April 9, 2024 • 29 mins
Amy & Kat talk: Divorce Rings (Amy's trying to decide what to do with her wedding ring) + a New Nightly Ritual that will calm your worries (and it's good for your kids too) + hormones + Testosterone Cream Update + disordered eating + Dyslexia + Sometimes the thing that’s “wrong” with you is totally normal + Snail Serum (yes, Amy still uses it...there's a discount code below!) + Happy Couples Post Less on Social Media + listener emails (from Cynthia & Michelle) + a voicemail from Johnny Lasagna!
Today's quote: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
—Zig Ziglar (American author & motivational speaker)
CLICK HERE FOR AMY'S SNAIL SERUM (and don't forget to use the code 'HAPPY' for a discount!)
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast. I'm Amy and I'm Kat
and today's quote is from zig Ziggler. People often say
that motivation doesn't last well, neither does bathing. That's why
we recommend it daily.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
That was good. Who's zig Ziggler?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Why don't an author motivational speaker? I know that we
quoted him in our Four Things Gratitude journal once as well.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
That's a good quote.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
In addition to the quote, I want to start off
with a question of what you think I should do
with my wedding ring.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You're asking me that.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, the way you said that, I'm going to start
out with a question about what you should but you
think I should do?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
First? Are just saying what do you think I should do?
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Well?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I talked about it like a week and a half
ago on Instagram, and I got other people's feedback what
they thought I should do after a divorce. And I
just looked down at my hand and it reminded me
because I'm wearing my mom's wedding band. Yeah, and you
know my parents got divorced forever ago. My mom kept
her wedding ring the entire time, and then when she
passed away, I kept the band, and my sister we
(01:11):
had the diamond removed and she got the diamond, and
then I kept the little pinky ring my mom wore
with that, And I have my engagement ring and my
wedding bands from my marriage and coming up this summer,
all been divorced a year, and I just really don't
know what I'm supposed to do with it.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Well, what is your gut telling you that you want
to do with it? Well, here's what people recommended. I
could sell it.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I could make a necklace out of it, or I
could save it as is and give it to my kids,
like maybe if my daughter would have won it one day,
or my son would want it to propose or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I was going to say, is it the fact that
you want to transform it into something else in like
a metaphorical way, or do you want to get something
else out of it in a metaphorical way, or you
don't care about it and it no longer holds meaning,
or do you want to be able to pass that down? Yeah,
I'm pretty just neutral. Oh, well, do you feel like
(02:06):
you need to decide?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't want to sell it and regret selling it
knowing that I could have kept it. So maybe we'll
just remove off the table. But I feel like sometimes,
you know, it's like, oh, I guess I could and
that would be nice because just sitting there and maybe
I could buy something else that I would want to wear.
But then that feels weird and shady. I think that
if we had broken up on really really bad terms
(02:30):
and selling it would feel okay, But because we didn't,
that feels a little weird.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I kind of like the idea of saving it and
then if you wanted to give it to your kids
later and then they could decide like that might mean
something really special to them.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Or I guess, like my mom when I passed away,
they get to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, or we had to do.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Patrick's mom gave him an old engagement ring and he
decided to use it to buy one for me versus
just give me the diamonds or that setting or whatever.
But I like the fact that she gave it to
him to let him decide what to do with it.
It wasn't his dad, but I think that could be
cool later in life. If you're passing that down, then
(03:12):
they can decide, oh, this is meaningful because this was
my parent's wedding band.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Or I mean the marrid failed.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But yeah, but I think that that is different from
a kid's perspective. If that was my parents, I might
still want that, maybe not as my engagement ring, but
I could still want that as some piece of something.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, I just wanted to get your opinion on it,
since you were of sound mind.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah. My only suggestion is do not do anything with
it right now.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Okay, I'm going to keep it in my jewelry box.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Does it bother you to see it all the time?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
No, I don't really open my jewelry box much. Okay,
Like I have the jewelry that I wear on the daily,
I just kind of keep out. But it's tucked away. Yes,
it's locked away.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
And it's safe underground. It's very miles away. It's hard
to get to it. I don't even think about coming
here for it. Speaking of kids, I saw this thing.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
It's three nighttime questions that we should ask our kids
every night before bedtime. But I thought that they are
good for adults too, so I thought I would go
over it because it's stuff that you could keep in
your back pocket to talk to your kids about Here
you go three nighttime questions for kids, and then I'm
adding in parentheses and for adults too, What's one thing
that went well today, What's one thing that was difficult today?
(04:27):
What's one thing that you want me to know about today?
And then also as I was reading those, I was thinking,
you could ask yourself these questions if you don't have
a partner, like I could use these as journal prompts
and journal to myself at night and make sure I
go over one thing that went well, one thing that
was difficult, and one thing that maybe I want to
(04:49):
remember about this day, or that I want to remind
myself about this day.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Or one thing I want to share with somebody.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, do you think you and Big P would ever
do nighttime question time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would love to do something like that.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I think he would do it to a peace me,
like when I pull out the concrete conversations, He's like,
all right, here we go.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The source of this I saw it on online, is
from the Kids Clinic. And what this does for our
kids is it calms their worries and strengthens our connection
with them. So I would say similarly, it could do
the same thing for us as adults.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah, if the child does not want to answer those questions.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Oh, I guess you don't have to. But honestly, whenever
I've asked my kids more specific type questions, they tend
to give an answer. And if they're like, oh, I
don't have an answer right now, then I just sort
of move on.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
What if it's like, what's one thing you want me
to know and they're like, well, you're annoying me right now?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
WHOA, okay do it?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh wow, that's really good to know. Thank you for
sharing that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, oh, you're saying that's how you respond. I was like,
I'm not telling you that you're annoying me, but I'm just.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Thinking, like my mom.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I guess it's at night, but like I remember like
conversations after school or whatever, and I'm just like, oh
my gosh, I don't want to talk to you mom.
One thing that I might want her to know is
that I don't want her to talk to her, and
then she just respects and moves on.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I saw this whole thing about how talking to your
mom raises your oxytocin, okay, which is your love hormone?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right yep.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
It says they did a study with a group of
teenage girls, half of them talk to their moms on
the phone, and half of them texted with their moms. Afterward,
the researchers tested their hormone levels. If the girl heard
her mom's voice, the girl's level of oxytocin, the love
hormone increased, lifting her mood, and the level of cortisol
stress hormone decreased. Texting with their mom had the opposite effect.
