
How much longer is it going to take? How much longer do I have to feel uncomfortable.
It really kind of, in my head, it really sounds kind of whiny, quite frankly.
(11:00):
But let's flip it on its head. The unknown zone is also one of excitement.
Think about it this way, rather than how much longer is this going to take,
think about it as, I am so close.
I know that if I keep going, I'll get there.
I'm just one more date away from meeting my person.
(11:20):
I'm almost able to pick up that next heavier weight.
And I might think to myself, I am one more episode closer to the KPIs that I'm chasing.
Just one more time showing up. I am so close.
And that sounds anything but whiny. It sounds energizing and exciting.
It's like someone once said, I love this saying, everything is hard until it's not.
(11:46):
And I would add a couple of few others like that. Everything is far away until it's not.
And everything is in the unknown zone. until it's not.
So then rather than whining about how far away something is,
I say let's appreciate how close it is.
Like my friend said in his testimony, we just never know how close we are.
(12:09):
You know, flipping your negative tendencies on its head is one way to enjoy the unknown zone.
Yes, you heard me right. You can enjoy the unknown zone.
You don't have to just grind it out. You can enjoy it. So let's talk about two
more ways that you can enjoy the unknown zone.
And both of these involve one of the two most relationships you will ever have
(12:33):
in your entire life, the one you have with Heavenly Father and the one you have with yourself.
So let's talk about Heavenly Father first and your relationship with Him and
how that relationship can help you enjoy the unknown zone. own.
Now, we know that there are three components that affect your relationship with Heavenly Father.
(12:54):
What you think of Him, what you think He thinks of you, and what you think of yourself.
I find that one of the best ways to understand what He thinks of me is to spend
time with Him by reading the scriptures every single day.
And one place I can see how He loves me is captured in Isaiah Isaiah 43.
(13:18):
And this is what we read.
(13:47):
Fear not for I am with thee. Now to put that into context of the unknown zone
Heavenly Father is telling you he is right there with you.
You will pass through the waters and the rivers and some fire but fear not he is with you.
Sometimes all you know that's all you can do is lean into and onto Heavenly Father's love.
(14:09):
And Nephi was totally in the unknown zone back in 1st Nephi chapter 11 when
he said, I know that he, meaning Heavenly Father, loveth his children.
Nevertheless, I don't know the meaning of all things.
And let's not forget the power of simply praying and conversing with God.
(14:29):
Talk to Him about where you are in the unknown zone.
Let Him know if you're wondering how much longer or asking Him for strength as you keep going.
And what if you are in the unknown zone and you are in a place of knowing you're super close?
Well, then too you can talk to Heavenly Father, express gratitude,
and ask again for continued strength from him to move even closer and closer.
(14:55):
Then you get up, you get to work, and look for the evidence that he's right there with you.
Fear not, he is with thee.
That is a super secret power, to be enjoying the unknown zone.
And the second secret weapon is you.
You are your own second secret weapon. And I want to kind of take a page out
(15:19):
of Nephi's book and kind of paraphrase a little bit what I just read to you
from 1 Nephi 11. Think about it this way.
I don't know how long I'll be in the unknown zone.
Nevertheless, I do know I will have my own back the entire time.
Think about it that way. Heavenly Father has your back.
He's with you. But you need to have your own back and you be with you.
(15:42):
So what does it look like to have your own back? Well, really,
it looks like you're not beating yourself up.
It looks like you loving yourself, being compassionate and caring to yourself.
It looks like you treating yourself with the same love that Christ extends to you.
And you remember that so beautifully captured in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and
(16:04):
again in Moroni 7. You will be with you the entire time you're in the unknown zone.
So I encourage you to treat yourself well while you're in the zone.
Treat yourself with patience and kindness, not comparing yourself to others,
staying in the truth of where you are and loving it right now while you are
(16:29):
where you are. That is joy.
That is when you can enjoy the unknown zone. You love it as it is.
The truth is, all of us are in the unknown zone because we chose to be.
You chose to take steps to find love, so you're going on lots of first dates.
Or you chose to improve your body by lifting weights three times a week.
