Stop Punishing Yourself

You guys.

It feels like summer started yesterday for me.

My husband and I had a picnic by the lake.

I got to read in the sun, visit a brewery rooftop, play in the sprinkler with my pup.

We had a fire in the backyard in the evening.

I was fascinated by all the bugs and blossoms and sunburns.

It feels like my very first summer after an 800 year winter.

(I know it’s...

Emotional Childhood is just a fancy term for chronic blame.

Emotional Adulthood is a just a fancy term for habituated responsibility.

In emotional childhood we blame all of our problems, emotions, life circumstances, and limits on the external world (including other humans).

In emotional adulthood we take full responsibility for everything in our life—yes—even the things that our toddler brain would co...

Ever notice how respect is oftentimes confused with fear?

We weren’t really taught to respect adults growing up…

We were taught to fear them.

To obey blindly, to conform swiftly, to fall in line or be punished!

Subtly but surely over time, kids learn that giving and receiving respect looks and feels a lot like being afraid.

This creates adults who are partly afraid of their intimate ...

Here’s a wild concept I want you to consider.

The universe, God, whatever life force you believe to be in charge of things.. is not out here dividing and distributing some portions to the deserving folk, while withholding other portions from the undeserving folk.

Portions could mean anything. Portions of money, portions of joy, portions of success, appreciation, love—you name it.

That’s not how this lov...

I could have been the poster child for neurodivergence if it was researched as equally in girls as it was in boys back in the 90s.

Alas, it was missed, I was masked, and I wouldn’t fully discover the nooks and crannies of my brain’s MO until 30 years old.

The statistics on neurodivergence diagnosis TODAY (1 in 36 people) versus 10, 20 years ago (1 in 150 people) is staggering.

And those numbers are pro...

The most powerful exercise?

No not physical exercise!

You’ll have to ask someone else for that information.

I mean, the most powerful LIFE COACHING exercise.

If you haven’t already guessed, it’s an EMOTIONAL exercise.

On today’s newest episode, that’s what I’m delivering.

So grab a pen and paper (or let’s be real, your notes app) and get ready to jot down the 2 questions I ...

On today’s podcast episode I am inviting ALL of my listeners to join me on zoom tonight for the Compare & Despair Cycle Workshop!

There will be massive revelations happening about this ol’ pattern we humans like to call compare and despair.

Some homework WILL be assigned at the end of the call.

If you come live, you will have the opportunity to get coached ON THE CALL.

FOR FREE.

You are not wrong.

Your existence is not wrong.

Nothing has gone wrong.

You are not wrong.

Your existence has never been wrong.

Nothing about you is wrong.

You are not wrong.

Nothing has gone wrong here.

You are exactly where you are meant to be.

You are not wrong.

You are worthy in your own right.

You deserve to take up the...

I'm going to make an audacious claim here.

You are more afraid of your feelings than you even realize.

I'm not saying that to try to judge or shame you.

I'm saying that to bring awareness to something that is impacting your life in a monumental (& probably catastrophic) way.

Our feelings are NOT some collection of soft, unimportant, remedial inconveniences.

They i...

This episode should probably be titled: "Trying to Hide From Shame" but I didn't think of that until after it was recorded.

Last night at work I was met face to face with what I had been THINKING was the worst that could happen.

The experience brought me into tons of powerful awareness and offered me some perspective shifts and it's just too juicy to keep to myself.

I have to start f...

To our ego, being naive is equivalent to being the sacrificial lamb about to be tossed into the flames.

It’s dangerous, frightening, and intolerable.

Our ego would much prefer that we already know everything—and be good at it—simply to create a sense of certainty, because that feels like safety to our primitive brain.

I want to offer that the ego has this completely backwards.

When we are unwi...

Say it with me!

"Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean it's true!!"

Here's what we all need to do.

We all need to get a divorce from our thoughts.

Right now, our toxic marriage to our thoughts is creating so much unnecessary suffering it makes my brain go OUCH.

We believe every last thing our brain thinks, even when it's extremely abusive to ours...

Have you ever gone to a doctors or a dentist appointment and expected to receive horrifying news about your body or your gums or your boobs?

I have. Many times.

Every time I go into a medical setting my body tenses up incredibly tight and braces for a destructive impact.

(Thanks survival brain)

However, what actually ends up happening is the practitioner in front of me remains calm, certain, a...

If you were sharing something personal and then someone said, "so what?" in response to it, would you be offended?

If you asked me this question pre 2017, (and if I had answered honestly) I would have said absolutely YES!

My sensitive self was so tender to even the slightest hint of disapproval from ANYONE.

And I 100% would have interpreted this neutral question as the cause of some deep woun...

What is really standing in the way of you and everything you want?

It's not an uphill-100 year battle filled with sacrifice and blood oaths.

It's not all the circumstances and people outside of you finally bending to your will.

It's not hardship or stress or less time with your loved ones.

It's one thing.

Thought errors.

That is ALL that's in betwe...

How often are you told to be UNrealistic?

Not often.

Most advisors/mentors/parents will say: “Be reasonable! Be practical! Don’t ask for too much! Play it safe!”

This is what we’re taught.

This is what we’re told is “right.”

But I think it’s terribly wrong.

BECAUSE it’s always a lose-lose situation.

We think the trade off to being practical and realistic is eternal...

When I was in kindergarten I got in trouble for telling a non-christian girl she would go to hell if she didn't accept Jesus into her heart.

If I had gone to a christian school I probably would have been praised and gotten extra credit for evangelizing the fuck out of my classroom. 

Alas, I did not. Public school it was.

So this behavior wasn't "in line" or acceptable.

(wh...

Welcome to a special episode of the podcast. 
You are officially invited to join me for Identity Week!

Identity Week is a FREE 5 day intensive training on locating and eliminating the limiting identities that have been holding you back. I walk you through a simple and value packed process that will help you transform the way you see yourself, reconnect you with your power and awareness, and shatter those limiting ident...

Most of us have no problem envisioning our own demise.

We can picture horrifying images in our head of everything that could go wrong, all day long.

All the fears, stress, and doubts are easily accessible.

This type of envisioning is natural to our primitive brains.

It’s what helped us survive some dodgy ass times.

BUT…

if we really took a step back….

we would SEE