(06:31):
It increased cortisol and did not release oxytocin.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What I see from this, like, my mom's not alive,
but my daughter obviously, is that maybe sometimes instead of
texting her, especially on the weeks that she's at her dad's, Yeah,
maybe I call her so she can hear my voice.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, and then she can tell you. Except for she's
really sixteen.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Al was seventeen and definitely very annoyed with me, so
she's like, I don't want to talk to you. Also,
I'm not her biological mom, so the study might I
afferentiate that.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
But that was teenage girls, wasn't it. That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
The last person I wanted to talk to on the
phone as a teenager, I think was my mom. But
at the same time, your mom, also as a teenager,
is oftentimes the person for me I can speak for myself,
the person that something was really wrong, I would go
to her.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I just didn't always.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Want to tell her like about my day to day
because out of my beeswax.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
But I think as parents, like if we can ask
those questions over and over and then one day we
might be surprised and they give us more information. I
think they're paying attention to that, though. I think I'd
rather ask and know that I might be met with like, oh,
I'm not going to answer that, or you're annoying, than
like just avoid it and never ask, because I fear
that they.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Don't want to reject me one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Which speaking of hormones being released, I've started my testosterone cream.
I think I was telling you about that, and I've
been increasing my protein and I'm taking my supplements because
I'm trying to figure out how to be more normal
through menopause or regular Harry, Harry, Okay, sorry, Perry.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Menopause.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
There's there's pre menopause, there's peri menopause, there's menopause. What's Perry,
I think it's before pre oh oh, Wow, don't ask
me hard questions.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
So then am I in peri menopause? I don't know.
Are we all before premenopause?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah? I don't really know how to tell the difference
between the two, but I will say that about a
million people have recommended this one person on Instagram for
me to follow, and I started following her, and she
is the expert. So if you've got questions like that,
hard ones like what's pre and perry and what's happening,
refer to this person. I'm going to read an email
from Cynthia because she's one of the people that recommended
(08:37):
this account to me. She said, Hey, Amy, I heard
you talking about menopause. You said something about your obgyn
telling you to get used to all the changes because
that's what happens in your forties and fifties. I follow
an obgyn on YouTube that specializes in menopause. She's from
Texas and has a book called the Galveston Diet. It's
not really a diet, it's just what we need to
(08:58):
be eating we're going through all of these changes anyway.
Her name is doctor Mary Claire Haver, and she has
changed my life. She's taught me so many things. The
most important thing she taught me was how to speak
to my obgyn and advocate for myself about things like
hormone replacement therapy. And she also has all the studies
and statistics on why it can be a safe option
(09:20):
for women. I no longer have brain fog, joint pain,
or feel like I'm going crazy. So yeah, you can
follow on YouTube. You can follow on Instagram like I
already have been. She has so many great things. She
recently did an episode with Everybody Get Ready to take
a shot. She recently did an episode with Everybody get
(09:51):
Ready to take a Shot? Who is a cat?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Mel Robins?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Mel Robins, that's right. I haven't listened to the Mel
episode yet. I've just seen different clips from it, but
I have a on my list. I just finished up
Tony Robbins on Theobond's podcast, and that was a two
hour episode. It took me a while to get through,
especially you know, because you are you a Tony Robbins fan.
Something was wrong podcast. I don't mind him.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You don't like him.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
He's somebody that I don't know enough about to not like,
but age flag don't know that I would be attracted
to his way of doing things well.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I love Theobon. He's hilarious, so I think I appreciate
some of what Tony Robins puts out there. I've never
been to one of his seminars and I don't follow him,
but I appreciated Theo's conversation with him, and THEO cracks
me up. And I think that Tony has a lot
of good nuggets of wisdom that are good to take in.
(10:44):
At least that's what I got from that episode. And
I guess he recently put out a financial book of sorts.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm sorry I can't, but.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I say that because that's why he was on Theo's
podcast promoting his book. But he had a lot of
really interesting things to say to the theater.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, I will say I've never listened to anything. Sorry,
if you're listening to THEO, I've never listened to anything
he's done. I've seen a video on Instagram from his podcast,
but I haven't actually listened to it. But I also
am just and you know this about me, I'm skeptical
of not Theovon, I'm skeptical of most types of people,
(11:20):
like Tony Robbins. I'm even a little skeptical about this
menopause person.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
She's a doctor, I know, but I also just like
the diet part gives me like a red flag.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I will say, because I've heard her talking about it.
It's literally foods that are going to support these hormonal
changes and like how there's so much going on and
like these are foods that are going to help the
process and making sure, Like speaking of protein, you need
a lot more as you age. And I get where
(11:54):
you're coming from because I haven't wanted to track certain things,
especially in my recovery, because I used to be ocd
about tracking every single thing that I ate and making
sure and I would use my fitness power or whatever,
and that was sort of the last thing I was
clinging to before I went into what I called more
of a full recovery. And I remember having anxiety about
(12:14):
deleting my fitness Pal because I was like, well, yeah,
how much issed to know what I consumed all day?
But I knew I was consuming enough. But anyway, fast
Forward ended up deleting it, and it was great. But
I could see myself at this stage in my life
and where I am and wanting to know more about
my body and what is happening, wanting to now track
it so that I am aware of actually how much
(12:37):
protein I've had because it is imperative. Especially what I
realized with my low tea is I've been losing muscle
the last year like crazy. So now that I've got
my cream, hopefully that will help me retain muscle, so
that if I'm eating protein, I can actually have that,
which is good for all kinds of bone health and
function of my body. I haven't read the book, read
(12:59):
the diet or anything, but what I have gathered already
in this short time that I've followed her is it's
based on the science and the research of like these
are the types of foods that you're going to need
to hopefully feel your best during this phase of life.