(16:52):
And I chose to start a podcast and strive to meet certain KPIs.
So you and I, really what we're doing is we're choosing to up-level ourselves
to the next version of ourselves, to see what we're capable of.
That's what we're choosing to do.
And anytime you're moving from where you are to where you want to be,
(17:13):
you will spend some time in the unknown zone.
So consider this. There comes a point when you are in the unknown zone that
you look back to where you were and you can clearly see how far into the zone
that you are so far that it's too far to turn back.
You are so close to what you want that turning back is not even an option.
(17:36):
I like to think of that way.
I like to look back only long enough to see how far I've come and to realize
that for sure I don't want to quit now.
I don't want to quit now and wonder, I wonder how close I was. Now I'll never know.
To me, that's way more uncomfortable than continuing on in the unknown zone.
(17:57):
I invite you to continue on deeper and deeper into the unknown zone,
knowing you are ever so much closer, ever closer each time.
Now you and I have spent the last few minutes realizing that while you are in the unknown zone.
You just don't know how close you are to really getting what you want.
(18:18):
You have been reminded that your natural brain operates from the motivational
triad and how that affects you while you're in the zone.
And I have shared with you secret weapons that will help you have your own back
while you're in the zone, your Heavenly Father and yourself. self.
(18:38):
Both of you love you. Both of you have your own back.
Lastly, I encourage you to press forward through the zone further and further
away from where you were, knowing you don't want to turn back because you are so close.
You, my friend, are so close to getting what you want.
With each strategy, you overcome one more obstacle, one more first date closer
(19:04):
to meeting your person, one more set of weights lifted growing stronger and stronger.
I love you so much and know from experience that the unknown zone is part of
every desire to up-level your life.
You can't avoid it, so you can enjoy it.
And I know that you can do that. You can go through the zone with joy.
(19:27):
I will see you next week. Have a good one. Bye.
Thank you, my gorgeous friend, for spending a slice of your day with me.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
If so, would you take 30 seconds and share it with one of your single girlfriends?
Also, please take a moment to do two things.
(19:48):
Music.
Hello again, gorgeous lady. Are you wondering how many more first dates that
you have to endure before you meet your person?
Or how many more times you have to lift that 10-pound weight at the gym before
you can lift the 15-pound weight?
Isn't it interesting that whatever your goal or desire is, you start out motivated
(00:22):
and stoked to get what you want,
and then the grind sets in, and you begin to wonder how much longer,
how many more dates or lifts or whatever it is before you finally arrive.
And this not knowing is uncomfortable, and it can even seem unfair.
You begin to consider that perhaps it's not even possible, so maybe you should just quit now, right?
(00:46):
Well, if you resonate with any of that, you're in the right place.
Today, we are going to talk about all of the other options that you have besides
quitting while you're in what I call the unknown zone.
So listen in all the way so that you don't miss the three secret weapons that
you have at your disposal right now that will help you while you're in the zone.
(01:09):
So let's jump into our conversation about the unknown zone.
Grab your Diet Coke, put in those earbuds, and let's talk friend to friend.
Do you want to build solid self-confidence and to know your next step is the right one?
Do you find yourself feeling lonely and wondering if God has forgotten you in your singleness?
(01:34):
Hello and welcome to the Single Christian Woman Podcast.
I'm Sharon Lamar, Party of One expert until the age of 52. to.
Remaining single for what felt like a lifetime had me constantly questioning.
Music.
Am I good enough and why had God forgotten me?
(01:55):
It wasn't until I discovered the power coaching had to transform my thinking
and build my relationship with God that my self-confidence skyrocketed and I was happier.
In this podcast, you will find practical strategies, tips, and tools to help
you strengthen two key relationships, the one you have with God and the one you have with yourself.
(02:19):
So grab your Diet Coke, put in those earbuds, and let's chat friend to friend.
Hey friends, how are you today? I am terrific.
It always makes me laugh, but I just did it when podcasters ask,
how you doing? When you know you can't hear an answer back.
But I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I'm hoping that your day is terrific.
(02:42):
When this episode airs, it is May 13th and it's the day after Mother's Day.