What are your thoughts on.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That I've heard this diet multiple times.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I haven't looked into it, but I am all for
us being aware and having agency and promoting our health
and our well being.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
And we also have to be careful that we.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Are not becoming too immersed in it, because that's when
disordered eating starts that then can turn into more eating
disorders because we get obsessed with To me, it borders
though like Is this the road to the orthorex Yet
it doesn't mean it is, but that's how we walk
into that.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
We're usually wanting to do something.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And Lisa Haym did post something about this that inspired
my episode that I did about comfort around wellness culture
being obsessed with feeling good all the time, and part
of the process of moving through life is sometimes you
don't feel your best, but there's always people out there
that are promoting some kind of solution to all of
these things that sometimes are normal parts of life. So
(14:09):
I would never want to send the message to somebody
that like, well, that's life.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
You just have to suffer.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And I also want people to be able to sit
through like the hard parts of your body changing and
that's just like what happens versus there's something wrong with you,
and you need to be doing all of this and
you need to cut this part out and you need
to do da da da da da, because that's where
I think it gets really muddy. And we start picking
up behaviors that then can be added to another behavior,
(14:35):
and then those behaviors become best friends. And then all
of a sudden, we're sitting here being like, well, I
can only eat chicken and chickpeas for the rest of
my life, and I'm not allowed to run ever again
because I should be doing this type of workout. I
just see a lot of that, and I see a
huge rise in people being obsessed with hormones and cycles,
and I just.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Recall you talking yeah about that and getting yes. Very
I'm just going to sum it up. It's a little
worked up about it online because we did talk about that,
So I see your point, and I don't know if
this falls in that category. And again I haven't read
the book, but I have appreciated her information, and I
will say what my doctor was saying about some of
the changes. She gave me comfort in knowing. She was like, Hey,
(15:18):
I just want you to know that a lot of
what you're going through is very normal. So to your point,
she's like, you're feeling like what is going on? I
feel and she's like, actually, what's going on with you
right now is exactly what's supposed to be going on,
Like this is what happens now. There are things we
can do. And that's when she was talking about different
other things she could insert inside of me, and I'm like, eh,
(15:40):
I don't want that. I don't want that. But then
when I got my blood tested and it said the
low tee, like, I'm starting there, and I do think
I need some progesterone at some point, but I want
to just start with the testosterone so I could see.
I wanted to be able to journal through each thing
and what I'm feeling and if I feel a difference,
because brain fog was one of the number one things
(16:01):
that she said would help me if I got my
testosterone in check, and then also being able to retain
my muscle. And I appreciate your insight on that, because yeah,
I wouldn't want to promote anything that may put people
into a situation like I know I got into in
twenty and ten when I was trying to get pregnant
and I read this one book and then it led
(16:23):
to this vegan lifestyle, which led to now I can
only eat this certain list of things, and I'm thankful
to not be in that place anymore. And I can
approach things from a mindset of wanting to just ultimately
feel my best, but I also can recognize other people
maybe more vulnerable and in a situation like I was
in in two thousand and ten through twenty thirteen where
(16:45):
I really got obsessed with that, and that's probably when
the orthorexia got bad, and I didn't even think that
that was a thing. Nobody taught. It wasn't a thing
back then. And then later, probably four or five years ago,
I was like, oh, that was me, that I was orthorexic,
and I was zero fun to be around. So thank
you for that perspective. We can do a quick pivot
(17:07):
to snail serum. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I'm not try.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
I posted about that the same day that I put
up the wedding ring, and so many people were like, wait,
what you still do the snail stuff, and yeah, I
just hadn't posted about it in a while. But I
will say there's a code that still works if you're
wanting to try it out, and it's Happy and that'll
give you a discount, And it's in my highlight reel
on Instagram. If you go to at Radio Amy, you
can see all about the snail stuff there and see
(17:36):
how I do it and whatnot. But it's just biopel
dot com. I can link it in the show notes.
But the code Happy, we'll get you the discount, and
I definitely still use it. I'm now using all biopel everything,
the face wash, and they've come out with a retinol
and I've switched from.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Zo and I was a ZO fan forever.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I saw this whole thing about posting on social media
and your relationship, and it said that happy couples are
less likely to post their partners on social media, and
those who post more frequently they feel insecure about their relationships.
So I didn't know how you feel about your posting
with big p.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I feel like I post them all the time.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What's that saying?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I will say a while ago, when I was with
a certain therapist. I don't work with her anymore, but
I process with her. How when I am content with
my life, I find myself on Instagram and posting less
and I'm sharing less. And when I'm less content, I'm
posting more. And that's why I have such a weird
(18:47):
relationship with Instagram right now still, because I want to
be active on there because it helps my business in general,
and there are parts of it that I really like,
connecting with people that I maybe don't know personally. And
at the same time, I know sometimes when I'm doing
that it's because I'm bored or sad or missing something
(19:10):
or lacking something. So I have to very much monitor
why am I doing this. I don't necessarily think we
can say that person posts their boyfriend a lot, they
must not love them, or that must not be happy,
and that person doesn't so they must have a good relationship.
But I do think that there's probably a strong correlation.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It says here the desire and decision to make a
relationship visible to others can reflect people's fears or aspirations
for closeness with their romantic partners, with avoidant individuals preventing
relationship visibility, and anxious individuals yearning for it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I relate to that there is a relationship I was
in years ago. I don't know that he ever posted
me to his actual Instagram story.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
He posted a lot, he was very active.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
I was on a story twice I think in a year,
and it was a big deal when he put them
on there, and he put me on his business I
was on his business account a couple times because I
was wearing whatever his business was selling, but he not
one time posted me to his actual feed, and I
remember that being a point of contention, and you better
(20:15):
believe I was posting him all the time, but now
I feel very differently where Patrick hasn't posted anything of me,
I think since my birthday in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
No, your wedding, I posted it, he did? He did.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I could have no he did it, or I saw
him reposting people though.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Oh reposting on a story, but his feed, he hasn't
posted any since twenty twenty two, and he has.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Posts on there, but they're because I collapse.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I did the collaboration thing, so I posted it and
then added him to it. But that doesn't bother me
because there are so many other ways that he is
very president and shows up for me. Although I did
get in a fight with him recently because he didn't
think that my adult bunny costume that I got for
Easter was as funny as.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I thought it was. He didn't give me the response
that I wanted.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But there's like something for y'all's private.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Time where you wear this.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
No I On Easter Sunday, he was like doing the
dishes and I was like, oh, this is perfect time
to bring out my buddy suit.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
He's an adult costume. It wasn't like an adult costume.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Makes it sound like I got it at like a like.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
A knotty nurse. No, it was not a naughty buddy.
It was a large bunny suit with the head. But
he just thought it. He was like, what are you doing?
That's weird? Are you gonna wear that to our family's house?
And I was like, yes, I thought you would think
this was funny. Anyway.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I did not then need him to post me on
Instagram after that, because there are so many other ways
that he is present and shows up for me and
I feel secure. But if there was that contention, I
think social media shows up as a way to get
some kind of validation that like, he might not be
doing X y Z, but at least he posted me
like that means something. I would rather have the behind
(21:59):
the scenes stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, I have a social media boundaries list for your
relationship that I can run over in case people like it.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And is that from that article?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, this is from the Arkansas Relationship Counseling Center. Be
with your spouse more than your social media Respect your
partner's privacy. Ask yourself why you want to share something.
When you're sharing it, don't type what you don't want
your spouse to see. Agree about sharing passwords or accounts
(22:30):
do you and Big P know each other's uh passwords?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, I almost just said it, Yes, I do, and
he knows mine. But we know that because like if
I have his phone and I need to take a
picture or do something. I don't know that I've ever
read anything of his without him like showing it to me.
Maybe he's done that to me. I don't know that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That to him. That feels weird to me.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It feels icky to go in there and read something
without knowing. Yeah, I would say, you only need to
do it if you want to, and if you do,
come over here, we'll it together. I've got a voicemail
from Johnny Lasagna. He's just saying hello, and I'm just
I had some other voicemails going to go through, but
we'll just save them and we'll play this one to
remind people that we do have a voicemail line. You
(23:13):
can call us eight seven seven two O seven two
O seven seven.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Well, hello there, Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
This is Johnny Lasagna, just testing out your voicemail line.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
So hey there, talk.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
To you soon. And then you can also email us
four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com if
you've got a question for me. Or Kat call and
ask it, leave it on the voicemail line, or email
it and put it in the subject line. We got
a real nice note from Michelle. I'll end with this, Hey,
I feel compelled to say that your openness has helped me. Dang,
(23:45):
all the things I relate to amazes me. I had
an eating disorder in high school and I had treatment
for that and therapy. Thank goodness, I'm so blessed that
that happened. I have ADHD and dyslexia most likely which
side note this is me here. I had the dyslexia expert.
She's an interventionist. She came on my podcast recently and
(24:08):
I shared a little bit more of my story because
I had further testing with her to kind of nail
down where I was on the spectrum. And sometimes I thought, oh,
I thought that was my ADHD, and she said they
do often run hand in hand, Like if you got ADHD,
you'll more likely have some of this. I want to
bring people comfort, which I hope that that is the case,
but I also don't want you to think just because you.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Have one thing that like you have the other.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
But this email for Michelle, she's thankful because we talked
about it on the Bobby Bone Show. When I got
the test and when I found out about it, I cried,
And so she's referring to in the email here just now,
She's like, when you cried on the show, I cried
with you. I understand not feeling smart and trying so hard.
We are smart today. I listened to the podcast and
took away so much useful information. I wanted to attach
(24:54):
a text that I had with my best friend. She
is a psychological examiner for a school. She's the best.
I believe she would tell you exactly what she said
to me, having this issue has many strengths. Thanks for
being vulnerable, your friend Michelle from Missouri, and she attached
a screenshot of her text with her friend, and her
friend was encouraging her and being like, I see so
(25:15):
many things that you're good at. You have so many strengths,
and that's what I want anybody to know. Like, if
you've ever felt less than or if you've ever felt
like something was wrong with you, maybe because you were
given that narrative as a child. We need not believe that,
we need not, we need not believe that. No longer
(25:37):
dismitheth that thought is Where did that come from? I
don't know why I start. I just wanted to declare. Okay,
it feels like to declare, I do declare, I do
declare if it just sounds more official when you add
the to the end of everything.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
If right? What language is that?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Or is that just like a fancy way of talking?
It is like are we talking slang and that's the
right way to talk?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Is it from the eighteen hundred?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I don't know. But shout out to the Gilded Age?
I love that show. It's on HBO Max. Do you
watch it? No? Okay? Well, Rachel who was recently a
guest in my podcast, she's the one that told me
that season two was back because I had no idea,
And ever since she was on a few weeks ago,
I've slowly been working my way through the Gilded Age
and I love it. So you should go back and
(26:28):
watch season one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Is it like a new show? Is it a show's
being made now?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I mean season two just came out. It just came
out ish. I mean it was a little late to
it because I had no idea it came. I think
season two came out maybe late late last year. But
it's on Max and it's about I need a new show,
like New York Society back in the day, like debutants,
even like what's crazy is new money? Back then, the
old money didn't even want to welcome the new money.
(26:55):
Like new people were coming to town and they had
so much money. They were the wealthies who in town.
But the old money is like, it's like your new
money is not worth his our family name.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
We are here.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
We are members at this opry house like or Opera
probably said the opry because we're in Nashville, the Grand
O Opry, but you know, we are part of this establishment.
It reminded me of kind of how my high school was,
Like I went to high school with a lot of
people with old money, and our high school was very diverse,
(27:26):
but it was in downtown Austin, which West Austin was
a part of town where there was a lot of
old money and I came from a different part of town.
But regardless, some of my other friends that lived in
West Austin that were newer money, they weren't as welcome
like I was.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
So it was really bizarre.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I'm like, and this was the late nineties, so it
was happening back in the late eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
That still happens.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, yeah, yeah, correct, it still happens now. And one
of my boyfriends in college, like I swear to you,
his family was not into me because I wasn't a deputy,
which was bizarre to me.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
But I get it now.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Watching those types of shows, you just realize.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
How society and culture.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yeah, in the family, it's just ingrained and you're expected
to marry this type of person and it's what you
grow up seeing and it's what you're around. So it's
obviously until somebody breaks the mold, that's what you're used to.
Were you welcomed into Patrick's family.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I think that we are on the same page of
neither of us are old money.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Or new money. You weren't a debutante, No, no, actually
I was. We had was in a debutante.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
But our high school had this thing called Franklin Girls Katilion,
and it was like a high school storty, and they
did like a presentation where you wear white dress when
you're junior, in a black dress when you're senior. But
it was more like a clique thing in high school
versus like a status symbol in society.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, I agree, we had a little bit of that.
I almost wanted to tell you all my college wofriend
speaking at Katilion. I'm like, well, all right, I did
Katilion in fifth grade?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Is that do you like learn how to like sit
in a chair and.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
What for and how to like do the box step
wear white gloves?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
And yeah I didn't do that. Yeah, well you're cooler
than me. Yeah, cooler.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, all right, hope y'all are having the day that
you need to have. Don't forget call us, email us.