And I want to give a quick shout out to the listeners who shared with me how
they are choosing to celebrate their day.
Now, if this is your first time listening to the show, a couple of episodes
ago was all about how challenging Mother's Day can be as a single woman,
(03:04):
and I shared different ways to handle it.
And anyway, I got lots of different messages from ladies about how they're choosing
to spend their Mother's Day.
And one listener shared how she has
a newly divorced friend and they got talking at dinner one night
and decided to celebrate by co-hosting
(03:24):
a brunch together for themselves and for
their children and I think they all they both have children that are like you
know junior high and less so anyway I think that's so fun so they were going
to have brunch together share good food and then they're going to gather around
their children and share a message of the Savior behavior and just enjoy food
(03:44):
and friendship. And I just love that.
I especially love that they're doing that intentionally ahead of time.
They're deciding what their day will be like rather than what it was like.
And you know, that strategy applies to not only holidays, but really your life
in general when you think about it, right?
(04:05):
And so please feel free to continue to share with me how you are intentionally
choosing to spend your Mother's Day.
Okay, so on to today's topic.
Now, sometimes someone says something that really touches my mind,
and it makes me think in a new way, and I love it when that happens.
(04:26):
And this past Sunday, it happened when a friend of ours was sharing his testimony at the pulpit.
And he owns a successful landscape business. And I'm talking the type of landscaping
that's more than just mowing the lawns. I'm talking about like the architectural type landscaping.
The heavy lifting of creating a landscape for his clients that is beautiful,
(04:47):
functional, sustainable.
And part of his work, the way that he landscapes, is removing and planting large grown trees.
I'm not talking about the little saplings that you might get from Lowe's or
the garden store. I'm talking big trees.
At any rate, as you can imagine, in order to plant a large tree,
(05:07):
you have to dig a really large, deep hole.
And to dig such holes safely, you know this if you've done anything in your yard,
you need to call the utility companies ahead of time so that they can come out
and put those little flags and spray paint on your grass about where the utility
lines are or the pipes are so that you don't hit something,
(05:28):
right? Because that's very important.
Anyway, our friend mentioned that how over all of the years that he's done landscaping
and dug holes, he has never hit a pipe or line.
And then he made a comment, and this is the one that made me think.
He said, we just never know how close we were.
And at the same time, he's not hitting a Piper line.
(05:51):
He's recognizing that he could be super close.
He just doesn't know how close he is to hitting the Piper line because he didn't hit it.
Now, as I mulled that over in my head, I began thinking about you,
my friends listening to this podcast, and how you might actually be closer to
hitting on something than you realize.
(06:13):
And hitting on it in a good way. So let me explain.
With some things, it's really easy to know how close you are, right?
Now, I love to read as an example. I'm always reading a book.
In addition to my daily scripture study, I always have some kind of book going on.
And I like the books that you hold. I like to fill the pages,
(06:34):
the paper in my hands, and I like to dog ear them, the pages.
I also always have my trusty red pen in my hand because I'm a person who's marking passages.
I'm making notes. I'm making comments in the book. And then when I start a new
book, I also like to flip clear to the back where you begin to see where the
acknowledgments and references and notes are.
(06:55):
And I kind of like do a little dog ear or put a sticky note on that so that
when I'm reading, I can say to myself, oh, those aren't pages that I'm necessarily
going to need to read as part of the content of the book, but I can refer to them.
So it also helps me know how close I am to the end of the book.
Now, GPS is another way to know how close you are.
(07:15):
It's the time to your destination, right? GPS girl is going to tell us that.
And then there's the timer on your oven. It's going to let you know how close
you are until the roast is done or whatever it is that you have in the oven.
So you see what I mean that sometimes it's easy to know how close you are.
But other aspects are not so clear. And those are the things I want to talk about.
(07:38):
The things that may be closer than you think, and yet how hard it is to know that.
For instance, perhaps you're on a couple of dating apps, and you're going on
lots of first dates, and you're beginning to wonder, how many more of these
do I have to do before I meet my person?
Or you set a goal at the gym and are lifting weights 30 minutes three times a week, and it's hard.