Check out Kat's podcast You Need Therapy. She's at Cat
dot Defada on Instagram, and she is at Uni Therapy podcast.
And I am at Radio Amy and we will Well,
I'll see you on Thursday for four things, but Cat
and I will see you next Tuesday for the fifth thing.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Bye bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast. I'm Amy and I'm Kat
and today's quote is from zig Ziggler. People often say
that motivation doesn't last well, neither does bathing. That's why
we recommend it daily.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
That was good. Who's zig Ziggler?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Why don't an author motivational speaker? I know that we
quoted him in our Four Things Gratitude journal once as well.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
That's a good quote.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
In addition to the quote, I want to start off
with a question of what you think I should do
with my wedding ring.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You're asking me that.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, the way you said that, I'm going to start
out with a question about what you should but you
think I should do?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
First? Are just saying what do you think I should do?
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Well?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I talked about it like a week and a half
ago on Instagram, and I got other people's feedback what
they thought I should do after a divorce. And I
just looked down at my hand and it reminded me
because I'm wearing my mom's wedding band. Yeah, and you
know my parents got divorced forever ago. My mom kept
her wedding ring the entire time, and then when she
passed away, I kept the band, and my sister we
(01:11):
had the diamond removed and she got the diamond, and
then I kept the little pinky ring my mom wore
with that, And I have my engagement ring and my
wedding bands from my marriage and coming up this summer,
all been divorced a year, and I just really don't
know what I'm supposed to do with it.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Well, what is your gut telling you that you want
to do with it? Well, here's what people recommended. I
could sell it.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I could make a necklace out of it, or I
could save it as is and give it to my kids,
like maybe if my daughter would have won it one day,
or my son would want it to propose or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I was going to say, is it the fact that
you want to transform it into something else in like
a metaphorical way, or do you want to get something
else out of it in a metaphorical way, or you
don't care about it and it no longer holds meaning,
or do you want to be able to pass that down? Yeah,
I'm pretty just neutral. Oh, well, do you feel like
(02:06):
you need to decide?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't want to sell it and regret selling it
knowing that I could have kept it. So maybe we'll
just remove off the table. But I feel like sometimes,
you know, it's like, oh, I guess I could and
that would be nice because just sitting there and maybe
I could buy something else that I would want to wear.
But then that feels weird and shady. I think that
if we had broken up on really really bad terms
(02:30):
and selling it would feel okay, But because we didn't,
that feels a little weird.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I kind of like the idea of saving it and
then if you wanted to give it to your kids
later and then they could decide like that might mean
something really special to them.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Or I guess, like my mom when I passed away,
they get to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, or we had to do.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Patrick's mom gave him an old engagement ring and he
decided to use it to buy one for me versus
just give me the diamonds or that setting or whatever.
But I like the fact that she gave it to
him to let him decide what to do with it.
It wasn't his dad, but I think that could be
cool later in life. If you're passing that down, then
(03:12):
they can decide, oh, this is meaningful because this was
my parent's wedding band.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Or I mean the marrid failed.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But yeah, but I think that that is different from
a kid's perspective. If that was my parents, I might
still want that, maybe not as my engagement ring, but
I could still want that as some piece of something.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, I just wanted to get your opinion on it,
since you were of sound mind.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah. My only suggestion is do not do anything with
it right now.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Okay, I'm going to keep it in my jewelry box.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Does it bother you to see it all the time?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
No, I don't really open my jewelry box much. Okay,
Like I have the jewelry that I wear on the daily,
I just kind of keep out. But it's tucked away. Yes,
it's locked away.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
And it's safe underground. It's very miles away. It's hard
to get to it. I don't even think about coming
here for it. Speaking of kids, I saw this thing.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
It's three nighttime questions that we should ask our kids
every night before bedtime. But I thought that they are
good for adults too, so I thought I would go
over it because it's stuff that you could keep in
your back pocket to talk to your kids about Here
you go three nighttime questions for kids, and then I'm
adding in parentheses and for adults too, What's one thing
that went well today, What's one thing that was difficult today?
(04:27):
What's one thing that you want me to know about today?
And then also as I was reading those, I was thinking,
you could ask yourself these questions if you don't have
a partner, like I could use these as journal prompts
and journal to myself at night and make sure I
go over one thing that went well, one thing that
was difficult, and one thing that maybe I want to
(04:49):
remember about this day, or that I want to remind
myself about this day.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Or one thing I want to share with somebody.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, do you think you and Big P would ever
do nighttime question time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would love to do something like that.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I think he would do it to a peace me,
like when I pull out the concrete conversations, He's like,
all right, here we go.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The source of this I saw it on online, is
from the Kids Clinic. And what this does for our
kids is it calms their worries and strengthens our connection
with them. So I would say similarly, it could do
the same thing for us as adults.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah, if the child does not want to answer those questions.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Oh, I guess you don't have to. But honestly, whenever
I've asked my kids more specific type questions, they tend
to give an answer. And if they're like, oh, I
don't have an answer right now, then I just sort
of move on.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
What if it's like, what's one thing you want me
to know and they're like, well, you're annoying me right now?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
WHOA, okay do it?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh wow, that's really good to know. Thank you for
sharing that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, oh, you're saying that's how you respond. I was like,
I'm not telling you that you're annoying me, but I'm just.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Thinking, like my mom.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I guess it's at night, but like I remember like
conversations after school or whatever, and I'm just like, oh
my gosh, I don't want to talk to you mom.
One thing that I might want her to know is
that I don't want her to talk to her, and
then she just respects and moves on.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I saw this whole thing about how talking to your
mom raises your oxytocin, okay, which is your love hormone?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right yep.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
It says they did a study with a group of
teenage girls, half of them talk to their moms on
the phone, and half of them texted with their moms. Afterward,
the researchers tested their hormone levels. If the girl heard
her mom's voice, the girl's level of oxytocin, the love
hormone increased, lifting her mood, and the level of cortisol
stress hormone decreased. Texting with their mom had the opposite effect.
(06:31):
It increased cortisol and did not release oxytocin.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What I see from this, like, my mom's not alive,
but my daughter obviously, is that maybe sometimes instead of
texting her, especially on the weeks that she's at her dad's, Yeah,
maybe I call her so she can hear my voice.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, and then she can tell you. Except for she's
really sixteen.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Al was seventeen and definitely very annoyed with me, so
she's like, I don't want to talk to you. Also,
I'm not her biological mom, so the study might I
afferentiate that.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
But that was teenage girls, wasn't it. That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
The last person I wanted to talk to on the
phone as a teenager, I think was my mom. But
at the same time, your mom, also as a teenager,
is oftentimes the person for me I can speak for myself,
the person that something was really wrong, I would go
to her.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I just didn't always.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Want to tell her like about my day to day
because out of my beeswax.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
But I think as parents, like if we can ask
those questions over and over and then one day we
might be surprised and they give us more information. I
think they're paying attention to that, though. I think I'd
rather ask and know that I might be met with like, oh,
I'm not going to answer that, or you're annoying, than
like just avoid it and never ask, because I fear
that they.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Don't want to reject me one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Which speaking of hormones being released, I've started my testosterone cream.
I think I was telling you about that, and I've
been increasing my protein and I'm taking my supplements because
I'm trying to figure out how to be more normal
through menopause or regular Harry, Harry, Okay, sorry, Perry.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Menopause.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
There's there's pre menopause, there's peri menopause, there's menopause. What's Perry,
I think it's before pre oh oh, Wow, don't ask
me hard questions.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
So then am I in peri menopause? I don't know.
Are we all before premenopause?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah? I don't really know how to tell the difference
between the two, but I will say that about a
million people have recommended this one person on Instagram for
me to follow, and I started following her, and she
is the expert. So if you've got questions like that,
hard ones like what's pre and perry and what's happening,
refer to this person. I'm going to read an email
from Cynthia because she's one of the people that recommended
(08:37):
this account to me. She said, Hey, Amy, I heard
you talking about menopause. You said something about your obgyn
telling you to get used to all the changes because
that's what happens in your forties and fifties. I follow
an obgyn on YouTube that specializes in menopause. She's from
Texas and has a book called the Galveston Diet. It's
not really a diet, it's just what we need to
(08:58):
be eating we're going through all of these changes anyway.
Her name is doctor Mary Claire Haver, and she has
changed my life. She's taught me so many things. The
most important thing she taught me was how to speak
to my obgyn and advocate for myself about things like
hormone replacement therapy. And she also has all the studies
and statistics on why it can be a safe option
(09:20):
for women. I no longer have brain fog, joint pain,
or feel like I'm going crazy. So yeah, you can
follow on YouTube. You can follow on Instagram like I
already have been. She has so many great things. She
recently did an episode with Everybody Get Ready to take
a shot. She recently did an episode with Everybody get
(09:51):
Ready to take a Shot? Who is a cat?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Mel Robins?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Mel Robins, that's right. I haven't listened to the Mel
episode yet. I've just seen different clips from it, but
I have a on my list. I just finished up
Tony Robbins on Theobond's podcast, and that was a two
hour episode. It took me a while to get through,
especially you know, because you are you a Tony Robbins fan.
Something was wrong podcast. I don't mind him.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You don't like him.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
He's somebody that I don't know enough about to not like,
but age flag don't know that I would be attracted
to his way of doing things well.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I love Theobon. He's hilarious, so I think I appreciate
some of what Tony Robins puts out there. I've never
been to one of his seminars and I don't follow him,
but I appreciated Theo's conversation with him, and THEO cracks
me up. And I think that Tony has a lot
of good nuggets of wisdom that are good to take in.
(10:44):
At least that's what I got from that episode. And
I guess he recently put out a financial book of sorts.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm sorry I can't, but.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I say that because that's why he was on Theo's
podcast promoting his book. But he had a lot of
really interesting things to say to the theater.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, I will say I've never listened to anything. Sorry,
if you're listening to THEO, I've never listened to anything
he's done. I've seen a video on Instagram from his podcast,
but I haven't actually listened to it. But I also
am just and you know this about me, I'm skeptical
of not Theovon, I'm skeptical of most types of people,
(11:20):
like Tony Robbins. I'm even a little skeptical about this
menopause person.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
She's a doctor, I know, but I also just like
the diet part gives me like a red flag.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I will say, because I've heard her talking about it.
It's literally foods that are going to support these hormonal
changes and like how there's so much going on and
like these are foods that are going to help the
process and making sure, Like speaking of protein, you need
a lot more as you age. And I get where
(11:54):
you're coming from because I haven't wanted to track certain things,
especially in my recovery, because I used to be ocd
about tracking every single thing that I ate and making
sure and I would use my fitness power or whatever,
and that was sort of the last thing I was
clinging to before I went into what I called more
of a full recovery. And I remember having anxiety about
(12:14):
deleting my fitness Pal because I was like, well, yeah,
how much issed to know what I consumed all day?
But I knew I was consuming enough. But anyway, fast
Forward ended up deleting it, and it was great. But
I could see myself at this stage in my life
and where I am and wanting to know more about
my body and what is happening, wanting to now track
it so that I am aware of actually how much
(12:37):
protein I've had because it is imperative. Especially what I
realized with my low tea is I've been losing muscle
the last year like crazy. So now that I've got
my cream, hopefully that will help me retain muscle, so
that if I'm eating protein, I can actually have that,
which is good for all kinds of bone health and
function of my body. I haven't read the book, read
(12:59):
the diet or anything, but what I have gathered already
in this short time that I've followed her is it's
based on the science and the research of like these
are the types of foods that you're going to need
to hopefully feel your best during this phase of life.