(08:03):
And you're beginning to wonder how much longer is it going to be hard before
it becomes easier and I see results.
And I think about it now and then with my podcast. I wonder when I will reach
certain milestones as in the program I'm in, and we call them key performance indicators.
And as I'm talking to you, maybe you're thinking about something completely
(08:25):
different that's going on in your life, and you too are wondering how close
you are to whatever it is that you want.
So let's call this unknowing that we're all in the unknown zone.
And when I'm in that unknown zone, one of the feelings or emotions that I feel is uncomfortable.
(08:45):
And I'll bet you feel that way too. You know, and really rather than resisting
the feeling of uncomfortable, let's just really try to understand why we feel
this way. And we've talked about this before.
Remember, your Your lower brain, your human brain, operates from the motivational triad.
Your human brain wants to seek pleasure, be safe, and expend as little effort as possible.
(09:11):
So it makes total sense that you would feel uncomfortable in the unknown, right?
Because your brain is interpreting you being in the unknown zone as you being
unsafe, and also that you're using too much effort to go on the first dates,
or lift the weights, or practicing podcasting skills because there's this unknown about it.
(09:31):
Now, it simply doesn't know how close you are to finding your person.
Your brain doesn't know that.
Or being able to lift the heavier weights, or my KPIs being what I want them to be.
But it still, even though it doesn't know, it just doesn't like it.
Now, those are the juicy aspects of life where the unknown zone lives.
(09:52):
And it's where growth and fun of life lives.
Now, you know this as well. your human brain is really good at looking at your
past to gather evidence to suggest that what you want is not possible.
It's not worth the effort.
The unknown zone is simply too long.
(10:15):
And we've talked about this before. Your past self will have a strong and loud
opinion on what your future will be.
Remember, just because it's loud and opinionated, you don't have to listen, you still have a choice.
You get to choose what you take with you into your future and what you simply
release and leave behind.
(10:36):
So let's play with the unknown zone a bit, okay?
In the unknown zone, I stumbled over that, didn't I?
Your natural human tendency is to see the zone as a negative thing.
How much longer is it going to take? How much longer do I have to feel uncomfortable.
It really kind of, in my head, it really sounds kind of whiny, quite frankly.
(11:00):
But let's flip it on its head. The unknown zone is also one of excitement.
Think about it this way, rather than how much longer is this going to take,
think about it as, I am so close.
I know that if I keep going, I'll get there.
I'm just one more date away from meeting my person.
(11:20):
I'm almost able to pick up that next heavier weight.
And I might think to myself, I am one more episode closer to the KPIs that I'm chasing.
Just one more time showing up. I am so close.
And that sounds anything but whiny. It sounds energizing and exciting.
It's like someone once said, I love this saying, everything is hard until it's not.
(11:46):
And I would add a couple of few others like that. Everything is far away until it's not.
And everything is in the unknown zone. until it's not.
So then rather than whining about how far away something is,
I say let's appreciate how close it is.
Like my friend said in his testimony, we just never know how close we are.
(12:09):
You know, flipping your negative tendencies on its head is one way to enjoy the unknown zone.
Yes, you heard me right. You can enjoy the unknown zone.
You don't have to just grind it out. You can enjoy it. So let's talk about two
more ways that you can enjoy the unknown zone.
And both of these involve one of the two most relationships you will ever have
(12:33):
in your entire life, the one you have with Heavenly Father and the one you have with yourself.
So let's talk about Heavenly Father first and your relationship with Him and
how that relationship can help you enjoy the unknown zone. own.
Now, we know that there are three components that affect your relationship with Heavenly Father.
(12:54):
What you think of Him, what you think He thinks of you, and what you think of yourself.
I find that one of the best ways to understand what He thinks of me is to spend
time with Him by reading the scriptures every single day.
And one place I can see how He loves me is captured in Isaiah Isaiah 43.
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And this is what we read.
(13:47):
Fear not for I am with thee. Now to put that into context of the unknown zone
Heavenly Father is telling you he is right there with you.
You will pass through the waters and the rivers and some fire but fear not he is with you.
Sometimes all you know that's all you can do is lean into and onto Heavenly Father's love.
(14:09):
And Nephi was totally in the unknown zone back in 1st Nephi chapter 11 when
he said, I know that he, meaning Heavenly Father, loveth his children.
Nevertheless, I don't know the meaning of all things.
And let's not forget the power of simply praying and conversing with God.
(14:29):
Talk to Him about where you are in the unknown zone.
Let Him know if you're wondering how much longer or asking Him for strength as you keep going.
And what if you are in the unknown zone and you are in a place of knowing you're super close?
Well, then too you can talk to Heavenly Father, express gratitude,
and ask again for continued strength from him to move even closer and closer.
(14:55):
Then you get up, you get to work, and look for the evidence that he's right there with you.
Fear not, he is with thee.
That is a super secret power, to be enjoying the unknown zone.
And the second secret weapon is you.
You are your own second secret weapon. And I want to kind of take a page out
(15:19):
of Nephi's book and kind of paraphrase a little bit what I just read to you
from 1 Nephi 11. Think about it this way.
I don't know how long I'll be in the unknown zone.
Nevertheless, I do know I will have my own back the entire time.
Think about it that way. Heavenly Father has your back.
He's with you. But you need to have your own back and you be with you.
(15:42):
So what does it look like to have your own back? Well, really,
it looks like you're not beating yourself up.
It looks like you loving yourself, being compassionate and caring to yourself.
It looks like you treating yourself with the same love that Christ extends to you.
And you remember that so beautifully captured in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and
(16:04):
again in Moroni 7. You will be with you the entire time you're in the unknown zone.
So I encourage you to treat yourself well while you're in the zone.
Treat yourself with patience and kindness, not comparing yourself to others,
staying in the truth of where you are and loving it right now while you are
(16:29):
where you are. That is joy.
That is when you can enjoy the unknown zone. You love it as it is.
The truth is, all of us are in the unknown zone because we chose to be.
You chose to take steps to find love, so you're going on lots of first dates.
Or you chose to improve your body by lifting weights three times a week.
(16:52):
And I chose to start a podcast and strive to meet certain KPIs.
So you and I, really what we're doing is we're choosing to up-level ourselves
to the next version of ourselves, to see what we're capable of.
That's what we're choosing to do.
And anytime you're moving from where you are to where you want to be,
(17:13):
you will spend some time in the unknown zone.
So consider this. There comes a point when you are in the unknown zone that
you look back to where you were and you can clearly see how far into the zone
that you are so far that it's too far to turn back.
You are so close to what you want that turning back is not even an option.
(17:36):
I like to think of that way.
I like to look back only long enough to see how far I've come and to realize
that for sure I don't want to quit now.
I don't want to quit now and wonder, I wonder how close I was. Now I'll never know.
To me, that's way more uncomfortable than continuing on in the unknown zone.
(17:57):
I invite you to continue on deeper and deeper into the unknown zone,
knowing you are ever so much closer, ever closer each time.
Now you and I have spent the last few minutes realizing that while you are in the unknown zone.
You just don't know how close you are to really getting what you want.
(18:18):
You have been reminded that your natural brain operates from the motivational
triad and how that affects you while you're in the zone.
And I have shared with you secret weapons that will help you have your own back
while you're in the zone, your Heavenly Father and yourself. self.
(18:38):
Both of you love you. Both of you have your own back.
Lastly, I encourage you to press forward through the zone further and further
away from where you were, knowing you don't want to turn back because you are so close.
You, my friend, are so close to getting what you want.
With each strategy, you overcome one more obstacle, one more first date closer
(19:04):
to meeting your person, one more set of weights lifted growing stronger and stronger.
I love you so much and know from experience that the unknown zone is part of
every desire to up-level your life.
You can't avoid it, so you can enjoy it.
And I know that you can do that. You can go through the zone with joy.
(19:27):
I will see you next week. Have a good one. Bye.
Thank you, my gorgeous friend, for spending a slice of your day with me.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
If so, would you take 30 seconds and share it with one of your single girlfriends?
Also, please take a moment to do two things.
(19:48):
Music.
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