What are your thoughts on.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That I've heard this diet multiple times.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I haven't looked into it, but I am all for
us being aware and having agency and promoting our health
and our well being.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
And we also have to be careful that we.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Are not becoming too immersed in it, because that's when
disordered eating starts that then can turn into more eating
disorders because we get obsessed with To me, it borders
though like Is this the road to the orthorex Yet
it doesn't mean it is, but that's how we walk
into that.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
We're usually wanting to do something.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And Lisa Haym did post something about this that inspired
my episode that I did about comfort around wellness culture
being obsessed with feeling good all the time, and part
of the process of moving through life is sometimes you
don't feel your best, but there's always people out there
that are promoting some kind of solution to all of
these things that sometimes are normal parts of life. So
(14:09):
I would never want to send the message to somebody
that like, well, that's life.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
You just have to suffer.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And I also want people to be able to sit
through like the hard parts of your body changing and
that's just like what happens versus there's something wrong with you,
and you need to be doing all of this and
you need to cut this part out and you need
to do da da da da da, because that's where
I think it gets really muddy. And we start picking
up behaviors that then can be added to another behavior,
(14:35):
and then those behaviors become best friends. And then all
of a sudden, we're sitting here being like, well, I
can only eat chicken and chickpeas for the rest of
my life, and I'm not allowed to run ever again
because I should be doing this type of workout. I
just see a lot of that, and I see a
huge rise in people being obsessed with hormones and cycles,
and I just.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Recall you talking yeah about that and getting yes. Very
I'm just going to sum it up. It's a little
worked up about it online because we did talk about that,
So I see your point, and I don't know if
this falls in that category. And again I haven't read
the book, but I have appreciated her information, and I
will say what my doctor was saying about some of
the changes. She gave me comfort in knowing. She was like, Hey,
(15:18):
I just want you to know that a lot of
what you're going through is very normal. So to your point,
she's like, you're feeling like what is going on? I
feel and she's like, actually, what's going on with you
right now is exactly what's supposed to be going on,
Like this is what happens now. There are things we
can do. And that's when she was talking about different
other things she could insert inside of me, and I'm like, eh,
(15:40):
I don't want that. I don't want that. But then
when I got my blood tested and it said the
low tee, like, I'm starting there, and I do think
I need some progesterone at some point, but I want
to just start with the testosterone so I could see.
I wanted to be able to journal through each thing
and what I'm feeling and if I feel a difference,
because brain fog was one of the number one things
(16:01):
that she said would help me if I got my
testosterone in check, and then also being able to retain
my muscle. And I appreciate your insight on that, because yeah,
I wouldn't want to promote anything that may put people
into a situation like I know I got into in
twenty and ten when I was trying to get pregnant
and I read this one book and then it led
(16:23):
to this vegan lifestyle, which led to now I can
only eat this certain list of things, and I'm thankful
to not be in that place anymore. And I can
approach things from a mindset of wanting to just ultimately
feel my best, but I also can recognize other people
maybe more vulnerable and in a situation like I was
in in two thousand and ten through twenty thirteen where
(16:45):
I really got obsessed with that, and that's probably when
the orthorexia got bad, and I didn't even think that
that was a thing. Nobody taught. It wasn't a thing
back then. And then later, probably four or five years ago,
I was like, oh, that was me, that I was orthorexic,
and I was zero fun to be around. So thank
you for that perspective. We can do a quick pivot
(17:07):
to snail serum. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I'm not try.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
I posted about that the same day that I put
up the wedding ring, and so many people were like, wait,
what you still do the snail stuff, and yeah, I
just hadn't posted about it in a while. But I
will say there's a code that still works if you're
wanting to try it out, and it's Happy and that'll
give you a discount, And it's in my highlight reel
on Instagram. If you go to at Radio Amy, you
can see all about the snail stuff there and see
(17:36):
how I do it and whatnot. But it's just biopel
dot com. I can link it in the show notes.
But the code Happy, we'll get you the discount, and
I definitely still use it. I'm now using all biopel everything,
the face wash, and they've come out with a retinol
and I've switched from.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Zo and I was a ZO fan forever.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I saw this whole thing about posting on social media
and your relationship, and it said that happy couples are
less likely to post their partners on social media, and
those who post more frequently they feel insecure about their relationships.
So I didn't know how you feel about your posting
with big p.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I feel like I post them all the time.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What's that saying?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I will say a while ago, when I was with
a certain therapist. I don't work with her anymore, but
I process with her. How when I am content with
my life, I find myself on Instagram and posting less
and I'm sharing less. And when I'm less content, I'm
posting more. And that's why I have such a weird
(18:47):
relationship with Instagram right now still, because I want to
be active on there because it helps my business in general,
and there are parts of it that I really like,
connecting with people that I maybe don't know personally. And
at the same time, I know sometimes when I'm doing
that it's because I'm bored or sad or missing something
(19:10):
or lacking something. So I have to very much monitor
why am I doing this. I don't necessarily think we
can say that person posts their boyfriend a lot, they
must not love them, or that must not be happy,
and that person doesn't so they must have a good relationship.
But I do think that there's probably a strong correlation.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It says here the desire and decision to make a
relationship visible to others can reflect people's fears or aspirations
for closeness with their romantic partners, with avoidant individuals preventing
relationship visibility, and anxious individuals yearning for it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I relate to that there is a relationship I was
in years ago. I don't know that he ever posted
me to his actual Instagram story.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
He posted a lot, he was very active.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
I was on a story twice I think in a year,
and it was a big deal when he put them
on there, and he put me on his business I
was on his business account a couple times because I
was wearing whatever his business was selling, but he not
one time posted me to his actual feed, and I
remember that being a point of contention, and you better
(20:15):
believe I was posting him all the time, but now
I feel very differently where Patrick hasn't posted anything of me,
I think since my birthday in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
No, your wedding, I posted it, he did? He did.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I could have no he did it, or I saw
him reposting people though.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Oh reposting on a story, but his feed, he hasn't
posted any since twenty twenty two, and he has.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Posts on there, but they're because I collapse.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I did the collaboration thing, so I posted it and
then added him to it. But that doesn't bother me
because there are so many other ways that he is
very president and shows up for me. Although I did
get in a fight with him recently because he didn't
think that my adult bunny costume that I got for
Easter was as funny as.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I thought it was. He didn't give me the response
that I wanted.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But there's like something for y'all's private.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Time where you wear this.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
No I On Easter Sunday, he was like doing the
dishes and I was like, oh, this is perfect time
to bring out my buddy suit.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
He's an adult costume. It wasn't like an adult costume.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Makes it sound like I got it at like a like.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
A knotty nurse. No, it was not a naughty buddy.
It was a large bunny suit with the head. But
he just thought it. He was like, what are you doing?
That's weird? Are you gonna wear that to our family's house?
And I was like, yes, I thought you would think
this was funny. Anyway.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I did not then need him to post me on
Instagram after that, because there are so many other ways
that he is present and shows up for me and
I feel secure. But if there was that contention, I
think social media shows up as a way to get
some kind of validation that like, he might not be
doing X y Z, but at least he posted me
like that means something. I would rather have the behind
(21:59):
the scenes stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, I have a social media boundaries list for your
relationship that I can run over in case people like it.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And is that from that article?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, this is from the Arkansas Relationship Counseling Center. Be
with your spouse more than your social media Respect your
partner's privacy. Ask yourself why you want to share something.
When you're sharing it, don't type what you don't want
your spouse to see. Agree about sharing passwords or accounts
(22:30):
do you and Big P know each other's uh passwords?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, I almost just said it, Yes, I do, and
he knows mine. But we know that because like if
I have his phone and I need to take a
picture or do something. I don't know that I've ever
read anything of his without him like showing it to me.
Maybe he's done that to me. I don't know that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That to him. That feels weird to me.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It feels icky to go in there and read something
without knowing. Yeah, I would say, you only need to
do it if you want to, and if you do,
come over here, we'll it together. I've got a voicemail
from Johnny Lasagna. He's just saying hello, and I'm just
I had some other voicemails going to go through, but
we'll just save them and we'll play this one to
remind people that we do have a voicemail line. You
(23:13):
can call us eight seven seven two O seven two
O seven seven.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Well, hello there, Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
This is Johnny Lasagna, just testing out your voicemail line.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
So hey there, talk.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
To you soon. And then you can also email us
four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com if
you've got a question for me. Or Kat call and
ask it, leave it on the voicemail line, or email
it and put it in the subject line. We got
a real nice note from Michelle. I'll end with this, Hey,
I feel compelled to say that your openness has helped me. Dang,
(23:45):
all the things I relate to amazes me. I had
an eating disorder in high school and I had treatment
for that and therapy. Thank goodness, I'm so blessed that
that happened. I have ADHD and dyslexia most likely which
side note this is me here. I had the dyslexia expert.
She's an interventionist. She came on my podcast recently and
(24:08):
I shared a little bit more of my story because
I had further testing with her to kind of nail
down where I was on the spectrum. And sometimes I thought, oh,
I thought that was my ADHD, and she said they
do often run hand in hand, Like if you got ADHD,
you'll more likely have some of this. I want to
bring people comfort, which I hope that that is the case,
but I also don't want you to think just because you.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Have one thing that like you have the other.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
But this email for Michelle, she's thankful because we talked
about it on the Bobby Bone Show. When I got
the test and when I found out about it, I cried,
And so she's referring to in the email here just now,
She's like, when you cried on the show, I cried
with you. I understand not feeling smart and trying so hard.
We are smart today. I listened to the podcast and
took away so much useful information. I wanted to attach
(24:54):
a text that I had with my best friend. She
is a psychological examiner for a school. She's the best.
I believe she would tell you exactly what she said
to me, having this issue has many strengths. Thanks for
being vulnerable, your friend Michelle from Missouri, and she attached
a screenshot of her text with her friend, and her
friend was encouraging her and being like, I see so
(25:15):
many things that you're good at. You have so many strengths,
and that's what I want anybody to know. Like, if
you've ever felt less than or if you've ever felt
like something was wrong with you, maybe because you were
given that narrative as a child. We need not believe that,
we need not, we need not believe that. No longer
(25:37):
dismitheth that thought is Where did that come from? I
don't know why I start. I just wanted to declare. Okay,
it feels like to declare, I do declare, I do
declare if it just sounds more official when you add
the to the end of everything.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
If right? What language is that?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Or is that just like a fancy way of talking?
It is like are we talking slang and that's the
right way to talk?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Is it from the eighteen hundred?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I don't know. But shout out to the Gilded Age?
I love that show. It's on HBO Max. Do you
watch it? No? Okay? Well, Rachel who was recently a
guest in my podcast, she's the one that told me
that season two was back because I had no idea,
And ever since she was on a few weeks ago,
I've slowly been working my way through the Gilded Age
and I love it. So you should go back and
(26:28):
watch season one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Is it like a new show? Is it a show's
being made now?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I mean season two just came out. It just came
out ish. I mean it was a little late to
it because I had no idea it came. I think
season two came out maybe late late last year. But
it's on Max and it's about I need a new show,
like New York Society back in the day, like debutants,
even like what's crazy is new money? Back then, the
old money didn't even want to welcome the new money.
(26:55):
Like new people were coming to town and they had
so much money. They were the wealthies who in town.
But the old money is like, it's like your new
money is not worth his our family name.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
We are here.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
We are members at this opry house like or Opera
probably said the opry because we're in Nashville, the Grand
O Opry, but you know, we are part of this establishment.
It reminded me of kind of how my high school was,
Like I went to high school with a lot of
people with old money, and our high school was very diverse,
(27:26):
but it was in downtown Austin, which West Austin was
a part of town where there was a lot of
old money and I came from a different part of town.
But regardless, some of my other friends that lived in
West Austin that were newer money, they weren't as welcome
like I was.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
So it was really bizarre.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I'm like, and this was the late nineties, so it
was happening back in the late eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
That still happens.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, yeah, yeah, correct, it still happens now. And one
of my boyfriends in college, like I swear to you,
his family was not into me because I wasn't a deputy,
which was bizarre to me.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
But I get it now.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Watching those types of shows, you just realize.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
How society and culture.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yeah, in the family, it's just ingrained and you're expected
to marry this type of person and it's what you
grow up seeing and it's what you're around. So it's
obviously until somebody breaks the mold, that's what you're used to.
Were you welcomed into Patrick's family.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I think that we are on the same page of
neither of us are old money.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Or new money. You weren't a debutante, No, no, actually
I was. We had was in a debutante.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
But our high school had this thing called Franklin Girls Katilion,
and it was like a high school storty, and they
did like a presentation where you wear white dress when
you're junior, in a black dress when you're senior. But
it was more like a clique thing in high school
versus like a status symbol in society.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, I agree, we had a little bit of that.
I almost wanted to tell you all my college wofriend
speaking at Katilion. I'm like, well, all right, I did
Katilion in fifth grade?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Is that do you like learn how to like sit
in a chair and.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
What for and how to like do the box step
wear white gloves?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
And yeah I didn't do that. Yeah, well you're cooler
than me. Yeah, cooler.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, all right, hope y'all are having the day that
you need to have. Don't forget call us, email us.
Check out Kat's podcast You Need Therapy. She's at Cat
dot Defada on Instagram, and she is at Uni Therapy podcast.
And I am at Radio Amy and we will Well,
I'll see you on Thursday for four things, but Cat
and I will see you next Tuesday for the fifth thing.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Bye bye
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